Life After Station 51
by storyweaver60
Summary: This story begins right before the promotions to captain and continues to when Roy and Johnny are captains. It contains OC characters and has one part that puts it in the mature rating. It is meant to explore the private lives a bit. Some mild language, & sexual assault themes. Mostly T rated. Please review, but be constructive. I do not keep anonymous reviews or flames.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own these characters. I also do not earn any money for my stories. Just playing with them for a bit. I promise to return them in good working order when I am finished.  
**

**Chapter 1: The Call**

It was a dusty, dry, hot Monday morning. Roy and Johnny were at the station checking the squad's equipment. "So Johnny how was your day off?" inquired Roy.

"Fine," Johnny answered tersely.

"So the date went well?"

"It was fine," he answered with no further comment. "Yeah," thought Roy; "I'll bet it wasn't." He knew if it had been a good date, he'd have seen his partner's sly grin, and Johnny would have most likely rubbed his hands together in glee dropping vague, but somehow lurid hints. He let the subject drop. He knew Johnny struggled at times with women. Johnny loved them, no LOVED them, but had no clue how to really connect with them. He just tried too hard. Roy reasoned Junior will figure it out eventually. Some lady will see what a great man he is, right?

"Joanne, I and the kids spent time at the park. It was a nice day to be out," he offered changing the subject to alleviate his partner's foul mood.

"Yeah, which park?" replied Johnny quickly taking the bait to change the subject to something less upsetting. They continued to discuss the details of where the DeSoto's' went and who threw the Frisbee where, when they were suddenly interrupted.

The klaxon sounded. "Squad 51, man down. 1134 Canyon Road, 1134 Canyon Road. Cross street County Road 5. Time out 9:54." Cap was already at the mike writing down the information and replying, "Station 51 KMG365."

While Cap took down the information, Johnny quickly closed and locked the doors to the equipment on the squad after replacing the bio-phone and was already sliding onto his seat and putting on his helmet. Any irritation was replaced by Johnny's work demeanor and he was already trying to picture where they were going in his mind. Roy had jogged around the back side of the squad pulling the keys from his pocket as he went. He pulled open the door on the driver's side and slid in putting the key smoothly in the ignition. As he pulled the door shut with one hand, he turned the key with the other. As soon as the door clicked shut he held out his left hand for the note Captain Stanley was holding up for him. Roy quickly passed it Johnny without even looking at it, hit the siren and lights switch, drove out of the bay and turned onto the street.

As they drove, Johnny gave directions. Any time he was unsure, he would consult a map or discuss the best way with Roy and they would quickly and efficiently decide the quickest, safest route. They headed out of LA proper into the surrounding countryside and soon were traveling along dirt roads. Puffs of dust blossomed around the squad and hung in the air long after they had passed by. Johnny watched as they drove reading addresses on the clusters of mailboxes along the road in order to gauge how close they were. "We should be pretty close," he remarked as he craned his neck for a better view of the passing mailboxes and driveway entries, "It should be on the right up here", Johnny said pointing. They spotted a police car that just arrived and saw the sheriff officer hop out of his vehicle. He began a fast lope up the driveway entrance leaving his car door ajar. Roy pulled up into the driveway closer to where the sheriff now stood. He waved the squad closer. A young woman with long brown hair and of slight build motioned them toward the barn. They grabbed the equipment from the squad and hurried toward the open barn door. The woman met them right inside.

"Right in here. Our farrier was kicked in the arm and side while trimming Hobo's hooves. A gopher snake spooked Hobo. He never kicks, never. I think Sam's arm is broken, but it isn't a compound fracture. I am mostly worried he might have internal injuries. The second kick hit him in the side."

Roy was first into the stable area. The victim was lying on his back with a saddle blanket under his head and a windbreaker draped over his torso. Off to the side they saw a motionless snake, now in two pieces. A grain shovel was lying on the floor. A few feet away, a pinto stood tethered, now calm. The farrier was cradling his arm and moaning. Roy quickly knelt to evaluate the man. "What's your name?"

"Sam, Sam White," he replied through gritted teeth. "I should have checked the stall better. Hobo's a pussycat." Then he addressed the woman. "JJ, this was just an accident." The woman just nodded. In response to the question from Roy about his age Sam replied," I'm 50."

Roy got vitals while Johnny set up the bio-phone. Johnny turned to the woman, "When did this happen?"

"Um, about 15 minutes ago," she responded as she checked her watch. "I got him away from the horse, killed the snake, and made him comfortable. My dad called for you," JJ replied. Just then, an older man came in to the barn.

"JaneLee, is he okay? I was worried. I know you told me to stay on the porch, but… He was here by my invitation you know," said Joe Jamison concern creasing his brow. "I'm so sorry Sam." Sam gave a dismissive wave with his good arm.

She turned towards her dad. "Dad, he's fine," she said impatiently. She worried about her dad becoming too agitated. "He probably has a broken arm and they are checking him out." She could see her dad was upset. "You need to watch your blood pressure, Dad. These guys have it under control. As soon as I can come join you, I will. You going to the porch or down to start fishing?" JJ hoped she could shoo him out.

He grinned good-naturedly relieved a bit to see Sam would probably be fine. "Okay, okay _boss_, I'll meet you at the pond," he teased. He knew JaneLee would react to that comment. She hated to be accused of bossing people around. She shot him an irritated look. He just laughed and exited the barn.

She turned to the paramedics. "If you don't need me anymore, I'd like to keep an eye on my dad. He has heart issues and, well I would feel better if I stayed close to him. Sam has tended his horses for a while and he was pretty upset when this all happened."

Johnny had just set down the bio-phone receiver after repeating the instructions from Rampart to Roy. He turned to the young woman. "I think we have all we need so it is fine if you need to go. Should I come and check his blood pressure?" Now Johnny was concerned for another potential victim.

JJ shook her head. "No, I have a cuff up at the house. I checked it a bit ago. Thanks though." She flashed an appreciative smile. JJ hurried off to see to her dad. Johnny wondered how she had learned to use a cuff.

Sam didn't need an IV and the sheriff's officer volunteered to drive him to the hospital. So the men were finished with the run. Roy and Johnny cleaned up their mess in the barn. Johnny took a minute to pet the horse and crooned into its ear. Roy gave it pat. As they walked out to the squad to put up their equipment Roy looked around. "Nice place," Roy remarked. "Did you see the pond to the right of the house? Looks like a great place for fishing; it's a pretty nice setup."

Johnny replied, "Yeah it is a far out set up. Got it all: horses, a pond and the land…very nice. It looks like a super place to fish or camp." JJ was just rounding the corner of the cabin as she returned from the pond. Her dad had cast out and was watching his line. Nothing better for lowering his stress level than that she thought. JJ had heard one car leave and wondered what the hold-up was on the other vehicle so she had come back to check. She smiled when she overheard their comments. Her parents' place was a little piece of heaven for sure.

"Hey, I wondered who was still here. Thanks so much for coming out," JJ called out as she walked towards them.

Johnny finished up placing equipment into the squad and latched the doors. Roy took a few steps towards JJ. "Yeah, we were just getting ready to leave. Glad Sam will be okay, ma'am."

JJ grimaced at ma'am. "The name is JJ," she said holding out her hand.

Roy shook it replying, "Fireman Roy DeSoto and this is Fireman John Gage." JJ shook John's hand as well. Both men had kind eyes and firm handshakes. She had heard great things about the local paramedic program and from what she saw, they were true.

"Nice to meet you both and thanks again," she said as the two men got into the squad and backed out of the drive onto the road.

John picked up the mike, pushed the button and reported, "Squad 51 available."

"Squad 51."

They were about half way back to the station when their alarm sounded again. "Squad 51, heart attack. 1134 Canyon Road, 1134 Canyon Road. Cross street county road 5. Time out 10:58."

John responded, "Squad 51, 10-4." "Must be Janey's dad," John stated with concern.

"Yeah, most likely," Roy returned. He didn't add it was JaneLee or JJ not Janey.

It took 10 minutes to get back to the ranch, grab equipment and run to the pond. Both John and Roy saw someone lying very still on the ground. Over the man was JJ, performing CPR. She was sweating heavily and even from afar it was obvious she was worn out by the quivering of her upper arms. Her lips moved silently as she counted to herself and then she stopped to puff air into her dad's mouth before she started compressions again. Johnny squatted down by her as he set down the drug box and bio-phone. Roy was across from him on the other side of the victim with the oxygen and EKG machine. "What happened?" asked John to the young women.

She answered as she continued to do CPR, "He just grabbed his chest and fell. He didn't say anything. I am a nurse and I have been caring for him. He has been non-responsive since it happened. When I didn't find a pulse I started CPR. I only stopped long enough to make the call for help. I am only getting a slow, faint pulse and he isn't breathing."

"When did it happen?" asked Roy.

She answered, "What time is it now?"

"11:09 am," answered John as he checked his watch.

"It's been about 20 minutes then", she replied. John knelt to take over and she moved smoothly back grateful for the respite.

"Let me take over," John said. She wrapped her arms around her torso and rubbed her biceps. "What's his name and age?"

"His name is Joe Jameson. He is 56 years old. He does have a history of heart issues. That's why I moved here, to help him out," she stated with disbelief in her voice. "He was doing so much better."

Roy had been taking blood pressure, pulse and respiration. He inquired, "Is he taking any medications?"

She said, "Yes, heparin, water pills, and statins. I was also helping him through his diet and moderate exercise. He improved these past three months. I was hopeful." The young women had slumped to the ground, her eyes welling up. Her adrenalin rush waned and the reality of the situation hit her hard.

Johnny stopped CPR to report to Rampart on the bio-phone Mr. Jameson's stats and information while Roy quickly set up to send an EKG. "Sending a strip now." Johnny turned to the woman and noted the stress and concern. Your name is Janey, right?" he asked.

"Yes ….Jamison, JJ for short. That's my dad, Joe. He's all I have," JJ answered choking back worry. "I've been here three months. I came from New York."

"Janey, you did a great job with him. CPR for 15 minutes is grueling. We'll take good care of him," Johnny said reassuringly. He turned back poised to restart CPR if Rampart ordered it. They all watched the screen measuring the heart activity.

"Squad 51, this is Rampart. Patient is in sinus rhythm but I am still seeing some occasional arrhythmia. Is he on O2?" inquired Dr. Brackett.

"Affirmative Rampart," replied Johnny.

"Start an IV with D5W and transport as soon as possible. Monitor him closely and send another strip in 10 minutes." Dr. Brackett's voice said over the bio-phone.

"10-4 Rampart," John said as he replaced the phone. Roy had already retrieved the D5W from the drug box and handed it to John.

The sheriff officer walked up and took information down from JJ. She answered succinctly, and never took her eyes off her father. Roy packed up as the ambulance arrived. Two men in white quickly retrieved the gurney from the back and wheeled it toward the man on the ground. They gently lifted him onto the gurney and Johnny stood holding the IV bag. His attention riveted on the patient. Roy slowly stood and looked directly at JJ. "Ma'am…." he began.

"JJ, please." she replied.

His face softened. "JJ, you can follow the ambulance or ride along with me."

"I'd rather ride with you. I am not sure driving is such a great idea for me right now," she answered her brown eyes full of worry.

Roy smiled kindly. "I kinda wondered about that too. You have had a rough morning. Come on and we'll go." He stooped to pick up the equipment. JJ ran to the door of the cabin and stepped in long enough to grab her purse and her dad's medication bottles. She quickly trotted to the squad, opened the door and got in before Roy finished closing the equipment doors on the squad. He jogged to the driver's side, opened his door and slid in. "Uh, be sure…," he began. He had meant to instruct her to put on her seat belt, but she already had it fastened. "Never mind," he said and pointed his eyes to the seat belt.

"A habit, Dad was a real nag about it so it was just automatic," JJ explained with a shrug.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Alone**

Johnny monitored Joe carefully. He took vitals again as soon as they left for the hospital. The heart rhythm was erratic at times but would normalize again. Joe was breathing on his own, but not as well as John would have liked. He called Rampart again and sent the second strip as requested. "Continue to monitor closely," Dr. Brackett ordered. Johnny hung up and was worried. He thought Joe is in rough shape. I hope he makes it. I would feel better if he would regain consciousness. As soon as they pulled into Rampart, John jumped out of the ambulance and carefully removed the gurney with Mr. Jamison lying on it. He was anxious to get him medical care as soon as possible. When Roy and JJ came in, he was just inside the door, IV in hand while he walked quickly alongside and was giving an update to Dr. Brackett. Dixie intercepted Roy and JJ by asking if she was the patient's daughter and professionally guided JJ over to fill out admittance paperwork. JJ walked away with her but cranked her head around to watch her dad being wheeled into an exam room. The paperwork went quickly for JJ since she carried all needed information with her in her purse everywhere, just in case. She had handed off the medication bottles to Dixie as soon as she was handed the blank paperwork and Dix hurried off to deliver them to Dr. Brackett. Johnny emerged from the exam room about 10 minutes later. His hand went up to cover his mouth and he rubbed it down and away in a gesture of concern and fatigue. JJ saw and her stomach clinched. She had seen the same gesture many times during her mother's illness by nurses and doctors. Johnny walked up to Roy and Dixie midway through their conversation.

"…just moved here three months ago to care for her widowed Dad. I feel for her. He is all the family she has now," Roy was explaining.

"That's rough," Dixie said, "Poor kid."

John leaned on one arm against the station desk. "Yeah, you should have seen her when we arrived. Her arms were trembling from doing CPR alone for 15 minutes. Pretty amazing, for a girl."

Dixie looked over at him with a withering look. "Excuse me?"

Johnny looked down embarrassed he had upset Dixie. "Uh, present company excluded Dix. You know what I mean. Most girls wouldn't have the stamina. I mean…."

"Junior, just shut up. You're making it worse," chided Roy with a smile.

Johnny just huffed out an exasperated breath and crossed his arms defensively.

Dixie shot him one more irritated look, then patted his arm and replied, "Johnny when are you gonna learn?" Johnny just smiled his winning Gage smile and shrugged. "Scoot!" she barked.

Roy gathered up the supplies they were replacing and Johnny grabbed the equipment. As they walked down the corridor to the emergency entrance and the squad, they spotted JJ in the waiting area. She was bent over in the chair, hands clasped together with her forehead resting on them. Her brown hair was a veil that covered her face and skimmed her shoulders. Johnny felt sympathy for her. He certainly knew what it meant to have little to no family and feel alone. He tapped Roy on the ribs with a free elbow. Roy turned to look at him. "Uh Roy, I'll be just a minute," Johnny said as he walked towards JJ. JJ appeared about the same age as Johnny. She was attractive and shapely. Roy began to say "Okay Romeo" but the look in John's eyes stopped him.

"Sure Johnny," he answered and continued to the squad.

Johnny walked up to JJ. "Janey?" he inquired. With all the excitement he had misheard her name.

JJ looked up and saw it was the dark haired paramedic that had ridden with her dad. "Oh, hi, how is he?" She sat up straight and leaned forward her brown eyes serious.

Johnny sat down and placed the equipment on the floor by his feet, but out of the way of others around them. "He is in serious condition. He's alive and that is in large part to you. CPR for 15 minutes, that is grueling. I am impressed; that's what restarted his heart and breathing."

"Thanks Mr. Gage, Yeah, adrenaline takes over and you don't really think about it. After you all showed up, it was like hitting a wall. You guys were so great. Dad has the best chance he could have now because of you." She looked up with her brown eyes welling with gratitude in them. "I don't know how I could ever thank you all." John flushed a bit red and smiled slightly. "Even with CPR training kicking in, I was still feeling a bit of panic with it being my dad and all."

John placed his hand on her arm gently. She felt the warmth from it and he could feel the cramps in her arms rolling. "It's John or Johnny not Mr. Gage. Man, your arms are cramping pretty hard!" She just shrugged. "Hey, we most likely will be in again later. I'm on shift until tomorrow morning. I'll check in on you and your dad later. I understand how it feels to be alone at a time like this." He stopped abruptly and was shocked he had shared that with a virtual stranger. He looked down uncomfortably.

JJ placed her hand on his. "Yeah, it is a lonely feeling. Thanks for stopping. Maybe I'll see you later." She produced a small smile.

John recovered quickly from his slip and smiled his charming lady killer smile. "You have a nice smile. It's good to see it. I'll definitely check later. Stay positive. The docs here are the best." He then stood up to leave, gathered his equipment and walked out to the squad. "See you Janey," he said before turning away.

"Later John," she replied. The name "Janey" was growing on her.

Not more than 10 minutes later a handsome doctor with dark hair and sideburns strode out of the exam room, quietly conferred with Dixie and then walked towards JJ. "Miss Jameson? I'm Dr. Brackett. Let's go to my office to talk about your dad." He offered her his hand and helped her up. Then he gestured toward his office door allowed her to go first and followed her. He opened the door for her and she quietly walked in. "Please have a seat. Miss Jameson, your dad is alive, but in serious condition."

"Please, call me JJ. I figured as much. How is he really? I can imagine a lot of things. I would rather just have it straight. He's all I have left of my family," she explained.

'Okay JJ, your dad most likely had a massive heart attack. Frankly, I'm surprised he's survived this long. I am calling in a cardiologist to consult. He'll need surgery, but he may not be strong enough to survive the procedure or even qualify to have it." JJ's eyes welled up and she swallowed hard to regain her composure.

"Yeah, okay, I was expecting this might be the case. When will the cardiologist consult?" she asked so quietly Dr. Brackett had to lean in to hear her clearly.

He's in there now. We may have to run a few tests, but we should know within the hour. We need to move quickly." Dr. Brackett stated as calmly as he could. He normally was emotionally removed from cases, but seeing this young woman all alone to make all the decisions and just newly moved to LA made him feel more than he usually did.

"Okay, I understand. Do you think I could have prevented this? I mean, I have been caring for him and I keep going over what I did wondering what I missed or didn't do…." JJ's voice trailed off and a couple tears rolled down her face. She swiped them away quickly with the back of her hand.

Kel automatically plucked a tissue from the box on his desk and handed it to her. "It's hard to know without more tests, but I suspect he has significant damage and even if he'd been in the hospital at the time of the attack, there would have been nothing more to be done. His heart disease is pretty advanced, JJ. I sincerely doubt you could have done anything more. It's good you had three months together. Your care probably prolonged his life and you both got some more time together because of it. There's still hope." He smiled slightly and placed a hand on her shoulder as he stood up. "I'll let you know as soon as we know the plan for your dad."

JJ stood up knowing the doctor had plenty to do without spending any more time consoling her. She held out her hand and shook his firmly. "I know you are doing all you can. Your stellar reputation precedes you Dr. Brackett. Thank you." Kel just nodded his head in a silent good bye and opened the door for her to step out into the hallway. "Oh, Dr. Brackett?" JJ asked, "Where is the chapel?" Dr. Brackett tapped on a student nurse's shoulder.

"Anne, can you take JJ to the chapel please?" "I'll look for you either in the waiting room down the hall or in the chapel, JJ. It won't be long now." She thanked him with a smile and a nod and followed the young nurse to the chapel.

JJ sat quietly at the back of the hospital chapel twisting the tissue back and forth absently in her hands. Her mind raced from worry, to recounting all that had happened that day, to fond memories of her father that made tears spill over and down her face. The only chance for her father had been risky surgery. Without it, it was only a matter of time. The surgery had been delayed until they could stabilize her father. Since he was still unconscious, she signed the papers. Even knowing that it was the only possible way to save him, JJ fretted over her decision and second guessed herself. They took him in around midnight. She floated back and forth between the solitude of the chapel and the surgery waiting room. She was too antsy to stay in one place and if she moved around it was less likely she would be engaged in a conversation. She did find herself thinking again of the two paramedics and John's promise to check on her and her dad. Of course, he wouldn't come up where she was since he would just be in the emergency area with any patients he brought in. About two hours into the surgery, Dr. Brackett came out in his sweat stained scrubs. JJ had wandered back to the surgery waiting room and was distractedly sipping on lukewarm coffee from a Styrofoam cup. JJ could tell by his stance the news wasn't good. She steeled herself for bad news, took a deep breath as she rose and walked towards him.

Kel hated this part of the job. He found it better to just address it immediately. "I am so sorry JJ," he began, "We did everything possible, but the damage was so severe and his heart couldn't withstand the stress of surgery. Nothing different could have been done—not by you or anyone today. At the time of the attack, the destruction was done. I am sorry for your loss."

Even though she thought she was prepared, JJ felt the news like an electric jolt through her body. She blinked rapidly trying to make sense of what he had said. Tears brimmed in her eyes, she looked at him. "I really appreciate all you and your staff did today Dr. Brackett. I know my dad had the best of care. Thank you." She extended her hand, shook his firmly and managed a smile that only reached her lips. She then sat down the cup of coffee, tightened her grip on her purse and turned to walk to the elevator that led back downstairs. She breathed in deeply and tried to control her emotions, but tears fell silently down her face. JJ would wait to grieve when she was alone. To distract herself, she began to think of all she needed to do at her dad's place. As she pushed the down button she make a list in her mind: turn off lights, check windows and doors to be sure they are locked, put away the wheelbarrow and other tools they had been using, hay and care for the two horses, pick up and put away the fishing equipment, and stop by the neighbor's place or call them to see if they could feed the horses each morning and let them out into the pasture. The horses had been out all night, but had access to fresh water and grass. By the time she had thought it all through she had entered the elevator, pushed the 1st floor button, and arrived on the main floor; the elevator doors were opening. JJ was deep in thought about all she had to do when she heard a male voice:

"Hey Janey! There you are. How is your dad?"

She looked up to see John Gage walking in the automatic doors apparently after parking the squad. A look of concern was on his face as well as a crooked half-smile. He was dressed in turn out gear. "Hi John." she answered dully. "Dad didn't make it. I guess it was his time. Dr. Brackett said the damage was done as the attack happened and nothing could have been done to save him." Tears spilled out of her eyes and JJ looked down swiping them away. John looked away to give her a moment of privacy and then put a hand on her shoulder. I am so sorry Janey." John knew she had ridden in with Roy. "How are you getting home?"

She was still looking at her feet as she answered, "I am calling a cab. Your partner drove me here. By the time I get out to Dad's, I should be better. I have some stuff to get put up and need to lock up. Then I plan to drive my car home. Dudley, my cat will be hungry." She was usually a quiet person, but the death had rattled her so she prattled on. "Uh, Dad's place has a stream and pond with good fishing and some nice camp sites. It won't get much use now. I overhead your and Roy's comments before…Dad… You are both welcome to come and use it anytime—and bring your family. You don't need to call ahead just come." JJ ventured a look up, misery etched on her face. "I mean it and thanks for taking the time to check on him. Really use the pond to fish anytime."

John felt like a rock was in the pit of his stomach. He knew exactly how she felt, how alone and vulnerable. He had been there too, just many years ago. Well, actually he still felt that way at times, mostly holidays. "Janey, uh what do you need to do at your dad's? Why don't you just head straight home? Is there a neighbor that could lock up and all for you?"

JJ replied, "It is just a little bit of pick-up of the tools, fishing gear, locking up, stuff like that. They have their own chores. Besides I am already going to ask for their help with the horses each morning."

John shifted his weight to his other leg and took a hold of JJ's shoulders gently. "Janey, you need to go home. I get off in (he checked his watch) four hours. All those things can wait. I know you don't know me from Adam, but when I get off at 6 am, I will swing by your place and drive you out. Then I will help you with whatever needs to be done. I know you are alone now and I certainly know how that feels. You need a friend and I can help you out, OK? We can make plans about getting your vehicle back home then."

JJ was all of a sudden aware of how tired she was. Her body felt like it weighed a ton instead of 118 pounds. She waffled, "I should just do it myself…but right now I just ….well, okay, I guess…..sure."

John added," If you'd feel better Roy can come too." JJ shook her head.

"No, no it's okay." JJ saw how they both had acted at the ranch and heard how they were regarded at the hospital. It was obvious they were good men, trustworthy. She started to walk away.

"Janey, uh, I need your address…." John sheepishly admitted taking a few steps after her.

Flustered and a bit ashamed she answered, "How stupid of me. Yeah, it is 3458 N. Alameda Drive. Look for a small yellow house."

"Naw, not stupid at all Janey. Not at all. I'll see you around 6:30 am. Go home and get some rest and snuggle with Dudley," said Johnny as he jotted the address on a small pad of paper he kept in his pocket. John gave his full wattage smile as he steered her to the exit doors. He walked her out and used a pay phone to call a cab, then settled her down on a bench outside of the hospital entrance doors to wait. Janey just let him; she was numb. 'It's the Checkered Cab Company. Their cars are yellow with a black and white checked top. Just give them your address and they'll take ya home, he explained. Then Johnny sat beside her and allowed the conversation to die. He just sat and waited for Roy. Roy had been waiting for him to stop by the nurse's station, but when he didn't show, Roy walked back to the squad. As soon as he saw John slumped by JJ he figured her dad didn't make it. He noticed the cab when it drove up and saw John steer JJ into the back seat. John then leaned in the front passenger window, wallet in hand and passed a $10 to the driver. "Take her to 3458 Alameda Drive and be sure she gets in safely, okay? She has had the worst kind of day." The driver nodded and tucked the cash into his front shirt pocket as he drove away.

Roy then walked up to Johnny. "Her dad didn't make it?"

"No. She was pretty broken up. I convinced her to go home for a while instead of back out to her dad's. She just needs to have time to take it all in. After work, I am going to drive her out there and help her finish up some things she thinks can't wait." John talked as he walked back to the squad and slid into his seat. He grabbed the radio and said, "Squad 51 available."

"You are getting involved, Junior?" Roy asked a bit surprised at John's level of association.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" said John looking a bit annoyed. "Yeah, so? I feel bad for her. I know what that's like Roy, being all alone so suddenly. I just feel like since I know about it I should help or something." John paused for a minute looking serious. "I know you shouldn't get involved with rescues, but something about this really bugs me. I feel a need to do this." Roy waited. "Roy, you know what she said after she told me her dad was dead? She invited you and me to come out anytime to camp or fish on the property with our family. She said several times how much she appreciated our help. She had overheard our comments. Thinking about that kinda of stuff after what happened? Surprised me, you know?"

Roy just nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah Johnny, JaneLee does seem pretty nice. It is too bad."

"JaneLee? Don't you mean Janey? That's her name Roy," insisted Johnny a bit put out.

"Junior, it's JaneLee; I saw the paperwork, retorted Roy kindly.

"Oh man, I was calling her Janey. Great…." Johnny thumped his forehead with his hand.

Roy just started the squad and remarked as he pulled out, "I doubt she even noticed Johnny. She DID have a lot on her mind."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: You Got a Friend**

The rest of Johnny's shift was quiet so he just had to quickly switch from his uniform to street clothes before heading to JJ's place. He'd decided he agreed with Roy about her probably not noticing his mispronouncing her name. I'll just start saying it correctly he thought. He mentally ran through several places where he could swing by to grab some food they could eat on the run. John figured she hadn't eaten anything and probably just sat in a daze. He hoped she might have slept some.

He easily found her place and ascended the stairs that led to her porch two at a time. He paused at the door, took a deep breath a bit surprised he felt a tad nervous and excited. Then he knocked on the door. There was a muffled "coming" from behind the door and JJ opened the door still clothed in what she had been wearing at the hospital. Her hair was mussed like she had been sleeping and John was glad to see she may had gotten some rest. There would be a lot of unpleasant things she would be facing over the next few months and rest would help her face them. "Hey, how are you?" he asked.

"Uh, fuzzy," she answered. "I guess I fell asleep without changing." She just stood there looking at a loss of what to do next. Then JJ looked chagrined as she realized she hadn't asked him in. "Oh, sorry, I am kinda out of it. Please come in, John. I'll change into something a little less wrinkled. Make yourself at home. I hope you like cats because I imagine Dudley will be in shortly to greet you." JJ hurried off to another room and closed the door. John guessed it was her bedroom and she had gone to change. He gazed around the room looking at the decor and photographs. He stopped when he realized it was a bit rude to just nose in like that. He could tell from her place, or what he saw of it, she was neat, liked nature, was family oriented and didn't seem to be into material things. It was homey and comfortable. She only had one thing that took up a lot of space: books and lots of them. Most were classics, some over theology and religion with some popular fiction as well. He recognized the author J.J. Adams, a new up and coming author. He had read his book and loved it. Fast paced and action packed, it drew you in quickly and had likable characters. His perusal of her book collection was interrupted by a loud meow behind him that sounded a lot like a question. He turned around to find a gigantic yellow cat with gold eyes. It was not a fat cat, but just large. "Dudley, I presume," remarked Johnny. He squatted down and held out his right hand, "Here kitty," he coaxed. Before he could get all the words out, he found Dudley had sprung up over his head and landed squarely on his shoulders. Dudley was perched on them, no claws poking into John's shirt, and was sniffing his hair and ears. "Well, well Dudley by all means come on up and say hello," he chuckled. The cat purred loudly and rubbed his large, square head against Johnny's. Johnny turned his face towards Dudley's and crooned, "Nice kitty, aren't you a lover?" as he gently scratched the cat's head.

"I see you've met my buddy," JJ remarked as she walked in wearing jeans, a t-shirt one size too large and blue socks. She was carrying her hiking boots in one hand, laces dangling. She flopped down on a chair and bent over to slip her feet into the boots. She laced them up saying, "He's such an attention hound and doesn't know a stranger. Duds will even fetch for me. He's a sweetie." Dudley looked up at the sound of his name and jumped from John's shoulder to the floor and padded over to JJ to sniff her boots. She stroked his head. "Good boy Duds. I'll be back soon." Then JJ looked up. "I'm ready to go."

John rubbed his hands together. "Okay, let's go JaneLee. My Rover is outside."

As they left her place, she remarked, "Is it JaneLee now? I thought I was Janey." Johnny looked at her quickly, embarrassed, but Janey seemed to genuinely be asking about it.

"Uh yeah, I guess I misheard earlier, sorry about that. He shrugged. So much for Roy's theory he thought.

"No, no, I didn't mind. I mean most people call me JJ. Only my parents called me JaneLee. I was named after my mother's favorite aunt. Actually, I kinda liked Janey."

Johnny opened the passenger door for her and motioned for her to get in. As she slid into the seat he said, "Well then, Janey it is." He gave a crooked smile, the one that usually charmed people and closed the door.

JJ found Johnny sweet and was comfortable with him. It was nice to just have someone to lean on a bit. It had been years since she had anyone to help her out. She clicked her seat belt shut as Johnny got in and started the Rover. He then fastened his seat belt and put it into gear, backed out, and drove towards the ranch.

After establishing he WAS going to get food and she WAS going to try to eat, they picked up some doughnuts and two bananas. Johnny had brought a thermos of coffee. The drive to the ranch was pretty much silent. Johnny could see JJ's mental wheels turning as they grew closer to her dad's place. He figured she needed time to think. He wasn't one to tolerate silence since he usually filled silence with idle chatter. This time it didn't feel uncomfortable at all. It was more like being with Roy after a long run in the squad. They often both were tired and there were no words needed to fill the void. In fact, he didn't really think of her as a woman so much but just someone in need. They swung off the road onto the driveway and Johnny pulled up close to the house. He shut off the engine and sat waiting for JJ to take the lead. After a minute or two of silence, she wiped tears from her face, opened the vehicle door and stepped out onto the yard. "Okay, uh we need to pick all the tools and get them back into their places in the barn." Johnny had already exited the Rover and started the task. JJ opened the barn with a key from her key ring and switched on the lights. As Johnny brought in the tools, JJ put them in their places. She brought in the horses from the pasture and fed and watered them, while John stacked up the little bit of wood that had been cut. He walked into the barn and rubbed the pinto's muzzle. He was talking in a low voice, crooning, like one does to a horse so JJ couldn't make out what he was saying. "Well, I just need to lock up the workshop. I'll leave the barn unlocked for the neighbors. Then I just need to bring in the fishing gear, double check the house and I can go." Johnny just nodded, patted the horse on the neck and followed without comment. He stroked the buckskin as he passed by. They both retrieved the fishing pole and tackle box left by the pond and then walked into the small cabin. It was an efficient use of a small space, but Johnny could see why JJ wanted her own place. The house was easily secured and in only a moment the tasks were done. Johnny retrieved the doughnuts, bananas and thermos of coffee plus one Styrofoam cup. He sat down on the porch steps and patted the spot by him for JJ to sit down.

"Here Janey, which doughnut do you want? "We have jelly, glazed, chocolate cake and yellow cake." he inquired.

"Whatever is fine," she absently replied.

"Well Janey, now that won't do." She looked at him surprised, but Johnny was smiling. "I need the name of your favorite doughnut you know. So what is your pleasure?" He winked. She smiled a little at his goofiness. "Alright, yes, that's more like it!" He just hated seeing that lost look on her face. If even for a bit, he wanted her to forget.

"Actually, I like chocolate. Have since I was a child." Johnny's face changed to a look of horror.

"Oh no, I like the chocolate best too! Well this **is** a pickle." John pretended to contemplate the dilemma. "I guess I will just have to settle for jelly this time, but just THIS time." Johnny handed her the chocolate doughnut and made a face to show he had been kidding. He also laid a banana down by her leg and took the other for himself.

She took the doughnut and the Styrofoam cup of coffee and laughed. "You are a goof. If you like chocolate, why didn't you get two?"

"I have my moments," remarked Johnny as he worked on the jelly doughnut and drank his coffee from the lid/cup from the top of the thermos. "Actually I am allergic to chocolate. Jelly is my favorite." He grinned.

They ate in companionable silence. Johnny put her empty cup and the two peels into the trash can on the side of the house and pushed the lid down tightly, closed the thermos and rolled up the top of the sack of the donuts. He walked around to find JJ standing looking to the north. "You need to do anything else before I take you back home?"

JJ looked back at him. "Nah, I was just thinking about the stream. Dad and I use to walk down to it every evening." She paused. "I guess we can leave."

Johnny stood for a minute and then asked, "Do you want to walk there? I can wait if you want to go alone or I can walk along with you. I'm not in a hurry."

"You have been so kind. It's not a big deal. We can just leave."

"I wouldn't mind seeing it all." JJ raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "No really, no joke Janey."

"K, it's this way." She walked down a small well-worn dirt path to the north of the house and Johnny followed. They passed the pond and walked through a small grassy meadow and then through a stand of trees and brush. The copse of trees thinned into an open area with a nice running stream. It was fringed with grass and had one area shaded with trees. There were two split log benches to sit on near the water. Frogs clicked their evening songs and occasionally a bull frog boomed out his chorus. Janey scuffed her toe in the sandy soil by the bank and sighed deeply.

"Wow, this is great," remarked Johnny. "I can see why you wanted to see it." JJ didn't reply. She just turned a bit away from Johnny and he saw her swipe at her face. Wanting to give her some space, he began to meander downstream. He didn't want to get too far away, but just give her a sense of privacy for a bit. He stopped a few feet away and watched a hawk hover above them as it searched for its meal. He heard the crunch of feet behind him and turned to see JJ walking back up toward the house. He jogged to catch up and followed her back to the jeep.

She got into the Rover silently and clicked on her belt. John grabbed the leftovers from their breakfast as he hustled back to the jeep. He placed them in the back and then slipped into the driver's seat. "You okay? Can I do anything?" he asked.

JJ shook her head. "No, time is what it will take, just time."

Johnny patted her arm. "It does get better Janey. Hang in there." There was a long silence. "Janey, should I come by tomorrow to help you come get your car? I'd feel better if you didn't drive it home, I mean you seem pretty preoccupied…."

She stared out her passenger window and replied, "I had completely forgotten my car." He saw her wipe her eyes. "I am not one of the helpless females, you know, but I am afraid you are right about me not being in the best state to drive. I will just get a cab out tomorrow. There is no reason for you to come by, but I appreciate your thoughtfulness." By the tone of her voice and the sadness in it, Johnny decided not to push it.

He started the Rover and they drove in mostly silence back to her house. Only occasional sniffs punctuated the quiet. He wished he could do more, but this part of death had to be worked through. John did what he could which was to allow her to sit and grieve without him making it harder with conversation. The drive seemed faster as they went back home. Maybe it was because they made no stops he reasoned. They pulled up into her driveway and he shifted into park. JJ made no move to exit. Johnny waited a few minutes then he said brightly, "Home again my lady." He smiled trying to lighten the mood and then inwardly winced. Gage, he thought to himself, sometimes you are an idiot.

JJ started somewhat and turned towards John. She smiled slightly. "Oh, yeah, uh sorry, I was a million miles away." She swallowed hard and then went on. "I can't even begin to thank you for all you've done, John. You don't even know me and you went out of your way to help out. You were a real God send. I'm sorry I was such lousy company."

"Hey now, none of that, I just wish I could have done more…" He trailed off. "I know how it feels to be alone, you know, from losing your parents, just trying to help someone else in the same boat." He gave an apologetic smile.

"Well, I need to go," JJ said. "I have a lot to get planned. JJ felt, well she felt numb and guilty-numb about the events and guilty for not being nicer to John Gage. "Thanks again and I really am grateful. Bye."

"Bye," he replied then added, "Uh ,Janey?"

"Yes?"

"Let Roy and I know when the funeral or memorial will be. I mean if you have one. We'd like to come…to uh…..well to support you…as friends…." He wondered if that sounded lame.

"Oh, uh yeah, sure." JJ replied. "I can leave a message at the station, 51 right?"

"Sure, that would work. Or you can call me directly. Whatever is easiest for you." Johnny quickly scribbled his number down on the back of the receipt for the doughnuts. "I have an answering machine at home," he said as he handed it to her. She took it and carefully placed it into her purse.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Endings **

The next few days were a blur for JJ. Filling out forms, dealing with insurance companies, making arrangements for her father's body were emotional and draining. She barely had energy to deal with the horses each evening. She made a few calls to a couple people back East to tell them the news and delay a few work related projects. Elaine told her she'd be out for the funeral and offered to stay a few days afterward. She called the station, but John and Roy were not on duty. She then left a message on John's machine about the memorial she'd planned for the coming Saturday with the time and place. His greeting and prompt to leave a message were a bit cheesy, but it made her laugh out loud—the message was a contrast to the man who had helped her out the day her dad had died.

Johnny and Roy's first run of their next shift was lighthearted. They had just sat down for coffee when the klaxon sounded. "Child trapped. 1405 Collins. 1405 Collins. Time out 7:15.

Captain Stanley took down the information and replied, "Station 51, KMG365." He handed off the note to Roy, who then passed it to Johnny. They arrived at the scene and found a frantic teenager flagging them down at the curb.

"Over here," she yelled waving frantically. "He's stuck tight. I didn't know what to do. Man, they'll never call me again."

Roy reached her first and Johnny grabbed equipment. Roy used a calm voice, "Where is he? Can you tell us what happened?"

"This way," the teenager pointed and sprinted off. The two paramedics followed quickly behind her. They rounded the front of the house towards the garage near the back and then she led them through the back fence gate. In the back was a hyperactive mutt racing around and jumping up on them all. "Get down Bandit, you stupid dog," she scolded momentarily grabbing Bandit's collar, "There…" she said pointing, "Cooking oil didn't work so I called."

The teen had pointed to the back door. There half in half out was a boy of about five years. His blond head and one arm were poking through the pet door. He was glistening in the light since he was covered in something greasy.

"Lisa," the boy wailed, "You left me alone. The dog wouldn't stop licking me." He was struggling to get free. Johnny went straight to the boy.

"Okay, it will be alright. Settle down. What's your name?" John asked as he made a visual assessment of the situation.

"Johnny," the kid replied between sniffs.

"Really?" the paramedic replied, "That's my name too." He smiled. We are going to get you out Johnny, don't worry. Can you hold still? I don't want you to hurt yourself. I need to open this door to see the other side, okay?" Gage opened the door carefully and inspected the other side with the other arm plus back end of the little boy hanging out.

Roy had determined that the babysitter had tried pulling and pushing the boy out and then tried to use cooking oil to get him to slide out but with no luck. The child had been stuck for about 30 minutes before she called. He sent her to get towels. Then he led the dog back to a chain near its dog house and clipped the chain to its collar. The dog whined and strained against the chain. The whining swelled to yips. He walked back and squatted down near the crying boy. "Hey, I'm Roy. We are here to get you out Johnny." He then turned to his partner, "John, what do you think?"

"Roy, I think we can remove the pet door from the inside," and he pointed to the screws in the pet door frame. "Once it is free of the door, we can pull him and the pet door into the house and just cut it away from him. He's wedged in pretty good and now it looks like he is a bit swollen around the upper chest. I don't think we can just slip him out."

The two firemen went to work. John manned the tools inside and Roy stayed outside to comfort the boy. He and the sitter, Lisa, used the towels to wipe excess oil from the boy's arms and face, talked to the child and kept him still. The boy regaled Roy and Lisa with his many reasons why trying out the pet door had been a good choice. Roy wasn't buying it, but he kept quiet. Once the pet door was detached from the exterior door, Gage and DeSoto cautiously pulled the boy into the house with the pet door still stuck around him and cut the frame gingerly from the child.

Careful examination determined the boy had no broken bones or cuts. His only external injuries were red marks from where he had been stuck. "Oh thank you so much for getting him out okay," Lisa said, "It is my first day babysitting him. I think now it might be my last one too."

"No problem. Just doing our job," Gage replied. He quickly cleaned up the area.

Roy smiled at them both as he picked up the drug box and bio-phone. "You have a good day."

As they left, the paramedics heard Johnny, the child, tell his babysitter, "Dad is gonna be so mad. He told me that was just for the dog to use, but I only wanted to try it out. I didn't think I'd get stuck."

Lisa replied, "You didn't think, you got that right kiddo." They heard the door shut as they reached the front yard. The two men exchanged amused looks.

As they put away the equipment, Roy turned to Johnny. "That little boy remind you of anyone Junior?" he said with a smirk.

"Huh?" Johnny asked.

"You know talkative, impulsive, acts before he thinks with the name Johnny?" Roy teased.

"Oh, ha ha," Johnny answered sarcastically. "Anyway, if it had been me, I would have been skinny enough to slip right on through Roy."

Roy smiled. "Yeah, but you still would have tried the pet door," he replied dryly.

Johnny started to answer, huffed in irritation and sulked part of the way back to the station.

John found himself wondering how JJ was doing and holding up. He got her message on his next day off and told Roy about the memorial set for that coming Saturday. They were both on duty that day. They arranged for coverage so they could attend.

Saturday arrived. JJ had stayed out at the ranch Friday night. She felt closer to her dad there but more emotional. "Well," she thought, "Emotional is part of the package here, I guess." After breakfast, she went out and started moving the pots of flowering plants she had picked up the day before from the nursery carrying them down to the pond. They were placed around the split log benches her dad had created. Few people would be at the memorial. She had not had time to make friends in LA yet. Their two closest neighbors, her publisher from New York, and the two paramedics were the only ones attending. She hadn't even found a church yet and her dad had stopped going after the death of his wife. He had been angry and distanced himself from the church. The ceremony would be simple. She'd read the summary of her dad's life and would share a few special memories first. Then she'd take his ashes and scatter them over the pond and close with a time of silence for each attendee to say a prayer or whatever. She was pleased there was no wind. JJ sat on the bench to enjoy the view and just let her mind go blank. She just sat and existed for a bit. The frogs, the lap of the water and bird songs wrapped around her. Peace settled in and she felt closer to God. JJ sat there for a long time and then checked her watch. She slowly got up and headed back to the house to get ready for the service.

The morning of the funeral the crew at station 51 finished breakfast. They had started their chores and in the middle of completing them the station was called out for a fire and injury at a home. Arriving on the scene, they found a man on the lawn having his head and hands hosed down with a garden hose by a neighbor. The engine crew checked the garage and found a small fire that was quickly put out.

Johnny reached the man first. "What happened?" he asked.

"I was lighting the furnace in the garage. We just moved here a few months ago. We have a new puppy and I wanted to warm the garage up for him tonight so I was checking out the furnace now to get ready. I followed the directions on the unit and next thing I know a huge cloud of fire came out. I burned my hands." He held them out and they were quite red and starting to blister. Johnny moved the garden hose away and asked the neighbor to turn it off.

"What's your name?" he asked the man.

"Larry Williamson," he answered.

"Okay Mr. Williamson, let's flush those hands with saline." Johnny looked at the victim's face. I don't see any burns on your face, but your beard and hair are singed." He checked his eyes, "Good thing you have glasses. You also have some bits of rusted metal in your face, but your glasses probably protected your eyes. He checked the victim's lungs with the stethoscope. Johnny got out the sterile saline and gauze. He poured the sterile saline over the burns and then draped gauze over the burned hands loosely.

Roy was getting BP, pulse and respiration and then set up the bio-phone. "Rampart, this is Squad 51."

"This is Rampart, go ahead 51," answered Dr. Brackett.

"Rampart, we have a male in his 30's who has been burned while lighting a pilot light on a furnace. His BP is 140 over 80, his pulse is 90 and respiration is 18. He has 2nd degree burns on his hands. They were flushed with sterile saline and covered with sterile dressings. He has singed hair and beard, but no apparent burns on his face. He is breathing on his own and there is no sign of respiratory involvement. He does have some debris in his face from the flash explosion. The victim was wearing glasses. His eyes look clear.

Dr. Brackett replied, "51 put him on oxygen, just in case there is respiratory damage, flush his eyes as a precaution and transport as soon as possible."

Captain Stanley came over to Mr. Williamson. "Did you install that furnace?"

"No, it was put in by the former owner, why?" he answered.

"It was improperly installed. I can't believe the house inspector missed it. Following the instructions would have caused a build-up of natural gas and an explosion much like you just experienced. I'd call a repairman to come out and install it correctly," Captain Stanley advised.

"I will," Mr. Williamson replied, "thanks.

Mr. Williamson's wife drove him to the hospital and the ambulance was sent away.

The engine and squad returned to the station. While the engine was out dealing with a trash fire, the squad was called out to a possible heart attack. They arrived at an office building and a security guard met them at the curb.

"His office is in the back. He is reporting chest pain and can't breathe," said the guard.

Roy and Johnny grabbed equipment. Roy turned to the guard and asked, "Can you carry the oxygen for us?" The guard quickly grabbed it without comment.

"This way," he instructed the two paramedics.

They hurried through the front door, into the lobby and took the hallway to the right. Office workers were standing in doorways and near the end of the hallway there was a cluster of workers at a doorway on the left side of the hall.

"Excuse me," Johnny said, "Can you move back please and let us through?"

Roy and Johnny saw a man in a suit lying on the floor. His tie had been loosened and the first few buttons of his dress shirt were undone. Another office worker quickly backed away and explained, "I loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt."

"That is fine," Roy responded as he pulled out a BP cuff and began to get vitals. Johnny started oxygen on the victim since his breathing was labored. Roy asked the guard to go back out and wait for the ambulance.

"Sir, can you tell me what happened?" Johnny asked the victim.

"I was in a meeting and suddenly my jaw started hurting. I came back to my office. The pain had gone down my neck into my chest and down my left arm. My chest is so tight and it hurts. I can't breathe and now I am dizzy."

"My name is Johnny and this is my partner Roy. What is your name sir?" Johnny asked.

"Mort, Mort Wiebe," he answered.

"Okay, Mort, you are going to be just fine. I'm going to put these leads on your chest so we can send information to the hospital on your heart rate," Johnny explained.

"You think it's my heart? I was afraid of that, a heart attack," Mort said anxiously.

"Mort, we don't know what it is yet," Johnny calmly replied, "The doctors will check it out. Now relax, you're going to be just fine."

Roy took the BP, pulse and respirations , set up the bio-phone and contacted Rampart. He reported they had a male victim about 45 years old, gave the vitals-all which were within normal range with the exception of a slightly elevated respiration rate and then said they would send a strip. Roy looked to Johnny to see which lead they were set up to use.

Johnny said, "Roy, it will be lead one."

Roy relayed the information. Both men could see from the monitor that the man was in sinus rhythm and could not see any arrhythmia.

Dr. Early's voice came over the phone. "Patient has sinus rhythm. Does the patient take any medications? Has the victim been under any pressure recently 51?"

Roy looked at Mort. "Mort, do you take any medications or have you had a lot of stress recently?"

Mort Wiebe answered, "Me? Nothing more that Pepto Bismol or aspirin occasionally. Stress, no not really."

One of the other office workers piped up, "Now Mort, that's not exactly true. You have a daughter getting married in two months and your mom had a stroke. On top of that you have this big deal you are working on," the lady said to Mort. "I am his secretary, Katherine Temple. This deal he is working on is managing the accounting services for a large manufacturer of appliances and will double our business. He has been working a lot of overtime on this project. I am worried about him," she finished.

Mort reconsidered, "Yeah, I guess that's right. I haven't slept well for a couple of weeks either. The wedding is getting bigger and more expensive too."

"Rampart," Roy began, "The victim has no regular medications but has had several sources of stress and has not been sleeping well for a couple of weeks. We did start the victim on O2 and he is breathing more normally now."

"51, monitor his vitals and bring him in."

"10-4 Rampart."

As soon as the ambulance arrived, Mort was loaded into the ambulance and Roy rode in with him. Johnny followed in the squad.

The paramedics left Mort in the capable hands of Dr. Morton. They walked to the nurse's station to get a few supplies. "Hey fellas," said Dixie as she looked up from the patient chart she was working on, "How is it going?"

"Fine, fine," Roy answered, "We do need a few things Dix."

Johnny had already started filling out the supply form while Roy and Dixie talked.

Johnny picked up the needed medical supplies.

"See you boys later," Dixie remarked.

"Yeah, we are out for a bit for a funeral midday, Dix," Johnny said, "but most likely we will be in several more times this shift after that."

Roy saw the question in Dixie's eyes, "Yeah, you remember the heart attack earlier this week, the one with the daughter who was a nurse? She has no family, so Johnny and I are going to the service today at 1:00."

"That's nice of you fellas," she answered as she bustled off to a treatment room.

It was 12:20 pm when Johnny and Roy thanked their replacements and headed out to Johnny's Rover. It seemed more practical choice given the drive into the canyon even though Roy's car was way cooler. The men had to attend in their uniforms, but it seemed apropos since that is how they had met JJ. Roy asked, "So do you know what JJ is planning?"

"No Roy, I don't. She just gave me the day and time. Well, that and that it would be at the ranch." The partners talked a bit more about the memorial and some of the runs of the shift as John drove them toward the ranch.

JJ smoothed the skirt of the simple dress she had put on. It was pink eyelet and had been her dad's favorite dress she owned. Her face was not made up. She figured she'd just cry it off anyway. She pulled her hair into a simple ponytail. It was easy and took little effort. She wore low heeled white sandals that would make walking on the dirt path easier. She placed the urn with her dad's ashes on the table near the door. Then she walked out to the porch and sat on the porch swing to wait. "I'll be relieved when this is over", she thought. And yet she dreaded the end of the memorial since it would make her father's death so final.

The memorial was short and sweet. It was obvious JJ had a wonderful dad and that he would be missed. It was a surprise to the paramedics that Joe had been a missionary. Elaine Matthews, a friend of JJ's from New York, her two neighbors, Johnny himself and Roy had attended. She'd scattered her dad's ashes over the pond where her dad had scattered his wife's ashes five years before. Now they were together again. JJ seemed like she was doing okay, considering, and Johnny was glad to see she had someone, a friend, who had attended. JJ had coffee and cake up at the house and the few guests mingled. John met and talked to her neighbors the McLaughlin's and the Longbow's. Both couples had only good memories of Joe and JJ and shared the ways they had been helping her out. They had finished clearing some brush, watered plants and had been caring and exercising the two horses. One of them had even remembered to have a farrier come to finish the care for the horses, a need that JJ had missed due to the death of her father. They hadn't even told her about it, fearing she might feel guilty for forgetting. "She has done so much for Joe and has had a lot of loss. First, her brother then her mom and now Joe, she has had more than her share of heartache. We sure hope she stays around here and doesn't go back to New York. She lived there for years, you know," remarked Sara McLaughlin.

As the guests began to make excuses, Johnny and Roy went to check on JJ and head back to LA. Roy took JJ's hand, "It was a lovely memorial. Your dad sounds like he was very special. I am so sorry it ended this way."

"Thanks Roy. I know you did everything possible. I really appreciate you coming. I can't believe how kind you've been. It speaks a lot to the type of man you are." She gave him a quick hug and Roy blushed. "I really meant it when I told you to come out to fish or camp anytime. I hope you take me up on it."

Still a bit pink from his blush Roy answered, "I'd like that. I thank you for the invitation."

As he stepped back Johnny moved over to JJ. He took her hand and then gave her a quick hug. "It was perfect Janey. I am glad to see your friend here too."

"Oh you mean Elaine? Yeah she's great. She's my publisher and we became friends. She will stay for a couple of days."

"That's good." John smiled and said, "Well, take care, see ya."

"You too," she answered, "thanks again for coming. It meant a lot John."

Elaine stayed with Janey for four days. She helped her sort through her father's belongings that needed to be disposed of and was there for her hurting friend. She was intrigued by the two fireman/paramedics that attended the funeral. From what JJ told her, the dark-haired one with the arresting looks had been quite supportive. JJ had been independent for many years and it surprised Elaine that she had accepted help especially from a man she knew so little about. "He was just being kind," JJ had insisted, when Elaine had inquired about John Gage. "He said he understood being alone. He and Roy went above and beyond, because they are good men that's all." Of course, JJ could be absolutely right. Elaine didn't doubt their intentions were praiseworthy, but it didn't stop her from speculating. It just was a bit odd. It wasn't like JJ was all that trustful of any man, after New York.

Roy and Johnny returned to the station by 3:00 pm and relieved their replacements. The engine was out on a possible gas leak call. They had just sat down to eat a sandwich. The cake had been good but certainly not enough to fill them up for lunch. As they took their first bites, the klaxon sounded. Johnny wrote down the address. They were called to a child injured call. Both men were quiet during the drive. Calls for children were always more emotional.

They pulled up to a house on a shady street and a woman jumped up from where she had been kneeling on the lawn and ran to the truck.

"She's over here. I don't know what's wrong. I came out to call her in for her snack and I found her on the grass," the woman said in a high pitched voice. Her hands fluttered about with anxiety.

Roy ran ahead with the woman and Johnny got the equipment and followed quickly.

They found a three year old girl lying on the ground on her side. She had thrown up and was lethargic. "My tummy hurts Mommy," she said over and over as she gripped it with her hands. Her mother stroked her forehead and smoothed her hair comfortingly.

Roy had already taken her respiration rate and told Johnny, "Respiration is 20."

Johnny pulled out the BP cuff, took the blood pressure, and then took the pulse. Roy set up the bio-phone.

"Rampart this is Rescue 51," Roy said.

"51 this is Rampart, go ahead," answered Dr. Brackett.

"Roy, BP is 68 over 43. Pulse is 70," reported Johnny.

Roy said, as he talked over the bio-phone, "We have a 3 year old female, her respirations are 20, BP is 68 over 43 and pulse is 70. She has been vomiting and is complaining of stomach pain. The child was playing outside and the mother found her daughter in this condition. The child is lethargic. She has no fever."

"51, did the child eat anything?" asked Dr. Brackett. Roy looked at the mother.

"I don't think so. Not since lunch," the mother said. "Sally, did you eat something?" she asked her child.

"Uh, just salad," the young girl said.

"Salad, what salad?" the mother questioned surprised.

"The salad I made for me and my dolls," she explained.

It was then Roy and Johnny noticed the oleander bush. "Did you make the salad from these leaves, Sally?" Johnny asked pointing to the bush.

'Uh huh, salad is good for you," she answered and then she threw up again. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out.

Roy contacted Rampart, "The girl indicated she ate oleander leaves. She just passed out."

"Start an IV with normal saline and give the patient oxygen. Insert gastric tube to start lavage, and transport immediately. What's your ETA, 51?"

"10-4 Rampart, ETA is 7 minutes." Roy replied. "The ambulance is here and standing by."

The ambulance had arrived during the contact with Rampart and as soon as the IV was started, gastric tube was inserted, and oxygen administered, the child was transferred to the gurney and Roy rode with Sally. Her mother ran to the house to get her keys and meet them at the hospital.

Upon arriving at Rampart the girl was rushed into a treatment room. The men stuck around to see if they could find out how she was doing. Dr. Morton spied them and came over.

"Hey fellas, that office worker you brought in earlier is fine. He was having a panic attack."

"Oh that's good," said Roy with little enthusiasm.

"Yeah, it is. What's wrong?" he asked noticing their somber mood.

Johnny answered, "Just brought in a little girl who ate oleander leaves. She isn't doing well. Roy rode in with her."

"Ah, I see. Well, good luck," Morton said and he patted Roy on the back. He walked off to attend to another patient.

Dixie came out of the treatment room slowly. One look at her face and both of their hearts fell. She approached the paramedics. "I'm so sorry guys. She had the poison in her system too long before she was found. We couldn't save her," Dixie looked away and then walked down the hall to tell the mother.

" Oh, man...," Johnny said his eyes closing and head dropping down.

Roy grew still. "Damn."

The two paramedics picked up their HT and other equipment and trudged back to the squad.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Connections**

Roy came into the locker room two weeks later and Johnny was already there hanging up his jacket. "How were your days off?" asked Johnny as he hung up his suede jacket and began to change into his uniform.

"Good," replied Roy. "We all went out to JJ's ranch and had a picnic. The kids tried to catch frogs and Jenny fell into the pond. They missed the frog, but we had fun."

Johnny was a bit surprised Roy had gone. He hadn't taken JJ's invitation so literally. He also was a bit hurt he hadn't been invited by the DeSoto's, but hey he did make a big deal about a date he was looking forward to. Too bad it had been a bust-another woman who just didn't work out. "Really?" he remarked. "How is she?"

"Okay, I think," Roy said. "We saw her on the pinto horse and she stopped to say hello. She didn't stay long, said she had to get back to writing her revisions on a book."

"Huh," Johnny answered since he didn't know what else to say.

Roy noted Johnny didn't say anything about his date and he decided to let Johnny bring it up. No news meant it hadn't gone as planned.

The klaxon sounded and the two paramedics left on a call to a man down at a supermarket. Arriving on scene, they were ushered into the supermarket to the frozen food section by a manager. A man was on the floor. Near him was a caution sign warning of a wet floor. The manager explained, "We put up the sign, but he must have slipped anyway. He is complaining of a hurt ankle. It is swollen so we called you guys.

Johnny knelt down by the hurt man. "Sir what seems to be the problem?"

"I fell on this dag-blame wet floor. My ankle hurts and when I tried to get up and fell again. Hurt my elbow then." The man's voice was filled with frustration. "Getting old is no fun young man."

"Okay, let's look at your elbow," Johnny stated side stepping the 'getting old' comment. Careful examination of the elbow showed no broken bones, but there was a big bruise and a nice sized lump. "I don't think it is broken, but you banged it pretty good. What's your name?"

"Roger Tillman. Call me Roger," he answered

"Roger, I am going to take a look at your ankle. I'll be as careful as I can. You let me know if it hurts," Johnny replied.

Roy had pulled out the BP cuff and started taking vitals. "My name is Roy, Roger. This is my partner Johnny. I need to get your pulse and blood pressure before we contact the hospital," he explained smoothly as he started putting on the cuff.

Johnny gently checked Roger's ankle. It was quite swollen and was already bruising, but he had no broken bones. "Roger, I don't think it is broken," John said. "It looks like a very bad sprain, though." He checked his pupils and asked if Roger had hit his head. The man said he hadn't.

Johnny set up the bio-phone and contacted Rampart.

"Rampart, we have a male about 70 years old. He has fallen on a slick floor. His respirations are 20, BP is 146 over 90 and his pulse is 85. Pupils are equal and reactive. His left ankle is swollen and bruised, but is not broken. He also hit his elbow. It has a large lump on it and is also bruised. It is also not broken."

Dr. Brackett's voice came over the phone. "Immobilize the elbow and ankle and transport, 51."

Since there was no IV, Roger was transported without Roy or Johnny. They drove back to the station. Captain Stanley met them. "After you two have breakfast, you have some fire safety inspections to do at a few businesses," he said handing a list to Roy. The men ate a hasty breakfast and then went out to check the businesses on the list.

After two and one half hours, their inspections were complete. While they were out, Johnny shared about his dating disaster. The girl had shown up late enough he'd thought she'd stood him up. Just as he was giving up on her and leaving, she'd shown up. "The date went downhill from there, Roy," Johnny had said dejectedly. As they got into the squad, Johnny picked up the mike and reported, "Squad 51 available." They had only driven two blocks when they heard their tones over the radio.

"Squad 51. Multiple stabbings. 634 7th Street, cross street Bayview. Time out 11:54.

Roy flipped on the lights and siren. "Sounds like quite a party, huh?"

"I'll say," answered Johnny.

They spotted the two police cars several blocks away. A crowd had gathered across the street. There were people shoving each other in the street and one person down on the pavement. As they opened the doors to the squad a police officer called out, "One victim in the street, two on the lawn. Fellas, keep an officer with you. It's a free for all here."

Roy went to check the man in the street and an officer was already out by the victim waiting for the paramedic. Johnny followed another officer to the front lawn. There were several people yelling at each other. "Shut up Beverly! Just shut up!," a man yelled in a slurred voice. He was gesturing with the hand holding a beer. The other hand was jabbing Beverly in the shoulder.

A shrill voice answered, "Joe, you worthless drunk. How could you do this to Marilyn?" Beverly was weaving and dangerously close to falling over.

Another officer had pinned down a woman brandishing a broken beer bottle. Blood ran down her hand. It was hard to tell if it was her blood or not. "Get off me you pig," she ranted. "I need to show Judy what happens when she messes with my old man."

The first victim Johnny saw sat on the grass. He had wrapped his white t-shirt around his hand. The shirt had a large red stain on it. He was moaning. The other victim was on the ground and bleeding from their belly. "I'm going to be right back," he told the man with the cut hand and moved to the prone victim. Lifting up the shirt, he saw a long, shallow laceration around the woman's midsection. She was mumbling incoherently and sobbing.

"Marilyn, you rotten witch," she sobbed angrily, "If you could keep your man happy this would have never happened."

Roy had joined Johnny on the lawn. "The guy in the street just passed out. He will be fine. What do we have?"

"The man over there," Johnny pointed, "Has a cut hand. Can you take care of it? I'll work on this victim."

It took quite a bit of time to finish their assessments since the victims kept yelling back and forth to the now cuffed Marilyn, her broken beer bottle having been taken away.

After contacting Rampart and reporting vitals, Judy and her husband, Alan, were transported to the hospital with minor injuries. Marilyn was transported to the jail.

Johnny rolled his eyes at Roy. "What was the problem with these people?"

Roy sighed. "Apparently it was a family gathering. One sister, Marilyn, found out the other sister, Judy, had cheated with her husband, Joe. So she took a broken bottle to her sister. Judy's husband, Alan got cut trying to stop it all. The guy in the street was a cousin. He just drank too much and passed out."

"They were family and did this to each other? Sheesh, what a mess," Johnny replied incredulously.

"Yeah, just one big happy family," Roy said sarcastically.

Both were glad they hadn't needed to accompany any of this clan to the hospital.

Johnny had tried all shift to set up a date, but he had no luck. His last date, a nurse at Rampart, had been pretty sour about the restaurant food on their date and then the movie she'd picked she'd hated. He'd heard it was a good restaurant, but her food was not up to par. "I don't know why she thinks it was MY fault," he groused to himself. "I didn't cook it. If I HAD then she'd have a reason to be upset." He snorted at his own jest.

He decided to drive up to the pond and check out the fishing. If it was good, maybe he'd just sleep in the back of his vehicle overnight or under the stars and fish again in the morning. At the end of the shift, he bid Roy and the others goodbye, hopped into his Rover and drove home. He packed a few things he'd need, stopped at a store for bait, food and ice for the cooler. Then he drove to the ranch. As he pulled in he saw JJ's car and knew she was there. She drove a light blue VW bug. He pulled around to the side of the barn so to not block her in and hopped out. He grabbed the bait, his pole and tackle box and walked to the porch. John was bit surprised Janey hadn't come out to see who'd driven in. He knocked on the door. As he waited he could hear the tapping of typewriter keys and the Chicago playing in the background. She must be writing he figured. After waiting awkwardly for her to come to the door, he decided to just walk to the pond.

John baited a hook, added a bobber and cast out on to the pond. He sat down on the dirt of the bank to wait for a bite. He just allowed his mind to drift off to that place you go when you fish. That place of just blankness, not thinking about anything when he heard a voice behind him, "Catch anything?"

John startled a bit and scrambled to his feet. "Hey! Just started, no bites yet, but it is sure nice to just be out." John shifted feet.

"I heard you drive up, but was on a roll and didn't answer the door. Sorry, when the words are there you just have to go with it and recently the words haven't…." her voice trailed off. "I didn't mean to be rude or anything."

"Naw, I didn't take it that way, John reassured her punctuating his comment with a dismissive wave. Johnny checked his bobber. The conversation lagged. JJ tried to think of something to say.

"Roy brought his family up a few days ago. They seem really nice," JJ said awkwardly. She wasn't much of an extrovert and found small talk difficult at times.

"They are great! Those kids are such sweeties. Sometimes we all camp together."

"Oh, your family and Roy's, you mean?" JJ asked.

John chuckled, "They ARE my family. I only have an aunt. Roy's the married one and I'm single."

Janey felt embarrassed. "I am so sorry, you told me that. Well, you hinted at it…." Her voice trailed off.

"It was a long time ago. No reason for you to be sorry." John felt a bit strained and his eyes darted to the bobber. No bites. He looked at his feet and continued. "The Mc Laughlins and Longbows mentioned you'd lost your mom and brother too. I am sorry to hear it. Life can seem pretty unfair at times."

She gave a sad smile. "My brother, Max, was ten years ago in Vietnam, and Mom five years ago. Life is rough at times, but you can make of it what you choose to make. I try to stay positive… Sometimes it's hard to understand, but my faith in God keeps me grounded." Her voice trailed off. She was feeling awkward. Conversations were not her strong point and she wished she hadn't come down to greet him. John silently nodded his head. He liked her attitude. An uncomfortable silence followed. It was uncomfortable because JJ seemed that way and it made John antsy.

"Actually, I have extra worms….you want to join me?" John cringed at his segue. Smooth Gage, he thought sarcastically, smooth.

"Actually I am tempted, but I need to pound away at the keys. These revisions have already been given one extension and I need to get them finished and mailed to New York. I might just sit with you for a while, that is if you don't mind." I could use a break she thought.

"Please, have a seat." He took off his jean jacket and spread it on the ground and patted it. JJ sat a bit amused at the gallant gesture. John Gage was an interesting mix of boyish charm, goofiness and champion.

"Thanks," she smiled and sat pulling her knees up to her chest. They sat for a bit, and JJ began to relax. John chatted about his job and testing for captain. He explained he would soon be working at a new station as a captain and would no longer be a paramedic. Not having to say anything was a relief.

Then he addressed her, "Uh, so you are a nurse. I don't mean to pry, but I am curious about that. Of course, you don't have to tell me or anything. Just wondered," Johnny awkwardly stated.

She cleared her throat. JJ began, "I graduated high school a year early, at 17. I got some medical training to help Mom. She was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after Max was killed in Vietnam. She went into remission. I finished my degree and worked as a nurse for a while in New York. However, I'd always liked writing, which is why I moved there. I wrote a medical advice column for a woman's magazine, but I worked as a private duty nurse mostly. I published a few stories in magazines and then got a break writing romance novels for a publishing house. They took a chance on my first real novel and it was the start of my writing career and the end of my nursing one. I took up nursing again to care for Dad."

"So, if I can ask, how old are you?"

"I don't mind at all, I am 29," she shared frankly.

He paused noting mentally that she was two years younger. "A writer, huh, so what have you written?" John asked.

Janey shrugged, "Well, I some wrote short stories for a few magazines. Elaine saw my work and asked me to write romance novels. You know one of those that only the setting and names of the characters change." She chuckled. "I seemed to do okay with those and got up the nerve to ask her to read a novel I had written. Elaine liked it and worked me to the bone to get it print worthy. It just got published last year and it is generating interest so I am working on my second one, at her request. I wrote it under a pseudonym. Most people don't think a woman can write adventure/mystery books."

"And….you gonna tell me the author's name?"

"You heard of J.J. Adams?"

"Yeah! I just read his book and really liked it. A clerk at the book store suggested it. Said the author was new, but looked promising. Fast paced, exciting….wait, YOU'RE Adams?" John's face showed astonishment. "I mean... I guess… I assumed that was a male author," he stuttered. Open mouth, insert foot he thought.

JJ laughed. "Yeah most people do, and that is the point of J.J. Adams. It's not a huge secret that I am the author, but the general public thinks it is a male. I think I will sell more books because of that assumption." She shrugged. "Money spends the same."

John persisted, "So you write those shoot outs and plot twists?"

JJ's eyes sparkled. "Yep, that's all me. I started writing those romance books when I was 24 years old. I guess I've always had an active imagination. Being an introvert, most people are surprised to see my writing. I can be whoever through my characters."

Just then the bobber dipped and Johnny set the hook as he stood up. He landed a decent 2 pound bass after a few minutes of play. He grinned as he netted the fish and held it up for her to see.

"Nice!" JJ remarked. "They are going start biting hot and heavy now. I'll leave you to your fun. I need to get back to Kiev and a car chase scene that needs some work." She bumped her shoulder against his saying, "Enjoy! Dad often used the benches to clean fish. Feel free to do the same if you keep any." She walked back to the house. JJ marveled that she had for the most part been relaxed as she talked to John. It wasn't that common for her. Being with people was usually a bit of a chore. She guessed that was why she had few friends.

The day passed and JJ was still stuck in Kiev. She made notes about the next few chapters and how she thought they might go. After heating soup for supper, she cleaned up the dishes. She switched on the porch light, in case John needed the light to see to get anything from the Rover. JJ sat down and worked another hour on the chase scene. The she turned off the other lights in the house and got ready for bed.

John decided to release the bass and spent the next few hours catching various sized and varieties of fish. During the heat of the day, he took a walk back to the small stream and then explored the property. He ate his peanut butter sandwich and a large apple as he walked. Later, he stopped out by the pasture fence and the two horses trotted over hoping for treats. He stroked their noses and patted their necks. He tried fishing again in the evening. As the sun set, the biting waned and John built a small fire and made coffee. He ate the last of the sandwiches he had brought and part of a package of fig newtons. He watched the stars brighten in the sky and the moon rise and sometime before midnight, he retrieved his sleeping bag out of the Rover, spread it out near the fire, stretched out on top of it and finally fell asleep to the lap of water and occasional hoot of an owl.

The next morning, Johnny awoke after sun up and was famished. He finished the fig newtons and made a pot of coffee. Banking the coffee pot to the side of the small fire, he walked to his vehicle to retrieve the box of donuts he had brought in case he stayed overnight. As Johnny approached the cabin, he heard the squeak of the porch swing and figured JJ was up. As he rounded the corner of the cabin, Johnny saw heR red eyes and a handful of tissues. He looked away, embarrassed. "Morning. Sorry if I disturbed you Janey." He felt badly he had intruded on what she must have thought would be a private moment.

She sniffed and smile ruefully, "Morning. Sorry you had to see this. It seems to hit without warning." She pasted on a smile to cover her sorrow and embarrassment.

"Don't be sorry, part of it. Losing your dad must be tough." Johnny stood unsure of what to do at first. He stepped up onto the porch and sat at the opposite end of the swing. Placing a comforting hand on her shoulder he continued, "Totally normal, being sad, crying Janey." She nodded mutely and closed her eyes. His touch squeezed out more tears and she bowed her head to hide them. "You had any coffee yet?" John asked trying to distract her a bit. "I have a fresh pot down by the pond. You can join me for breakfast. I have powder sugar doughnuts." He smiled hoping to cheer her up.

"No coffee yet," she admitted.

"Well, time's a wasting lady. Come on!" He jogged to the Rover and grabbed the donuts. Johnny held out his hand to help her off the porch.

"Um, I have orange juice. Shall I bring it?"

"Sounds fabulous! Why not?"

She fetched the pitcher, two paper cups and a coffee mug. They walked to the pond and ate in companionable silence. Midway through breakfast, John gently nudged her in the ribs and gestured to their right at a small flock of wild turkey. He was gratified to see her eyes light up and a genuine smile cross her lips.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Dear Janey**

Johnny had been working as a captain for almost two weeks now. **"**Good morning," Johnny said to no one in particular as he bounced into the station kitchen to start the shift. He pulled a coffee mug out of the cabinet and poured himself a cup of coffee.

He got a variety of responses from "Hey" to only a grunt from his engineer, Eric.

'What puts you in such a good mood Captain?" asked Ted, a lineman sourly.

"Nothing in particular, can't a guy just be in a good mood"? Johnny replied.

As Ted started to answer the klaxon sounded. "Station 110, traffic accident with injuries, 751 Baker, cross street Weston, time out 6:49. Captain Gage answered dispatch and handed the address to Al in the squad. He handed it off to Richard, the other paramedic. The vehicles pulled out with sirens and lights.

Johnny saw the flashing lights of a police car in the distance. Al pulled the squad up to one side so the engine could get in closer to deal with any fire risk. Al and Richard exited the truck and grabbed the O2, bio-phone and drug box on their way to the wrecked vehicle. A car had left the roadway, creased its side on a pole and rolled into an empty lot. One passenger was in the car and the driver had been ejected and was pinned under the vehicle. Captain Gage gave orders to his men. Richard checked the victim in the car and Al went to the pinned victim. He sent Ted with the port a power to free the pinned victim. Eric and Eddie washed down the area where gasoline had leaked out to prevent a fire. Captain Gage conferred with the police officer on the scene to get any information the officer might have about the wreck. Johnny liked his new position. Keeping track of all that was happening and needed to be done was challenging. Keeping the men safe and getting help to the victims was ultimately his responsibility now. He did miss the personal side of being a paramedic, the direct contact with those being helped. However, the department didn't allow paramedics to be captains. That part of his career was over, at least for now. The ambulance raced off with the two stablized victims. Johnny, Eric, Ted and Eddie stayed to be sure the scene was secure and pack up the equipment. They beat the squad back to the station. Johnny went into his office to complete some paperwork while the others checked and cleaned the engine. He heard Al and Richard drive in. "Hey, fellas, how are the victims?" he asked as they passed by his office door.

"Well Cap, the one in the car is doing pretty well. The driver is in really rough shape. Only time will tell for him," Al said.

Richard added, "The driver's in surgery, lots of internal injuries. A seat belt would have prevented it too." He sighed in frustration.

Johnny nodded. "Yeah, that happens a lot." Johnny grimaced knowing he had had the same thought many times. He put on his captain face. "Fellas, you have a fire prevention demonstration at the elementary school this afternoon." They nodded and walked toward the kitchen in search of coffee.

JJ found herself with too much time on her hands after her dad's death, too much time to think. She found a local church to attend. Through them she was able to connect with thrift shop. She volunteered twice a week sort and fold/hang clothes at the shop and tutored kids at a local grade school. JJ also occasionally worked to fill in for sick or vacationing nurses for in home care. Between that and her writing she stayed busy enough.

Station 110 answered several calls for traffic accidents, two house fires and a trapped construction worker. One of the house fires had been a bit of a strange one. Arriving on scene, they were greeted by two young men in their early 20's. They had seemed strangely laid back in light of their house being in flames. The blaze was quickly put out. While Johnny was near the house, he smelled an odd odor that reminded him of another run when he was a paramedic. They had found an injured man and a truck on fire. Chet had started to wander away during the fire and had seemed confused after inhaling the smoke. John smirked and quickly moved to consult the police officer on scene. When the fire was out, the cause of the fire was quickly found. Large grow lights had overheated the outlets. Even with the fire, about 1/3 of the marijuana plants growing in the basement were unburned. Johnny had smelled the other 2/3 burning in the fire. No wonder those young men were not freaking out he thought. They were as high as kites. The two 'farmers' were still feeling pretty good even as they were led off in handcuffs. They probably wouldn't be in a few hours thought John thought to himself with a snort.

During his days off, Johnny had often dates, usually one shot ones. Other times he spent time outside, helped friends or took photos. Johnny found himself spending quite a bit of time at JJ's ranch of fifteen acres. She was gone more often than not, but when she was there, she usually stopped to visit for a while. She showed him all the better spots on the pond and a couple good ones along the creek for fishing. Twice she had stayed to fish. Strangely, she had been almost completely quiet while they fished only remarking if he caught one or if she did. Johnny tended to talk while he fished. JJ didn't seem bothered by it, but answered with brief direct replies. She wasn't rude, just restrained. Sometimes he wondered if she was perhaps irritated by his talking, but he didn't ask.

JJ found Johnny easy to be with. He was gregarious, but not fake. He asked her things, but accepted her pithy answers. Because he didn't persist, JJ found it easier to add particulars. Spending time with him was comfortable and straightforward. It was pleasant to have a friend that you didn't have to be on guard with. He laughed when she teased him and was quick to tease her back. Time with him reminded her of time with Max and that soothed the ache her dad's death had left.

Johnny found her easy to talk to. She was a buddy to him, more like a "Roy" than a 'girl', at least in his experience. Probably the first woman friend he'd spent any length of time with as a grown man. Of course he knew she was a female, but well their time together was not at all like any of the dates he spent with women. Johnny didn't feel pressured, by whatever drove him when he was on a date, to impress JJ. She teased him like the guys at work, took his comments at face value and could take a humorous poke at herself as well. If she was unsure what he meant, she asked. Most women read things into what he said and almost seemed to twist them into something he didn't mean. They would get upset if he didn't offer to open doors and then incensed at him if he did. It was all just so maddening. JJ called him on any crap he pulled, well like a guy might. So that's why he kinda forgot she was a woman at times.

It wasn't long until JJ discovered John liked riding. She was thrilled to find someone to ride with. Since the death of her dad, she had ridden alone. Although she liked solitude, riding with another person was more enjoyable. Johnny was more than willing to ride. Hobo was JJ's horse so she let him ride Spirit, the buckskin. Spirit had been her father's horse. Although he was gentle, she had noticed he was out of sorts since her dad's death. He appeared to respond better to males and it seemed he took to Johnny quickly. They had several short rides before they were able to plan a day long outing. He had brought his camera along. They had driven the horses in a trailer to a public site and ridden the trails. The trail was narrow, so most of the day was spent without conversation. JJ had enjoyed the companionship and so had Johnny.

It was on a second day long ride about two months after they had met on the emergency call to her dad's ranch he found himself talking to her about his dating woes. They had stopped to allow the horses to browse and get a drink at a small stream along a trail. They both sat on a boulder. John had been talking about a movie he had gone to see and as he told JJ about it mentioned that his date had hated "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest". It was obvious he was irritated about it. "I read the list of movies currently showing out of the paper. She picked it and then bellyached about it the rest of the night like it was my fault. I felt guilty I'd let her pick it and mad because she blamed me for _her _decision. Why do women do that? I wish I knew." He had let his guard down and talked to her more like he would have to Roy.

JJ looked at him with a serious look on her face and John was jolted with the thought he had probably just screwed up royally. "Great," he thought, "Just peachy. I guess it was a matter of time," he mused, "Women!"

"Well, that _is_ a good question," she replied. "I have had girlfriends that do that too. It annoys the tar out of me. They pick at the littlest thing and talk trash about all guys. Some women are like that, I guess," she said with a shrug, "I don't get the pettiness." JJ looked at him, "Was she excited about going to this movie, John?"

"Yeah, I thought so. We'd planned for a few days to go out. I was hoping to impress her so I let her choose. You know women's lib and all that. It's hard to figure because some girls want you to take charge and others resent you making any decisions. I guess my idea flopped." He hung his head slightly looking dejected. Then he ran his hand through his hair and looked towards the horses.

JJ sat thoughtful for a while. "John, may I ask you something? You don't have to if you don't want to answer."

"K, shoot, I guess." He shrugged.

"Why is it so important you impress your date? "

"What? Why wouldn't I want to?" he answered annoyed, his voice volume rising. "That's part of it, right? These days women want to be wined and dined and fussed over AND then treated like an equal. So it is a guy's job to figure out how to make the woman happy," He looked at her incredulously.

JJ laughed. "Now that you put it that way, I can see what you mean. Things are more complicated these days." There was a bit of silence. "Well, it seems to me it shouldn't need to be that way," she said pausing. "I guess I go out with someone not to be impressed, but to spend time with them. I mean fussing is nice, but only if it is more personal in nature. Like remembering a preference or being helpful in a crisis—stuff like that. I mean if the dating leads to anything, wouldn't you want to be able to enjoy time with them? Not feel on edge all the time to make the perfect decision or choice? Maybe I am way off." She gave a wry laugh. "It's not like I am on the dating hit parade or anything. Not sure why you'd listen to my advice." She made a deprecating face.

John lightly punched her on the upper arm. "Cuz that's what pals are for? It is something to think on." He gave her a smile. She punched him back on the arm, smiling back. They swung up onto the horses and rode for another hour stopping only for John to snap pictures or just to enjoy a view before racing against each other back to the trailer

Patricia was the newest receptionist at headquarters. Her suntanned skin and blonde hair got her a lot of attention from single males and any firefighter that had business there. Not only was she pretty, her outgoing personality made for stimulating flirting. Of course Johnny spotted her immediately when he attended a mandatory meeting for captains. Roy saw Johnny almost give himself whiplash with a double take and rolled his eyes. He figured all breaks from the meeting would find John at her desk. He was quite surprised that John only stopped twice to talk to Patricia. The first stop was on a break to introduce himself and welcome her to the fire department. As they left for the day Johnny thanked her for making the coffee for the meeting.

What Roy didn't know was John had been asking Janey for more advice on approaching women. She had suggested he take it a bit slower by not asking a woman out right away. So he decided Patricia would be the first lady on which he would try out the new approach. About three days later, he found a legitimate reason to stop by headquarters and as he passed Patricia's desk, he stopped to say hello and then complimented her on her pantsuit. She blushed and thanked him. About a week later, he sent a small bouquet of flowers with a card inviting her out for coffee. He was pleased that she called the same day and accepted; they set a date and place. JJ's advice was to ask a lot of questions about her, and answer any questions she had for him keeping his answers friendly, but brief. When he took her home if he wanted to still see her to NOT kiss her, but to take both her hands in his and ask her out for another date. By then he should have enough information about her likes to make a good suggestion of what they might want to do. John wasn't too sure about the no kiss part and he'd argued a bit about needing to use the 'ole Gage charm'. JJ assured him that his charm would naturally come out. She also reminded him that the 'ole Gage charm' gambit hadn't been working quite like he wanted. John smarted at the comment but had to admit she was right. He smiled as he left Patricia's place after coffee with a plan to go out again on his next day off.

Johnny reported to JJ that their first 'official' date had gone quite well and punctuated his report with the 'now we're cooking' hand rub. He didn't give details to her, and she didn't ask for any. John and Patricia had attended a local wine tasting festival and then eaten at a small nearby bistro. By already knowing Patricia a bit, the normal strain of his first dates was lessened. He even got to first base, because Patricia had kissed _him_. Maybe JJ has something here, he thought. After a few weeks Patricia had stopped accepting invites to go out. Johnny wasn't too upset since he'd figured out Patricia was high maintenance, and he'd had his fill of that type of woman.

Once he asked JJ, "How in heck did you ever figure all this out?"

JJ sat quietly for a bit. "Well, mostly from observing others who are happily married, a little from reading and the rest from what I think I'd want in a relationship. I suppose by writing and developing characters in a novel, you kinda notice what works and what doesn't."

Johnny replied, "You must be some sort of genius."

"I have my moments," answered Janey with a snarky grin. John laughed and rolled his eyes.

JJ had to admit it was pretty funny Johnny was asking her for dating advice. She hadn't been on a date in well over a year. She'd gotten a lot of information from the reading she had been assigned by the group leader in New York two years ago and then here right after she came to California. Even so she found it hard to move from casual dating to a more serious relationship. Of course, she knew why that was. She just didn't know how to fix it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Growing Pains**

Johnny continued to learn on the job as fire captain of station 110. Roy had shared he was also finding his new position stimulating. When Johnny had any down time, he did think a lot on what he and JJ had talked about. Johnny also recalled snippets of advice from Roy over the years. "Junior, why do you always pick the difficult ones?" "Maybe she just isn't your type." He called Roy and they had lunch or coffee regularly. Roy invited him to his home and he spent time with the family. They talked a little about what JJ had brought up about dating and "impressing the woman" sometimes, but Johnny never told Roy where he had heard it from. He felt guilty about making it seem like he had an insight of his own. He was unsure of why he kept it from his best friend.

Johnny found himself more choosey than before when selecting woman to ask out. He tried to do more things that were less flashy when he dated, slowed down his pursuit, but still after much more than a few months of dating someone, and he found the relationships flat. Even so John had two women he dated exclusively longer than he had ever before and he guessed that was progress. Sure was better than mostly one time shots, like before.

The last woman he dated was bank teller from his bank. They had exchanged verbal banter for a couple of weeks before he'd asked her out for coffee. After a couple of traditional dates, he'd asked her to go hiking. Rachel had been a real sport about going hiking and trying rock climbing, but as they spent more time together he figured out she really preferred museums and concerts. Not that anything was bad about that, but someone who didn't like being outdoors would not be anyone with whom he could spend time. Rachel had been really pretty and funny—a great lady, but it just kinda fizzled out. She was the first women HE broke it off with. Of course, he'd asked Roy how to approach it. She might react several ways; he wanted be prepared for anything. However, Rachel seemed to see it coming and although disappointed, she didn't make a scene. John was relieved.

Johnny knew moving up to captain was the right move; it had been time. However, he wished he could still work as a paramedic. John also missed the rescue work. He still sometimes used his skills. Of course, he didn't miss all the personal injuries. He smiled wryly to himself. Moving up to captain probably saved the department a fortune since he didn't need so much time off to recuperate. John also missed seeing Roy every day; missed it even more than he had anticipated. He didn't miss all the wet uniforms from the "Phantom". He wondered how the new 'pigeon' was handling it all. He hoped he could dish it out good, for his sake. Johnny's new crew was a bright spot. They had made him feel welcome and were all skilled firemen. At least he didn't have to deal with a sub-par fire fighter. Johnny had been doing better with dealing with irritation at work. He took more in stride as a captain than he had at 51. He wasn't sure why, maybe just the different responsibilities brought it out. Roy and Captain Stanley must have rubbed off on him some he figured.

JJ continued working on her current novel. She suffered from frequent dry spells or writer's block. If she was unable to spend time outside to unwind, JJ would bake. She loved to bake and would pull out her mother's recipe file for inspiration. Most of the time she would bake for several days and found herself with oodles of goods she could not possible eat alone. She took some to neighbors like Mrs. Simpson, the McLaughlins and the Longbows. However, they couldn't eat 20 pies or 12 dozen cookies. The men who worked under John or Roy came to love her dry spells. Dry spells meant JJ would bring by baked goods like pies or cinnamon rolls for the shift. The men would invite her to sit, if they had the time, and visit for a spell. She mostly listened to their male bonding chatter, which JJ found hilarious. She rarely joined in, but she wasn't above laughing at a particularly well worded jab. The familiar smells of family favorites brought back a flood of happy memories to JJ. She left her sadness and worries behind during the visits with others.

Christmas time was approaching. JJ had gone back to New York over Thanksgiving for a series of meetings with her publisher and spent the holiday with Elaine. Soon JJ would be home in LA. Roy and Johnny worried about her being alone over the holidays. They had hoped she might come over to the DeSoto's for Christmas Eve and stay overnight for Christmas Day. Only committing to dinner on Christmas Day, JJ appreciated their invitation, but she worried dealing with her grief AND being around people would be too much. Johnny felt she needed to have someone around this holiday. He hated to see her alone. Those first holidays after the loss of his parents had been more difficult for Johnny as a boy than people realized. Of course JJ was an adult, but even so she didn't even have an aunt. During a day off, he called her sharing his own experiences and expressed concern about her being alone. "I don't care if you ignore me all night. I just think having someone around is best, just in case," he implored. Honestly, she dreaded being alone, but also didn't want to have to deal with all the niceties of a gathering. JJ usually attended a Christmas Eve service and that was one tradition to which she could still cling. Johnny agreed to attend with her. He enjoyed the music and performances of the children at the church during the hour long program. It had been a while since he had heard the Christmas Story from Luke. As they left, she'd introduced Johnny to some of the older ladies who had "adopted" JJ. Like a group of clucking hens, they scolded he needed to eat more, declared how handsome he was and praised him for being so great to 'their JJ'. John had been both embarrassed by the fussing and gotten a real kick out of them. Afterwards, JJ and he had hot chocolate at her house by the fire pit out back. Then he'd helped her trim her family tree over a couple of beers. She had brought it to her home from the ranch. They checked the light strings and replaced burned out bulbs. As she hung the unique ornaments, she'd shared the history behind each. The beers had loosened her tongue and she started sharing about her past. Her parents had been missionaries that served in the States. They had worked in the slums of the inner cities and in various places in the impoverished Appalachian Mountains. Many of the decorations were from their times there. The others were art projects she or Max had created at school. Under the tree, she'd set up the creche as family tradition dictated. John learned more about her background that night than he had in the months he'd known her. She'd shared the difficulty in being accepted by the kids in the areas where she lived. "They were distrustful of us," she explained, "in the inner cities we were whites and in the mountains we were outsiders. I understood their feelings, but that didn't make it easier for me. About the time I would start making friends, we would be moved. My parents were so patient, so understanding. A lot of time was spent on bettering the people's quality of life. Things most of us take for granted. Maybe we helped clean out a lot and plant a vegetable garden, dug wells uphill from outhouses for clean water or helped provide daycare so a parent could work. Later on came the Bible studies." She smiled to herself. "I guess I started making stories up to keep myself company. Plus Max and I were pretty close so we had each other."

Johnny hadn't set up a tree since he was a teenager. He'd enjoyed the DeSoto's, but it was usually already trimmed. Having a tree at his place seemed more of a fire hazard than anything else, so he had skipped it for years. Putting one up this year with JJ had been more fun than he'd anticipated. She had an artificial tree, which lacked the pine scent, but it actually looked better than he thought it might.

Johnny had even purchased a gift for her knowing she would not get one from a family member. Johnny gave JJ a LAFD shirt, and a large, framed photo of the ranch he had taken. JJ surprised Johnny a pencil/pen set for on all the paperwork he filled out as a captain and a funny plaque that said "Because I said so." They'd then watched the end of "It's a Wonderful Life" on television.

The next day, John picked up JJ and they drove to the DeSoto's about 10:30 am. She had purchased an ant farm and Battleship game for Chris and a Barbie VW camper plus new Barbie outfits for Jenny. For Roy and Joanne, she wrapped a craftsman made set of wind chimes for their newly completed patio. John had added to Chris's erector set and had purchased a small nurse's uniform for Jenny. JJ brought a salad and two pies to contribute to the dinner. Roy and Joanne had helped the kids make a bird feeder for JJ's back yard in LA and purchased a large bag of bird feed. She was touched by the effort and thought behind their gift. Birding was another way she dealt with writer's block. Joanne crafted a lovely lap quilt for JJ from her and Roy. It would be perfect for cool nights on a porch swing. She spent a relaxing day with the group and found she didn't feel drained or stressed. Time there was filled with laughter and joy and in those moments, JJ felt content. The kids were very sweet and she adored playing with them. All of the adults had multiple band aids all over their arms and with Nurse Jenny's assistance survived several 'illnesses'. Joanne, Roy and Johnny were relieved to see JJ enjoying herself. It wasn't until that evening, after Johnny dropped her off she found herself heavy with sadness over her dad.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: New Year = Changes**

As the new year began, Johnny thought he'd just take a break from dating. It wasn't like he hadn't tried. "Maybe I am trying too hard again," he thought. "Maybe I just need to let it happen." In any case, he was weary from the efforts. JJ presumed he wasn't asking for advice anymore because what they had discussed was working for him.

After the holidays, JJ had a few dates of her own. She had dinner with a fireman from Roy's station, visited the art museum with one of the volunteers at the soup kitchen, and a saw movie with a man from church. All of the outings had been enjoyable, but nothing long term came of any of them. There had been sporadic follow up dates, however JJ had not planned for them to lead anywhere.

Johnny often spent time with the DeSoto's children and found he sought them out more now. He ate lunch with one or the other at their school a couple of times and picked them up after school and took them for ice cream once a week. They helped fill the empty space. Time with Uncle Johnny was always well received.

Johnny's professional year started out with a near miss. The station had been called out to a collapsed trench rescue. Every precaution had been employed during the run. However, the saturated soil was unstable and one of his men had been briefly buried. It had been the longest 1 and one half minutes he'd ever spent while they'd dug him out. Eddie was fine, but Johnny had a new appreciation for all the times Captain Stanley had endured his many mishaps.

He was at work on his next shift, filling out reports and requisitions when the klaxon sounded. "Station 110, fire at warehouse, 2490 Industrial Road, cross street Stillman, time out 13:11." He responded, scribbled the address, handed it to Al and then took his place in the front seat of the engine. Eric nodded and pulled out of the station. Arriving first on scene, Johnny saw the fire leap out of the doorways and blown out windows. Already the heat from the fire was intense, just getting out of the engine caused Johnny to break into a sweat. "Ted, Eddie get an inch and a half and take the west side. Al, Richard take another inch and a half and take the front." Eric was already preparing the engine and hooking into the hydrant. A battalion chief showed up along with two other engines and took over coordinating the efforts. It took two hours to put out the blaze and clean up any hot spots before station 110 was able to head back to the station. They had all eaten a lot of smoke and had needed to take breaks to ward off heat exhaustion. Johnny hoped they would have a couple of hours without a call. As they pulled in, Johnny reminded Al and Richard to work on their call log. They groaned and Johnny smiled. The paramedic call log, he most certainly didn't miss filling out that. As he left Al and Richard were using rock/paper/scissors to decide who was stuck with the log.

The DeSoto's spent quite a bit of time out at the ranch. JJ gave them a key to the cabin. It made outings more convenient for the family. JJ had become quite attached to the DeSoto's and especially clicked with the children. She found herself adding a tether ball pole and swing to the ranch. It wasn't uncommon for the kids to seek her out if she was there. Roy and Joanne let her give horseback rides to the kids. Jenny would sit in front of JJ for her turn and Chris was allowed to ride on his own in the corral. Other favorite ways to spend their time with JJ were: frog hunting, playing hide and seek, improving their 'secret hideout' created inside a cluster of willows and games like "Mother May I?"

It seemed natural to Jenny and Chris to pair up their Uncle Johnny and friend Miss JJ for an extra fun outing. It was a way to thank Joanne and Roy for their friendship, Janey reasoned. They got some alone time now and again plus free babysitting. Besides, John was always enjoyable. At first the trips were for a couple hours to fly kites at the park, pick strawberries or cherries for pies, to supervise the children as they played with friends at the school yard or to get ice cream.

As time passed, John and JJ spent extended time with Chris and Jenny. Once John, JJ and the kids had spent the day at the zoo. The kids fed the farm animals and ducks. JJ made up stories about what the animals were thinking that matched their movements and body language. John joked she was more interesting than the animals. The kids had giggled when an older couple remarked on their lovely children and Uncle Johnny and Miss JJ just thanked them. They grilled burgers over at JJ's place for supper. Dudley had loved all the extra attention and the kids squealed with delight as they threw a paper ball and Duds would fetch it for them.

Another time, they spent a day at the ranch. John marked a trail for them to follow. They made plaster casts of animal tracks and 'helped' Uncle Johnny take photographs. They had skipped rocks on the pond. Chris and Jenny made pine cone and peanut butter birdseed feeders to hang at home. Dinner was pizza and milk. The day had ended with a fire by the pond and roasting marshmallows.

The kids had even slept over once with the girls in the cabin and the boys outside in a tent. They enjoyed a dinner of roasted hot dogs with s'mores for dessert. At bed time, they all squeezed into the porch swing and JJ read aloud to them from a book of short stories using different voices, much to their delight. After the kids were tucked in, they heard Uncle Johnny and Miss JJ talking and the rhythmic squeak of the swing. After a breakfast of donuts, milk, juice, and coffee the next morning, they'd ushered the kids home.

The latest outing had been a day at the beach on an unseasonably warm spring day. Shell hunting, castle building and chicken fights between JJ and John, each with a kid on their shoulders filled their day. Everyone had ended up wet and laughing. Later on, after the kids had been taken home, John and JJ had gone back to her house and tried out her telescope over a couple of beers. She'd found a decent telescope at a yard sale the week before. The city lights limited what they could see, but they still got a good view of several parts of the night sky. JJ ended up teasing John he was just using it to spy on her single female neighbors. He just grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

Johnny had been doggedly asking JJ to go climbing with him. She wasn't much of a risk taker and usually declined. Finally after several weeks of him asking, she agreed to go, but only if they climbed with equipment. Johnny was giddy with excitement. He loved to climb and even more he loved to teach others to climb. After consideration, he chose a moderately difficult climb for her first experience since there would be permanent bolts to use. He carefully checked all the equipment and packed it into the Rover the night before. They decided to start early to beat the heat. JJ wore a pair of durable jeans, boots and a thin shirt with long sleeves. She took along a sweatshirt to layer. They started out at 6 am and after a short drive arrived at the spot. John demonstrated how to gear up and JJ watched and imitated. It wasn't until he was tying the knots to her belt he realized she was trembling slightly. "Are you okay?" he inquired.

She nodded her head slowly. "Yeah, just nervous, I am not a fan of heights, you know, or falling. I know you are an expert at this so it's not that I don't trust you," she reassured him, "risk like this is pretty scary for me."

"We don't have to climb Janey if you don't want to," John told her. He began to wonder if he'd pushed her into something she didn't want to do.

"I know, I know" she said, "but sometimes you have to push outside your comfort zone, John. If I am going to try something like this, I'd rather do it with you, makes me feel safer." Johnny was startled by her comment and secretly pleased.

After the safety line was tied between them, Johnny started up first. This climb had some permanent bolts. As soon as he got to the second bolt and clipped in, JJ was to start up. She tucked gloves into her belt, rubbed chalk on her palms, took a deep breath and found a foot hold. Using her hands to pull up and wedging her feet into crevices she made her way to the first bolt and clipped in. John then moved up to the next bolt leaving one in between them. JJ would then climb up and clip off. They moved up the rock face stopping to allow her to rest or for John to give her instructions. About half way up, she allowed herself a look at the view. Breathtaking vistas on all sides thrilled her. By the time they reached the top and John pulled her up, she was having fun. She sat for a bit at the top, relishing the accomplishment and then flung her arms around John's neck and hugged him. JJ felt the warmth of his body through their clothes and the softness of his hair against her neck. Her heart sped up hammered against her chest. "I can't believe I just climbed up that," she said pulling back surprised at her reaction. "I'm glad you convinced me to try it. Though don't think I'll ever agree to free climb, you crazy man," she grinned at him. She was breathless and hoped John thought it was from the climb.

After a rest, Johnny explained the process of rappelling down. They would go down in tandem, on one rope. Rappelling was a bit trickier and he didn't want JJ losing footing and slamming into the cliff face. They both put on their gloves. JJ had be able to practice using her feet to brace herself against the cliff face on the way down. He had the arm strength to stop and allow her to regain bearings plus she didn't risk rope burns from too quick a descent. Getting back to the ground didn't take long. It meant a lot to Johnny that she trusted him enough to risk the climb. Her spontaneous embrace had taken him off guard and if truth be told he enjoyed it more than he admitted to himself.

Having Johnny close as they traveled back down was lovely. Clipped together, she had to put her arms around his neck and lean into him. She had enjoyed the closeness. JJ couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. She had no idea how many times Johnny had to refocus on rappelling. JJ leaning into him and the tickle of her breath on his neck and ear when she talked had been exceedingly distracting.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 Hide and Seek**

JJ had enjoyed the climb, more than she had intended to enjoy it. Too many feelings were dredged up, and she didn't like that at all. Anytime she began to feel a connection with a man, it happened. Then the whole neighbor debacle had pushed her over the edge. So she'd called Molly and asked for the time and place. She needed a boost, a boost and a break. John had called to see if she wanted to try another climb. This time he'd picked an easier one that she could rappel down on her own. "Whatcha think, Janey?"

She hesitated. "Not this time. I'll pass," she said evenly.

"What? You chickening out?" he teased. "Come on, you know you want to," Johnny wheedled.

That was the issue she thought, I do want to, but I need space. "John, not this time," she answered firmly.

Johnny was a bit surprised since JJ was almost always game. Plus she seemed off. "You okay?" he asked.

"Just fine, look I need to run. Bye." JJ hung up feeling both relieved and callous. She picked up her purse and checked the time. JJ would stop for a quick sandwich and then on to her appointment.

Johnny was stunned at her abrupt ending of the call. He huffed in exasperation, looked at the receiver and slowly hung up the phone. "What was that was about?" he thought.

She waved to Molly and got out of her car. They walked into the community center by the park together. It had been almost a year since JJ had attended. Probably should have never stopped, but she'd thought after three years it was over. She wondered if it ever would be and sighed. Molly asked, "You okay?"

"Not really," she answered. "That's why I'm here. She frowned. Molly opened the door and JJ went in first. Grabbing a cup of coffee she sat down noting many new faces. Crap she thought feeling compassion for the other ladies and knowing what they were going through Molly spoke up loudly, "Ladies, let's begin. Welcome to the Rape Survivor's Support Group."

Joanne was at the park with Jenny. They were getting into the station wagon when Joanne heard female voices and looked up. She spotted JJ and some other women. Joanne began to wave and call out to JJ and then stopped herself when she recognized one of the other women, Renee. It was one of the ladies in the bridge group Joanne sometimes attended. Joanne was only a sub, but at the last game she'd heard about Renee being raped and attending a support group. Joanne quickly ducked into the car. She frowned and when JJ's back was turned, she drove away thankful Jenny hadn't seen JJ.

Johnny was in his office supposedly filling out paperwork. He'd called three times since his invitation to climb and JJ hadn't answered. It had been almost a week. He was mostly bothered he'd somehow hurt her feelings. For the life of him he couldn't think of anything he'd done or said. Not that had ever stopped him from messing things up. Having an office meant he had a place to brood uninterrupted. He tried to push it from his mind and started again to work on his reports. But he picked up his mechanical pencil and it again reminded him of JJ's silence.

The klaxon sounded and as bad as the call might be, he was relieved to have something to occupy his thoughts besides the issue with JJ. The station was called to a grass fire at a school ground. It was a Saturday, and he was relieved to know school kids were not in danger. As they drove, Eric turned to his captain. "Cap, bet you it was starting by kids smoking around the building," he stated.

John snorted. "Only a fool would take that bet. See if Eddie will take it." They both chuckled.

Upon arriving, they found the playground grass partly blackened and still ablaze. Ted and Eddie quickly put out the fire. Johnny spied a young boy about 12 huddled over by the slide in an unburned area of grass. "Son, are you okay?" he asked as he approached. Then he saw the boy's arm, red with his long sleeve charred. "Al, Richard got a hurt boy over here," he called. "My name is Johnny," he said kneeling down, "What's yours?"

"Bobby, Bobby Johnson," the boy replied fearfully. "Am I in trouble?"

"You're hurt Bobby and I just need to find your mom or dad so we can get you fixed up," Johnny smiled reassuringly. The boy seemed to relax.

"I live at 1245 Slim Line Lane, apartment 17C," Bobby said.

As Al and Richard jogged up, Johnny backed away leaving them to treat the young boy and then went to let the officer know where they could find Bobby's parents. Ted walked up to his captain. "Cap, there are a couple of cigarettes over when the fire started. I left them there. Looks like that was the cause," Ted reported.

"Figures," Johnny answered. "Thanks Ted." His eyes strayed over to Eric and Eddie and he laughed out loud as he saw Eddie hand some cash to Eric. Poor Eddie, it was just too easy. He poked Ted in the ribs and gestured with his head toward the two others. Ted looked and laughed.

After three night runs, Johnny was exhausted. He got into his Rover determined to figure out what was wrong with JJ. If she wouldn't call back, he decided he'd just drop by her place. He wanted to check on her, and to understand why she was behaving so strangely. He wouldn't rest easy until he could solve the mystery. When John drove up he spied her light blue VW bug in the driveway. He knocked on her door, but the only answer was Dudley as he peered around the draperies in one of the front windows. Johnny walked around the house and let himself into the backyard through the gate. The squeak of the hinge announced his presence and JJ looked up from the flower bed she was weeding. The look on her face was a mixture of surprise and fear. It puzzled Johnny. "Hey Janey, just checking to see if you're still breathing," he joked awkwardly. "I've been trying to get a hold of you and was a bit worried when I couldn't."

She brushed her hands together to remove the dirt from her garden gloves and then pulled them off one at a time by tugging on the first finger of each glove. "Well, I'm fine, as you can see. I've been busy," she answered briskly. Although she was glad he cared, JJ's emotions were ragged and too close to the surface. She had no intention of explaining.

Her cool answer completely stunned Johnny. "Sure, I get it," John said a bit irritated. "You could have at least let me know that. I left messages. Friends do that, Janey."

"I was going to call today," she lied. "You just got here first. Look, just because I don't feel like climbing or don't call you right back doesn't mean anything. My goodness, John don't smother me,' she said crossly. As soon as she said it she was sorry, but keeping her secret had a stronger pull. The incident with the overly friendly male neighbor eight nights ago had rekindled all her insecurities stemming from the attack.

"Smother? Are you kidding me?" He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "How in the heck do you figure...?" he started to say and then stopped abruptly. "Fine, just fine," he said angrily his hands out in front of him in a stop gesture. Johnny turned and left.

As soon as she heard his Rover start and pull away, JJ started to cry, angry tears, fearful tears. She dropped her gloves on the lawn chair on the patio and retreated into her house.

Johnny went to his apartment. Hurt and upset he tried to figure out what the hell had happened. After a few hours of stewing, he'd called Roy. Sleep wasn't happening anytime soon. "Hey Roy, you got a place for a lonely bachelor?" he joked.

Roy answered, "Well, I certainly have a spare paint brush for you Johnny. If you do a good enough job maybe Joanne will feed you too."

He laughed, "I'll do my best. Be there in a bit. Thanks Roy."

"I can always use help on my honey do list," Roy answered.

Over a couple beers and numerous paint brushes full of paint, Johnny and Roy caught up on general news and finished most of the trim on the DeSoto's home. After a short lull in the conversation, Roy took a swig of his beer. "So what's really up, John?" he asked.

Johnny barked out a laugh. "No use pretending with you huh? Yeah well, I just had a weird thing happen with Janey." Johnny then explained the whole strange interaction from the second climbing invite to what had happened two hours ago. "I swear Roy I cannot figure out why she would think I have been smothering her. I talk to her about twice a week and we do something about once a week, some weeks not at all. Well, sometimes more if we watch a game on TV or something like that. Sometimes she calls _me_ beyond that, I guess."

Roy was quiet. He knew about what Joanne had seen a few days earlier, but it was only a guess what was up with her.. Plus, even if it was true he had no business telling anyone. It was JJ's call, if indeed it was true. He weighed his words carefully. "Johnny, it's hard to say what is going on. It does sound peculiar. She has been through a lot and well sometimes people say or do things when under duress they wouldn't normally. Give her some time. If things are still off, well we will think of something." He clapped Johnny on the shoulder. "Come on Junior, I need another beer."

Another miserable week passed. JJ went to another meeting and then spent time one on one with Molly. She knew she hadn't been fair to John and she knew she didn't want to come clean, wasn't ready to explain. Johnny arrived for his shifts that week in a funk. The men were noticed their normally outgoing captain was off. Eric was surprised at his captain's aloofness. When Richard played a harmless prank on hapless Eddie, Captain Gage had rebuked him harshly. Johnny knew he was overreacting and later apologized to Richard. He stayed late after several shifts that week to complete reports since they had had very busy shifts. He was disappointed when he didn't have work to keep him late after his last shift for the week. He decided to go climbing and stopped home long enough to grab his equipment and change his clothes. He returned home in a calmer state.

After her talk with Molly, JJ knew she needed to do something about her words with Johnny. According to the schedule Johnny had given her earlier in the month, he would be off tomorrow. She decided to call him in the morning. It was 9 am when she called. Johnny had been lounging in bed putting off getting up. The phone rang and he rolled over towards the phone. "Hello," Johnny said.

"John, it's JJ," she began contritely. "Look, I would really like to talk to you. I need to, well, it would be better in person."

Johnny was surprised and pleased she had called. "Uh, sure, okay." He was afraid to say anything more. "So, where?"

"Could you come here, to my house? Anytime today works," she offered.

"Yeah, okay. I was being lazy so I am not ready yet, in an hour?"

"Great, if you want you can eat here. I'll make you breakfast if you want," her voice trailed off.

"Coffee would be good. Lots of coffee," he answered.

"Sure, of course. I'll see you then," JJ said.

In just less than an hour, Johnny pulled up to her house. She'd left her front door open and when he knocked he heard her call to him to come in.

"Hey," she said greeting him with a mug of coffee.

"Thanks," Johnny said as he sat in the chair and she sank into the couch. "I'm glad you called." He took a drink of coffee and set the mug on a coaster on the coffee table.

"Me too," she admitted. "How have you been?"

"Not bad. Went for a climb after work yesterday," he said leaving out his foul mood all week.

They were quiet Johnny afraid to say much of anything and JJ hoping to put off what she knew she must do. JJ laughed, "Awkward silence, yeah so… I wanted to tell you I'm sorry. I was horrible to you that night. I have things that well are bothering me. Nothing to do with you really, stuff from my past. Not a good excuse to be hateful," JJ spilled it out almost in one breath.

Johnny's eyebrows went up. "Oh, I see. Things?"

"Things I don't want to talk about, but yeah things," JJ said looking away.

He looked thoughtful and then frowned slightly. He admittedly was curious about these 'things', but didn't press. "Well, I supposed we all have past things we'd rather not discuss." He thought of the racism he had to and continued to endure. "I was just so, well so…," he searched for the word.

JJ replied, "Uh upset, irate?" She leaned forward and put a hand on his arm, "Hurt?" "I feel terrible."

Johnny gave a half smile. "Yeah, those cover it."

JJ grimaced knowing it was true. "I didn't mean…it wasn't true."

John put his hand on hers reassuringly, "I get it. Apology accepted."

She smiled. "I made blueberry muffins. They're in the kitchen." JJ knew food was always a good idea with Johnny.

"Muffins! Well then we are all good," he joked with a grin.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 See Saw**

Novelists all over the country were coming to Southern California for a conference at Southern Cal U. JJ was invited to present a smaller session about being a new author and breaking into the business. That wasn't her issue. She knew working aspiring authors would be invigorating and stimulating, sharpening her own skills. Attending the banquet was the issue. It was a formal affair and bringing a date was best because it kept single guys from prowling. Unfortunately, she had learned the hard way that going alone to an event could have consequences. She was required to attend. She sighed and pondered her options. She could ask Bill, the fireman from Roy's shift or maybe Dan from church. However, neither man had called her recently. It seemed a bit self-serving, however tempted she might be, to call them. It gave her a headache to think about it so she pushed the problem from her mind for the time being.

Spending most of the morning working on her presentation, found her needing a break. She quickly changed into a pair of short terry cloth shorts and a tank top. The day was going to be a scorcher. Flipping on some tennis shoes, she grabbed her purse and jumped into her VW for the drive to the ranch. A short while later she drove up the drive and saw a white Rover already parked.

JJ hopped out and scanned for Johnny. She spotted him standing on the bank of the pond with his back to her. Since he did not turn around, he must not have heard her drive in. JJ walked toward the barn. She had ridden Hobo just yesterday, so she grabbed a bridle and a bareback pad. It would be less chaffing for her and cooler for Spirit. Skillfully she slipped the bit into Spirit's mouth, gently placed the pad on his back, fastening the cinch and then after a short wait, tightened it again. Spirit blew out a breath and followed her out of the stall into the yard. JJ placed her foot in the small stirrup and swung her leg over the horse's back, gathered the reins and turned Spirit north to the pond.

The rhythmic beat of Spirit's hooves turned Johnny's head. His face transformed into a sideways grin and he quickly reeled in his bait. "Janey! When did you get here?" He set his fishing rod against one of the split log benches and loped in her direction favoring one leg. JJ slowed Spirit from a canter to a trot and then to a walk halting a few feet from John. He angled in from the side and as he reached to stroke Spirit's neck the horse turned to nuzzle his hand. "Hey buddy," he crooned. John looked up and grinned, "Nice to be remembered."

JJ chuckled at him. "Spirit is especially fond of you. I just got here, needed a break. Hey, you're limping, what happened?"

"Aw, nothing much, I twisted a knee and sprained some ligaments last shift. I am on medical leave for three weeks and have to wear a brace. After that I will do some desk work for another three weeks while I do physical therapy and then can rejoin my station," John stated as if he was just reporting a headache.

"How in the heck did you do that?"

"Um, we were at a vehicle fire, a tanker, and it was about to blow. We all turned to run and take cover. One guy from another station didn't drop the hose and it was jerked taut as he fled. I caught a foot and fell twisting my knee, caught my turn out coat ablaze."

JJ quickly dismounted. "Johnny, I am glad you are okay! She grabbed him and hugged him tightly. "My goodness, I thought being captain was safer." John just shrugged and grinned. She punched him in the arm.

"Ow, why'd you do that?"

"Be more careful! I need all my friends in one piece," she said her irritation softening to concern. Her hand stroked his arm where she'd punched him briefly.

"Yeah, yeah, I guess I need to worry more about your punches than injuries," he teased. "You are having problems with your book? That why you need a break?" John asked.

"Well, no. I am presenting at a conference and I am done with that presentation. The book is going great. It's the banquet at the conference."

"Okay, why? That should be fun, right?"

"You'd think so. However sometimes going alone can be a problem. Single guys can get, well pushy," she explained. Fear welled up thinking about that time…

"Well, brush them off," he replied casually, "Or punch 'em in the arm." He grinned.

"Being a single woman can be intimidating," she explained obviously nervous. "Some guys can be, uh, _forceful_. Thing is I am not dating anyone now," she admitted, "so I guess I have to go alone."

Johnny was a bit surprised at her word choices. JJ usually picked just the word she meant to convey her meaning. "Doesn't have to be a 'date' date Janey just a guy to go as your date, right? When is this banquet?" John inquired. "If it is within the next six weeks I could go, I mean if you wanted. I'll work daytime hours on the desk job. I could keep the creepers away," he grinned and winked, "but no dancing." He pointed to his knee.

JJ considered what he proposed. "I'd feel like I was taking advantage…" she began.

"Oooo, taking advantage of _me_? Um, okay sure, advantage away," John purred waggling his eyebrows suggestively, clowning around.

JJ's pulse quickened and she swallowed. "Har, har in your dreams, Casanova!" she shot back. Johnny feigned a 'who me' look and then cracked a smile. "No, but really, I don't want to ask too much."

"Hey, what are friends for, right?" he answered with a shrug. JJ felt a little let down and foolish for thinking John might be flirting.

"Thanks John, I would appreciate it. It is suit and tie affair. That work?"

"Yep, I just need the date and time to pick you up," John replied.

She gave him the date and time to be at her house, the banquet being in four weeks.

"Far out," he replied with a grin.

John arrived at JJ's on the appointed Friday, dressed in his black suit, shoes shined and parked his jeep in her drive. He grabbed the bouquet of sunflowers from the passenger seat, closed his door and bounded up to her porch. He rang the bell and found himself restless. Hearing a click, John looked up to an opening door. 'Come in John, you look fantastic, as always," she said motioning for him to come in. Her hair was partly swept up showing her neck and as his feet moved without thought, his eyes swept down her bare skin to the floral halter dress sprinkled with sequins. The skirt stopped high up on her legs. "Wow," John muttered. Then audibly, "These are for you," he told her handing her the flowers.

"They are lovely, thanks John. I'll put them in water. Have a seat." She turned to take the flowers into her kitchen and John was glad he had a reason to sit. Her entire back was bare from the knot at her neck down to just above her backside. He slumped onto the sofa. Suddenly he saw why she might have to ward the single men off. You are so, so in trouble Gage, he inwardly moaned.

JJ came back in and sat by John. She caught a whiff of his cologne, light and spicy. "Man, Gage, you clean up nicely. Maybe it will be me beating off the single ladies for you. Hot stuff!" she winked and he blushed a bit.

"Yeah, with that dress, I don't think so," he recovered flashing his killer smile. "That is _some_ dress." He'd always known JJ was attractive, but tonight she was striking. The color of the dress, how well it fit, her hair it had all come together.

She felt daring in the dress and had hotly debated whether or not she should buy it. Molly had told her that she needed to embrace her womanliness. The rape had been about power, not anything she did or didn't do. So JJ had tried to act on what Molly suggested. "Bought it just for this occasion, she began, "I guess after rock climbing I am getting more daring." JJ felt a bit self-conscious and looked away. She looked at her watch, "Oh look at the time, we best be on our way," and she got up and turned to pick up her clutch. John stepped up behind her and placed a hand on her back steering her out the door and to his Rover. Both were acutely aware of his hand on her skin, but John didn't remove his hand and JJ didn't move away. Johnny opened the door for her and she slid into the seat. "Thanks," she said and he shut her door. Johnny got in and started the vehicle. He backed out and headed to the banquet venue. He dropped JJ off and then parked in a parking garage, locked his jeep and walked back to meet JJ. She was standing up against the building. When she saw Johnny she walked towards him and waved so he saw her.

Johnny smiled and offered his arm. "Shall we go in?" JJ looped her arm in his and then entered the hotel. A large sign on an easel pointed them to the event. They both were asked to put on those stick on name tags since JJ was a presenter. They had reserved seats and found them after a short search. Johnny spotted the open bar and turned to JJ, "Janey can I get you a drink?" he asked.

"Please, I'll take a white wine," she replied. Johnny walked over and got himself a beer and her drink. By the time he returned, several others who were sharing the table had arrived.

The banquet food was good and the speeches short. Both JJ and Johnny drew attention from the opposite sex, but neither had to fend anyone one off. Due mostly to the couple vibe they unwittingly projected. He stayed close to her. If they were standing, he had his hand loosely around her waist or was close enough their sides brushed against each other. JJ found it both comforting and pleasantly distracting. John was enjoying the reason to be close to her, but also took his role to keep 'creepers' away seriously. He had sensed something ominous when JJ had expressed her worry about attending alone. During the cocktail hour and again at dinner, she was delighted with John's ability to sit back and listen to others discuss writing, interjecting occasional lucid comments about characterization or plot twists from the wide variety of books he had read or asking relevant questions. He had been a good dinner companion and attentive 'date'.

Johnny and JJ walked to the rover and he drove her home. John had to be careful to drink little since he would drive home from JJ's. She had not over indulged, but had a slight buzz from the glasses of wine she drank after dinner. "I am glad you suggested this John. It was really fun. You were a great 'non-date' date," she teased. He offered his hand as she got out of the jeep. She wobbled a bit as they crossed the lawn and John caught her around the waist. "Oops, sorry, stupid shoes, I am not used to heels this high, really." She tittered.

"Careful there," John cautioned amused at her silliness. She was usually more demure.

She rested against him as they finished crossing the lawn. "Ummm," she murmured, "You smell so nice." Johnny felt his heart speed up. JJ wasn't really herself, not after those glasses of wine, he supposed. Gently he helped her to the door, and saw her safely inside.

"It was fun Janey." He hugged her warmly but briefly. "Nite," he flashed his crooked smile and felt a flush rush up his body. John turned and left before he made a fool of himself. All the way home he mentally debated to convince himself it had just been a night between friends.

A two weeks later, John and 'guest' received an invite to an engagement party for one of the men on another shift at his station. It was to be held at a hall and would entail canapes, an open bar and dancing. Going alone was probable since he had no girlfriend, steady or otherwise. However, he knew most of the people invited were either married or had steady girlfriends. He hated being a 'third wheel', it was a drag, and wondered if JJ might go with him just as a friend. John and JJ always had fun and he thought she'd mentioned she liked dancing in conversations. Even if she didn't, maybe they could make an appearance for an hour and a half and then split. It was a casual dress up affair. He hesitated calling her to ask since it was imposing.

After sleeping on the idea, Johnny decided to ask her if she might tag along, as a friend. He would give her plenty of ways to bow out gracefully. He really, really didn't want to attend alone. He called her mid-morning, hoping she was still in LA at her home.

JJ answered her phone and smiled into the receiver when she heard John's voice. "Hi John, what's up?" she asked.

"Oh, the usual," he replied, "Well, the usual except for one thing. I got this invite to an engagement party for a guy at my station. I really should go and kind of want to go, but well I am in the boat you were in. I have no one I am dating."

JJ paused. "Yeah, I understand that scene," she answered vaguely unsure of exactly what he was getting at.

"Yeah, so I didn't know what you had planned for this coming Saturday evening. You probably have stuff lined up and all, or maybe you just would rather not, but I wondered if you might come with me. As a friend, kinda like with the banquet deal." Johnny cringed at the lameness of what he had asked. "Jeez, that sounds…well it didn't come out quite right."

JJ laughed. "I think I get what you are saying. You would like to go and should at least make an appearance. However, it is so uncomfortable going alone and going together worked well at the banquet. Plus, as a bonus, I am charming company." Johnny could imagine her impish grin when she said the last part. "What time is this shindig, John?"

"Starts at 7:30 pm, Janey and goes until whenever. Apparently the dress is nice casual clothes. So you in?"

"Yeah, sounds fun. You pick me up 7:15ish? We can be fashionably late, okay?"

"Great, I'll see you then. I have a gift, so that is covered."

"See you Saturday."

He was at her house at 7:01 pm on Saturday. He noted Dudley sitting on the window ledge inside as if he was looking for John. He rang JJ's door bell. After a short wait, she opened the door and invited him in. She was still in a robe, but her make-up was applied and hair freshly brushed, hanging loose, just past her shoulders. "I just have to slip on my dress and shoes. I should be ready in less than 5 minutes." She suggested he could sit down on the couch if he wanted and then dashed off to finish getting ready. In a minute, she was back out carrying her wedge heels. Floral jersey draped her frame. The front of the dress was high necked. When she turned to lean on the wall to slip on her heels he could see the low back of her sundress and the thin strap that tied in the back to prevent the sides from gapping. JJ stood up and smoothed the short skirt of the dress. She grabbed a crocheted shawl and put it over her shoulders. "Sorry for the wait, I'm ready."

"You look amazing," John remarked. His eyes slowly moved over her frame in appreciation.

She looked down, bashful. "Thanks. I made a friend in the fashion business while in New York and she passes along a few things to me once or twice a year. This is new. She looked up, self-conscientious. JJ took in John's appearance. She had been preoccupied before with running late. He wore dark green corduroys, a paisley print shirt and a dark brown leather jacket that pulled it all together. The colors accented his dark coloring, black hair and brown eyes. The entire effect was striking. "_Very_ foxy John Gage," JJ complimented as she looked him over. John actually blushed.

"Thanks," he mumbled awkwardly.

They stayed at the party until well after midnight. John's gift of a picnic basket set up for two was a hit. John was very careful to keep her in the conversation since she knew no one at the party. He introduced her to several wives that drew her into a conversation and made her feel welcome. She appreciated his efforts. She especially enjoyed his frank and humorous assessments of several of the guests as they had sat apart from the group. John lost count of the number of dances he had with JJ, remembering only how much he enjoyed them. JJ found herself acutely aware of the charms of the fetching fire captain.

John returned her home before 2 am and walked her up to her lighted porch. "Does Dudley ever move?" John quipped when he noted the cat was still on the window ledge.

Giggling JJ answered, "As little as possible, I think. Thanks for asking me tonight. I enjoyed myself." She had fished out her key as they walked from the Rover.

"Thank you for coming. I know groups of people aren't your favorite thing especially when you don't know them." On an impulse, John bent over and kissed her on the cheek.

JJ recovered her scattered wits, "Nite Captain." She was exhausted from all the people, but, she decided, it had been worth the strain.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: Interference**

JJ felt unnerved. She had developed romantic feelings for John. She valued spending time with him. He made her laugh and gave her courage and confidence. However, she had only a few friends in California or anywhere for that matter, so she'd chosen to try to push her feelings to the side and just be content. It was obvious to her John thought of her as a friend and nothing more. She accepted that and did not want to jeopardize their friendship. The day at the beach and then back at her place had flustered her. The day of climbing hadn't helped her confusion. The night at the banquet and then the party, well those had just been the icing on the cake. Add in her past 'thing' and she was more than unsettled.

One afternoon, a little over a week after the banquet and party, Roy came out alone to fish a bit after a particularly tough shift as captain. His crew had a call for a wreck where they had rescued a child. The young boy had lost an arm due to severe injuries. Another run was a trash fire that left a young girl with burns all over her trunk, arms and upper legs. The final straw was when the squad had responded to an overdose call. A child had gotten into her father's Valium. The toddler had died on the way to the hospital. Even though Roy hadn't been on that run, he still felt the loss through the dejected posture of his paramedics when they returned to the station. His mood was low and black and Roy needed some time to decompress before going home. He didn't want to bring that vibe to his home.

JJ saw him drive in and after finishing the pages she needed to write, she put away her writing, covered her typewriter and decided to walk towards the pond. JJ found Roy casting with a jig. "They biting, Roy?"

"Hey JJ! Not yet, but I am hopeful. You come down to fish too?" He smiled weakly and motioned her over.

"Not this time, but if you don't mind I might sit and watch. I'll be quiet. I'd just like to have a bit of company. Even though I like my alone time, sometimes it's nice to just share a space." JJ looked up to see Roy's reaction, not wanting to intrude.

He said, "I hear you. Alone time or quiet time is hard to come by at my house," he joked. "I won't be much company today. I came here to shake off a bad day before heading home, but you can stay if you want."

"No pressure, I'll forgive you THIS time," JJ teased. Roy laughed in response.

They settled into a comfortable silence for quite a while. Roy noticed JJ seemed different, a bit blue. Roy asked, "How are you JJ? It's been over six months since…your dad. It can be a rough time. People assume the grief is gone by now and forget to ask. How are you holding up?"

JJ shrugged. "Some days seem normal enough and others are unbearable. A regular roller coaster, you know. John still comes by and I appreciate his visits. I have really loved being with your kids. They are such a joy to be with. You and Joanne have done a fabulous job." Roy dipped his head and smiled at the praise. "John recently convinced me try an intermediate cliff with climbing equipment. Was a terrific experience, but I won't free climb no matter how he coaxes though. I feel brave enough just doing so with equipment." JJ smiled. "Shoot, I would have never been bold enough to try it before John. I preferred to spend time with my characters. Safer, you know," she chuckled. "Your day was pretty bad, huh?" she stated.

"Yeah, lots of kids, bad injuries and one death. It's hard to take," he said briefly. After working in oncology she understood what he was getting at so she dropped it.

Roy was quiet. JJ figured he needed silence, and he did. However, he was thinking too. He had detected that JJ appeared to really like Johnny, liked him more than she tried to show. In fact, to hear his kids' descriptions of the outings, he was surprised they weren't a couple yet. Jenny and Chris were oblivious to the undercurrents, but what they shared told the story pretty plainly. He and Joanne had talked about it a couple of times after the kids were asleep. He wondered why Johnny had never asked JJ out, but figured it was none of his business. Roy didn't like to meddle, but after what he heard about the beach day from the kids, the insight John had shared about relationships, JJ's dress from the banquet, and now his intuition about JJ today, well he decided to jump in. He was tired of holding his peace and weary of his friends being unhappy. Here was one situation he might be able to better. JJ was usually an upfront type of lady, so he just laid it out bluntly. "Uh, JJ, why haven't you ever told Johnny you like him?"

"I've told him I like him. We _are_ friends after all," she retorted sharply even though she knew what Roy really meant.

"JJ, you know darn well what I mean," he said exasperated. "It's still a mystery to me why you dance around it. Obviously Johnny likes you too, more than…..." his voice trailed off. There was a pause in the conversation.

"So he has told you that?" JJ ventured.

"Well not in so many words, but the only other women Johnny has ever hung around for this long are Dixie and Joanne. He loves them, adores them. There must be more with you too. Anyway, Johnny doesn't hide his feelings about others very well," Roy insisted.

JJ looked away. "Oh I see. Maybe I do like him more than a friend. But, I think you may be mistaken about John. He cares of course, but more like a brother/sister thing," her voice trailed off and she was quiet for spell. "Well, I appreciate you letting me invade your solitude. I probably need to head back to the house and tend the horses." She rose to get up and Roy reached over to grasp her arm.

"JJ, I didn't mean…well, I just….." he stammered. His face was full of sadness.

JJ patted his hand. "I know, I know." She hugged him tightly and being fair skinned he blushed. "You and Joanne have been great. John is a wonderful man. But, I have only a few friends and want to keep them, Roy. Even back East, I only had a handful of friends. I only keep in touch regularly with Elaine now. So you see…." Her eyes were wet and betrayed her fear not only of losing a friend, but having to share the things from her past. She turned and walked to the barn alone. Now Roy understood, but he believed JJ had misinterpreted Johnny's feelings. He also wondered if what Joanne had seen was true and how it might figure in. Roy knew Johnny wasn't dating anyone and hadn't for a long while. Well not officially he thought with a wry smile.

Johnny showed up at the ranch about 45 minutes later, grabbed his fishing pole and bait from the back of his jeep and half ran to the pond as he whistled. He was surprised to see Roy, who was just releasing a fish and then stopped to wave a greeting to his friend. "Johnny, you old rascal, what brings you here?"

"Well pally, nothing like wetting a line to end a day, don't cha' think?" He was in a happy mood and obviously had had a good shift; both men were captains on the same shift at different stations. John frowned. "You okay Roy?" he asked suddenly seeing Roy's more subdued mood.

"Rough shift, kid lost an arm, kid burned and one died from accidental overdose, and it wrings me out, Johnny."

Johnny just nodded since he knew exactly what Roy meant. He patted Roy on the back. "So, what's biting my friend?"

Roy decided to ease into the subject. He already had intruded and now things were stirred up so he might as well go all in. "Oh mostly bass I guess, but I am just using lures. I probably won't stay as long as you. I have been here for a while already. Just saw JJ. She stopped for a bit to visit. Just headed back to the horses, I believe." Roy ventured a peek at John looking for any reaction.

John raised one eyebrow. "Oh I missed her? Nuts." A shadow of disappointment flickered across Johnny's face. "Well, I'll catch her later, maybe. She often rides after supper and brings Hobo down here for a drink on the way out. That Hobo is a card. He has quite a sense of humor, that horse. I usually ride Spirit, the buckskin, if I ride." Johnny then launched into a tale of how Hobo managed to steal carrots out his back pocket the last time he rode with Janey. Roy listened quietly. Quite a bit of the story was about how Janey acted or what Janey said and did and it always sounded funny or favorable. After the story, Johnny fell quiet for a while. Then he added, "Well, if I don't see her I'll make a point to see her tomorrow and check on her." And then Roy saw it-the tell, a signature John Gage move…. Johnny rubbed his hands together before reaching for his hook and the bait. It was the move he used to indicate he was on the right track or that he was in pursuit of a girl.

"Uh huh," he thought. "I was right. He does feel more. Now how do I deal with it?" Roy went with the easy way, he just smiled. He let the conversation stop for a bit. Then he dangled the bait for a completely different type of fishing. "Johnny, the kids told me you, JJ and they had a great time at the beach."

Johnny smiled widely, "Yeah that was a blast. Girls against boys in a chicken fight. Janey and Jenny faked an injury right after we began and when I went to check, they clobbered Chris and me, knocked us both into the water. We claimed they cheated, but they just laughed and chanted, "Victory!" Johnny's eyes flashed with competition and amusement . Johnny bent forward and lowered his voice like he was telling a secret battle plan. "So Chris and I faked to the left, acted like we gave in, doubled back and dunked them both. We called a tie." His eyes crinkled at the corners. "It was hot enough, so getting wet was good. Janey and Jenny were good sports about it all. Well, after Janey stuffed a wad of seaweed down the back of my t-shirt, that is." Johnny went on talking about how they looked for shells and worked to build a sand castle. Then Janey showed Chris and Jenny how to toss bread up in the air for the sea gulls and when they dive bombed her, she ran and hid behind him so he got pecked. He 'acted' insulted, but his eyes sparkled and showed he saw the humor. It was such an obvious example of "luv" it was all Roy could do to not roll his eyes and groan. However, Johnny hadn't thrown enough of a bone for Roy to pick up. It was when he began to relate what they did after dropping off the two kids that Roy began to have hope. "Janey had found a steal on a fairly decent telescope at a garage sale and wanted to try it out. City lights around her place kinda made serious star gazing out of the question, but we did see the moon and got a fair look at the Milky Way. The lenses aren't great, but they worked." He stopped short of telling about the way Janey teased him about peering at her single neighbors through their windows and just smiled goofily at that memory.

Jeez, thought Roy. How can he not get it? Roy remarked, "Yeah, JJ is pretty special. Joanne and I really like her a lot. She is pretty easy to be with." He still couldn't figure a way to bring up the subject. If he went with a direct approach, Johnny would dodge it. It was always better to have Johnny think he thought of something.

"Yeah, pretty special….." John echoed. He paused, thought of the banquet and party; the conflicting feelings he had felt. He quickly pushed the thoughts aside as aberrant then said, "Hey Roy, you know when we talked about Rachel and all?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well, I kinda left out something. Ur, it was really Janey's thought, idea… I mean she brought it up once when we were talking."  
No way was Roy going to give him the easy way out now. "Her idea?" He pretended to not understand.

"Yeah, we had been horseback riding and then she asked about Rachel and how it was going about the time things were fizzling out, and well one thing led to another. She was the one that started me thinking about why and how you date… been giving me advice about dating and the like. Guess it seemed dishonest not admit it to you and plus we are best friends and all, right?" He was chewing on his thumb nail, a sure sign of uneasiness.

"Sure, Junior. Uh so what did she actually say? About the idea, I mean." Roy was beginning to think he might get somewhere.

"Well, you know Rachel and me… I broke it off since we didn't have much in common. I was telling about how I tried to impress Rachel by letting her chose the movie-woman's lib and all. Janey asked me why I felt I needed to impress on a date, nicely of course. It was just like she was curious or something. That's when she brought up the whole idea that dating was about spending time together and not impressing each other. I mean I knew that but I didn't KNOW it. You know?"

Roy's head hurt a bit after the last comment. "Uh huh," seemed to be a benign answer. "So you spend time with a woman you like and do things together you both like when you date? Yeah, that sounds right. Working to impress others just leads to falseness and problems. I'd say I'd agree, Junior."

"So you didn't try to impress Joanne when you dated, Roy?" John asked surprised.

"Oh yeah, I TRIED and usually it backfired. Finally figured out she went out with me because she liked ME not for my ability, or lack thereof, to impress her, took a few bad incidents to get that through my thick skull!" Roy shook his head as he remembered the disasters. "Good thing Joanne loved me," Roy joked and then grinned.

John gave a half smile back then frowned as he thought. "You know Roy, I DO spend a lot of time with Janey…. doing things we like…it is fun…" _FINALLY_ thought Roy, man is he dense! Roy just raised his eyebrows and furrowed his brow like he was one step behind Johnny's thinking.

"Yeah….?" Roy tried to look like he was still confused about what Johnny meant. He could hardly contain himself.

"Huh….." John ran his hand through his hair. "Huh, I never thought of it that way." Johnny looked perplexed and rubbed his chin. And Roy…well he looked relieved. Roy checked his watch and told Johnny he needed to head home. It was no coincidence Roy's mood was much better and it wasn't the fishing that had improved it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Peppermint Goes Great with Chocolate **

The next day Johnny ruminated on what he and Roy had discussed. He had seen JJ the night before at the pond and they did talk for a bit. Johnny noticed she seemed distracted and distant. Of course it was over 6 months since her dad's death and often those kinds of events come back around to bother you more about then. Still he wondered if she was okay or not. He had told her that night more about his own loss of his family when he was just a boy hoping she might open up, but stopped short of telling her about his American Indian background. She'd been very sweet about it and even cried a bit about his loss, which was a surprise. Felt kinda nice too he had to admit for her to empathize with him. She hugged him tightly and told him it helped, him sharing, made her feel less alone. John noticed his heart raced when she hugged him and the light floral perfume she wore.

Finally after an entire day off of thinking and pondering it all, he found he had no more clarity than when he began. He finally owned up to the attraction he felt to JJ the past weeks. It all came down to a risk, he reasoned-the risk of bringing up the subject of a date to JJ. He DID care about her a lot, a whole lot. He wasn't ready to admit the 'L' word yet. She was great to be with and liked a lot of the things he liked. She was fine with him having pass times he liked and she didn't; even encouraged him to pursue them. She had interests she did without him as well. They had more interests in common than not, however. She seemed to enjoy him and didn't try to 'change' him all the time—well maybe about slowing down when he ate, taking smaller bites and that was probably…, no that WAS reasonable. But even then, it wasn't in a shrewish manner. She was okay with him being a fireman-well as okay as women get about that sort of thing he guessed. She was pretty….. stunning eyes, …come to think of it she was very pretty and shapely, she was clever and witty and…sheesh Gage, he thought, you are an absolute idiot, and he blushed. Six plus months of time, talk and asking dating advice (_oh brother_) and you _just _now figured it out. JJ didn't use pretense. She tended to show up in clothes to muck stalls and do outside work because, well when he saw her that is what she was doing. On those times with the DeSoto children she had worn jeans or a simple dress and at the beach she sported that purple one piece swimsuit; yeah that was pretty hot. So, John was back pretty much where he started except for the fact that he had figured out he liked JJ a lot—a lot more than just a buddy AND he definitely thought of her as a woman, not at all like a "Roy".

That night he decided on a whim to drive to her house in LA. She was usually there by dark and he had an urge to see her so he spontaneously grabbed his wallet and keys and drove to her house. He could see the windows of her den glowing and wondered if she were reading or writing tonight. He remembered she had said she'd finished all her revisions for her second novel, so he guessed she was reading something. JJ had said as soon as she finished a novel, she dug into stack of books by other authors she wanted to read. He saw Dudley on the window sill looking out into the dark and wondered what Dudley was watching. John pulled up into her drive, took a deep breath and got out of the car. He hadn't felt this nervous in months. His heart was pounding and he felt his hands become sweaty. "Gage, Gage, calm down buddy", he said to himself as he walked up wiping his palms on the side of his jeans. He was startled when the door opened before he knocked. There stood JJ, in her pink chenille robe and bare feet smiling at the door.

"John! What a surprise! I was just reading and heard you drive up," she exclaimed. She tugged at the collar of her robe self-consciously. "Sorry I am not in the best state to receive gentlemen callers," she drawled in a horrible attempt at a southern accent.

His heart jumped into his throat, but when he saw her grin mischievously he stopped himself from blurting out "how did you know why I came?"

With a flourish she gestured him in and he walked carefully behind her so as to not step on the slinking Dudley as he wound himself around John's legs in greeting. "What brings you here John?" she called backwards as they walked into her living room. They both stood awkwardly.

John thought, here goes. "Well I was thinking about you and wondered if you wanted to get some ice cream or something? But well maybe you are ready to turn in? I shoulda called…" He shifted from one foot to the other and tugged at his shirt.

She tilted her head to the side and wondered why John seemed nervous. "Naw, I had been weeding outside and after taking a quick rinse in the shower I was just too lazy to get redressed." She leaned in, placed a hand on arm and whispered into his ear, "Don't tell anyone. It will ruin my image." She smiled at him.

John relaxed a bit and smiled at the jest. He leaned close to her face and looked into her eyes. Then whispered back, "I'll never tell," and winked.

JJ's heart did a flip. "Uh have a seat, John. You want anything?" They both sat on the couch with space between them. JJ checked her robe covered her legs and nervously smoothed it over her knees.

"Just to go get ice cream or something," he paused, "with you…," he flashed his famous crooked smile at her.

JJ just laughed. "Do you EVER get full?"

John acted as if he were thinking seriously about her question and then quipped, "Nope, I don't think so." Then she noticed it. His tell—the rubbing of his hands together. Now _her_ heart had stopped. This visit WAS different. She felt a strange mixture of excitement and, and, panic. "So what do you think?" He looked so hopeful.

JJ stood up abruptly and started for her bedroom. "Just a minute and I'll be right back," she said over her shoulder. She closed her door and leaned against it. OH MY WORD! He was here to 'take her out'. That hand rub he only did it when he talked about dates, women, or planned a way to seek revenge on Chet. It was his "now we're cooking" move. How many times had she noted it over the past months? She frantically pulled open her closet and slid hanger after hanger from one side of the closet to the other. What would she wear? This? No. This? No. Her hair! Make-up? She was completely in a panic. Stop it JJ, now quit. She took three deep breaths and closed her eyes. Okay, ice cream equals jeans. She did have that one pair that fit really nicely. She pulled them off the hanger. He had remarked he liked the yellow peasant blouse and it was clean. Uhmm, she thought white sandals and her belt. She slipped on the clothes and then took a look in the mirror. Her hair looked fine. It only needed a comb run through it. JJ remembered John preferred hair down and left that way. She brushed her teeth, and then applied a little eye shadow, blush and mascara. She added a light mist of perfume. The final touch was a light lipstick. Done in 10 minutes, not too long of a wait. One quick check in the mirror and then she forced herself to walk out calmly. "Ready."

John looked up from petting Duds and stopped mid stroke. The smile dissolved from his face and he swallowed once. "You look incredible, Janey," he said as his brown eyes wandered over her form.

"Thanks." She picked up her jean purse from the table by the door.

John walked to open the door, but stopped, slowly leaned towards her and placed one arm out against the wall blocking her exit. She froze and wondered what he had in mind. "Uh, Janey, I do want to make one thing clear, okay? I came here tonight because I wanted to see _you_. Ice cream was really just a ploy…" His face was serious and she looked up to meet his gaze.

"Okay. It's clear. So you came to see me…because…" she said evenly.

"Because I love spending time with you and want to spend more time _together_." He smiled and JJ blushed.

"Well, that is fortunate because I kinda hoped that was the reason," she answered laying her hand on his arm. Johnny reluctantly pulled away and opened the door. They strolled to the jeep and he opened the door for her.

"Just a little fuss, okay?" John asked teasingly wondering if she remembered the conversation.

"Yep, fussing can be a good thing," she quipped back and he knew she did. The smile and look she gave made John suddenly feel warm. He whistled as he closed her door and walked to the driver's side. They both clicked on their seat belts, John started the Rover and backed out of the drive.

John asked her where she wanted to get ice cream, and they decided on hard packed ice cream. John ordered rocky road and after a short deliberation JJ got peppermint. They sat in the jeep outside of the store with the windows down and ate. Between bites John started talking. "I feel pretty dense just now figuring out I had been seeing the woman I was searching for while I pumped her for dating advice, dang embarrassing actually." He wouldn't meet her gaze.

"Well, it's not like I was sending any clear signals and anyway I just figured it out a little bit ago myself. I'd say we are quite a pair." She dipped her head down to make eye contact and hoped she'd relieved the tension.

John snorted. "Yeah, quite a Don Juan I turned out to be…..clueless more like. And blind. I'll bet Roy has known all along." He suddenly frowned.

JJ looked up from her cone surprised and added, "Actually he had noticed and probably Joanne too," she added reluctantly. "He brought it up to me yesterday at the pond. " Her face twisted in chagrin. She then reached over and swiped a bit of chocolate ice cream off John's chin with her thumb and absently put her thumb in her mouth. "Had some on your face…"

"Too bad you don't," he said flirting. Her chest grew tight and she was also sorry she didn't.

They had long since finished their ice cream, had taken a bit of a meandering drive around LA, and ended up driving back to her house. The couple sat in the jeep talking. The rest of the conversation was about what they might want to do the next day. They decided to hike on a fairly easy trail and look for some good spots to take photographs. JJ had brought up the idea of doing a children's book with Johnny using his photographs a few weeks ago, but a plot was not yet decided upon. The tossed a few ideas around, but nothing seemed like a good theme. Johnny checked his watch and was surprised to see it was already 1:30 a.m. The shock showed on his face.

"What? Is it late?" JJ pulled his arm over and using the street lamp light saw the time, "Already?" She smiled and added, "Times flies when you're having fun, huh?" She released his arm.

"Guess I need to get home, Janey," Johnny said. JJ nodded in agreement and slid over to open the passenger door. By the time she had opened the door Johnny had gotten out and was offering his hand to help her out. "My lady," he said formally.

She just smiled at his silliness and played along. She held out her hand and tried to rise up out of her seat with a royal air. They both snickered since she almost tripped. "Just call me Grace," JJ added. They held hands up to the door gently swinging their arms and she fished out her key to open the door with one hand. "This was a terrific idea John. I had a great time," she said looking down at first and up to meet his gaze. They looked at each other for what seemed like a long time. John reached out and gently cradled her chin in one hand.

He had a crooked grin and his eyes were gentle. "Best time I've had...," his voice trailed off and his crooked grin faded. "Gonna break your rule..," he murmured. He bent down and pressed his lips to hers tentatively, gently. She slid her arms up to the back of his head and touched his hair. They kissed sweetly and JJ gave a quiet sigh. As he pulled back, John smiled his lady killer smile, his eyes sparkling with mischief and remarked, "Mmm peppermint…. goes awfully well with chocolate."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: The Fireman starts a Fire**

They both were up by 5:30 a.m. the next morning, neither able to sleep anymore the anticipation of the day on their minds. They had made plans yesterday evening for a day long outing. Johnny swung by to pick up JJ at 8:00 a.m. They were on the road and heading to the trail head within just a few minutes. Johnny had been telling her about a few places along the trail that were especially good for photos. She knew only a little about a camera as specialized as his and began to ask questions about the different features. That took up about 30 minutes of the drive. After that, JJ tuned the radio to a station that was playing "Ventura Highway". She hummed along singing parts of it. John just smiled, but didn't subject her to his singing. The thought made him guffaw aloud.

"What? You're laughing at my singing, Captain?" She feigned a look of hurt on her face.

"Nope, just mine. Actually I am enjoying yours. You aren't half bad you know."

JJ knew she could carry a tune, maybe sing at church, but was no Janis Ian. "Thanks, but you realize I can be bad…." She smiled wickedly.

Johnny's mouth opened, closed and opened again a bit taken back by the sudden turn in the conversation. JJ flirting was new. He liked it. He chuckled, "Really?" and raised one eyebrow provocatively.

JJ just smugly nodded and went back to singing with the radio. Johnny thought, this could be an interesting date.

Arriving at the trail head, they hopped out and grabbed the small pack with lunch, the canteens, supplies and John's camera. They started out Johnny leading the way. Pretty soon he felt a small object hit his back. When he turned JJ was looking off to the right examining a flowering plant. Not long afterward he felt it again and decided not to react. When it happened for the third time, he smirked and stopped to "retie" his boot lace. As he squatted down he spied a smallish pine cone right behind him on an otherwise bare trail. "Game on Janey", he thought. He motioned her up beside him and they referenced the elevation map for the trail. This portion was pretty level and they made plans for the next third which had steeper inclines. He signaled for her to take the lead so he could stop easily to take photos. JJ was more than prepared for retribution, but none occurred. The many tangles with the "Phantom" at station 51 had taught him well and John just bided his time. He had taken several pictures and when she wasn't looking secreted three tiny pine cones into his camera bag. At the apex of this portion of the trail, they stopped to admire the view and get a drink. Johnny opened one canteen and handed it to JJ first. She took a deep drink and used her forearm to wipe away the water from her mouth before handing it back to Johnny. "Beautiful view," she observed, "how can anyone think this all happened by mere chance?" Johnny moved towards her and casually draped his arm over her shoulders.

"Seems planned to me too, I was taught the world was made by God or The Great Spirit." He paused and pointed, "I love it especially if mist is hanging over that small clearing over there. I have a couple of good pictures of that I need to show you sometime." He smiled and hugged her to his side and kissed the top of her head. They stood there a bit longer. Johnny turned to her and said casually, "Oh, I think these are yours," and then promptly pulled the back of her shirt out from her body and dropped three little, brittle, pine cones with paper thin spines down the back of her shirt. They rolled down her back and since her shirt was tucked in lodged right at the waist of her jeans. He patted them so they crunched into a million pieces and smiled sweetly at her.

JJ huffed out a breath of surprise and then broke into a huge grin. "I didn't think you felt them. You're a sneak, John Gage."

"Takes one to know one JaneLee Jamison!" retorted Johnny. She reached back and pulled out the tail of her blouse in the back and shook out the crumbs before tucking it back while they snickered.

"Truce?" she said as he leaned into him.

He put his arm around her, "Sure, as long as you behave yourself."

"Um, I'll try, but no promises," she answered and winked at him. Johnny smiled broadly. She was such a pill. He gently pulled her into an embrace and kissed her, but this time it wasn't nearly as sweet and soft as the night before had been. They pulled back both flushed.

The next portion of the trail was steeper and narrow in places so they walked hand in hand where they could and otherwise he allowed her to go first and followed. None of this portion was dangerous, so Johnny didn't feel the need to go first. They spied a family of raccoons peeking out of a group of pine trees and later stopped to admire a small group of deer down below them in a clearing. He snapped pictures of both and then they watched with Johnny's arms encircling her waist and her pulled back resting her body against his.

It was noon when they had finished the second third of the hike and off to one side was a shady area with the ground covered with a blanket of pine needles, leaves and was near a stream of running water. They decided to eat their sandwiches and finished up the water in both canteens. He had brought tablets to treat the water so he refilled the canteens and they added in tablets to purify the water. Both sat down with their backs against a tree to eat their apples. Johnny finished his and tossed the apple core toward a bold chipmunk. They chortled as it tried to stuff the entire core into its cheeks and he snapped a few photos. JJ chewed her bite and swallowed. "Johnny, how did you ever learn about all this outdoor stuff? You know my dad taught Max and me, but with you losing your family at such a young age….."

Johnny stiffened a bit. Here it comes he thought. I will have to bring up the reservation and my American Indian past. He had not always had a good result when it came up and it made him uneasy.

She noticed and quickly added, "You don't have to say, I was just curious…" JJ wondered why he was suddenly upset.

John took a deep, shaky breath and blew it out. "Well, I grew up on a reservation in northern California and my family spent loads of time outdoors even when I was very young. They both liked the out of doors plus Dad wanted me to learn about my culture and the natural world is a big part of that. My dad was white and my mom was Indian. I guess after their deaths, I continued to learn more because I wanted to and it connected me to them in some way." There, he thought, it's out. He steeled himself for a less than positive response or a guarded one. This was one area John shared little about, his heritage. Even with Roy, he sometimes felt a disconnect between them on this subject. He wasn't sure if it was really there or just him. However, JJ surprised him.

"Really, that is pretty awesome. I come from such a mixed background; I don't have the advantage of a cultural heritage. I haven't had a lot of contact with the Indian culture directly, but I am intrigued by it, I admit." JJ didn't ask which tribe. She could sense his defensiveness and didn't want to put him off. "But, I imagine it may have been kinda rough for you. I mean I know how mixed marriages and children of those parents are often viewed _now _so back then…... Were you hassled as a kid?" She turned to look at him with concern in her eyes.

John was speechless for a minute. He decided to open up. "Well, yeah I heard a lot of 'half-breed' and really neither group were very accepting. My parents were great, but when they died in the wreck, it was pretty bad, I guess." He stopped and then added, "Being an American Indian isn't viewed as a good thing, you know. School was often torture."

JJ leaned against him. Ah she thought, I see. People are so cruel. She was angry at what he must have endured and continued to deal with. Johnny always seemed so confident and easy around people. "Well, some people must not enjoy syrup on their pancakes or a lazy nap in a hammock. Plus seeing someone's heritage as bad is just petty and well, ignorant."

Johnny pulled back in surprise. "How do you know about syrup and hammocks? I mean most whites don't." He colored and was mortified to have referred to her as a white. He despised the whole race hassle and he'd just committed the very sin he detested in others. "Um, sorry, that didn't come out right."

She punched him on the arm. "Bad Johnny," she scolded lightly and then continued mildly. "I've read a lot of background over a multitude of topics when I've researched for my novels. I actually learned about American Indians when I was still writing trashy romance novels. Lots of those are set in the Wild West you know. I am a fount of trivia, some which is helpful and some which is useless," she shrugged as she finished. She rested up against him and ran her hand through his hair distractedly. "So that's where you get your black hair, huh? It's so thick and soft."

They sat in silence for a bit and he tipped up her face and kissed her. When he pulled back, she leaned in and kissed him again. They broke apart. "You really don't mind I am half Indian?" Johnny persisted. "I mean I still have people say things. Dating an 'injun' isn't necessarily harmless, you know."

JJ tweaked his nose and replied earnestly, "Last time I checked I was dating John Gage. _ He_ just happens to be a bit of a rascal, a firefighter, an outdoors man, and part Indian. People can deal with that or, frankly they can…well, go to hell." He raised his eyebrows in surprise at her profanity. It wasn't usually part of her vocabulary, well at least in conversation. He'd noted a little in some of her novels, for sure. She turned his face around with her hands and ran her thumbs over his cheekbones. She leaned in and kissed him, fingering her hands through his hair, pulling him harder against her mouth. Johnny's hands slipped over her sides and to her back. Their kisses deepened and meandered to necks and back up again. The chipmunk had plenty of time to chew the core in half, make two trips to retrieve both parts and then to sneak over and snatch JJ's apple that had fallen out of her hand forgotten. Finally Johnny pulled back and placed a finger on her mouth when she leaned in for more. JJ stuck out her lip in a mock pout and smiled against his finger. He pulled her back to him in a hug and she placed her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating in his chest, the rate fast and strong. They stayed under that tree for quite a while, not talking just close and slowly their breathing relaxed again. Johnny played with a lock of her hair and she closed her eyes for a bit. JJ then spoke against his chest, her voice a bit muffled, "You know Johnny that picture book should be about your background. You know a children's book featuring American Indian characters. A positive take about things like traditions and just showing, well, life events using American Indian characters instead of or along with whites."

Johnny answered, "I like that idea." He rested his cheek against the top of her head his own emotions swirling. Johnny sat up, cupped his hands around her face and then laid her back against the tree. He stared into her eyes running the tips of his fingers over her face gently before he leaned in and kissed her with the passion of a man who realizes he is falling in love with a woman.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Is there a Paramedic in the House?**

John was back at work the next day and JJ was on her own for 24 hours. She found it hard to concentrate on the novel she was reading for more than an hour. Finally she gave up and went out to the ranch and rode Hobo and then Spirit since they had not been out with her for several days. By this time it was mid-afternoon and her thoughts wandered to John. She found herself speculating about his day. Was it a busy one with trash fires and car wrecks or perhaps one that had fewer runs and was filled with doing all those behind the scene tasks that kept the station running smoothly? Was he filling out boring logs? She finally headed back home and after aimlessly meandering from book to TV show and back to the book for a couple hours, JJ marched herself over to her neighbor's house and offered to help her with some yard work. Mrs. Simpson was widowed and could use the help. JJ needed the distraction.

John had a frantically busy shift. His station had 26 calls total; 12 fires, 8 car wrecks, 5 assorted rescue/injures and a gas leak. Two of his crew, Al and Ted,were feuding over a practical joke and he had to deal with that issue twice. Ted was up for kitchen duty. He was the worst cook they had and that made for grumpy men. Four of the calls were at night so everyone was fatigued. However, during the rare down moments, John wondered what Janey was up to and a couple of times during runs when he faced a life threatening situation he also thought of her. He was awake much of the night thinking about her and the events during last three days.

When John got off, he drove home to crash. Before falling into bed, he called JJ to let her know that he'd need some serious shut eye after the craziness of his shift. They agreed to meet that afternoon and he hung up for some needed sleep. She also had slept poorly and took a morning nap.

When he came over they drove out to the ranch and just lounged around the pond with fishing poles. Neither of them was concerned if the bait was gone and much of the time was spent reclining on the bank looking up at the clouds passing by and holding hands. They did end up riding horses before dark and took a midnight swim in the pond. John never ceased to marvel at how such an 'ordinary' set of events could be so enjoyable. Sure beat the stress to impress, that was for sure, thought John.

For the next few weeks, their days had a predictable ebb and flow. Pretty much every day John wasn't working was spent at least in part with JJ. Sometimes they planned a movie or dinner and other times it might just be watching a game on TV or time at the ranch.

Johnny and station 110 had spent the night battling a brush fire caused by a wreck. The collision caused a fire and it had spread quickly. Wind had carried embers and spotty fires blazed. The volunteer fire department called to the wreck just didn't have the manpower to fight it, so several LA country stations were dispatched. After several hours, it was under control and within another hour it was completely out. The crew had gotten back to the station about 4 am. Two of the men had eaten a lot of smoke, but would be fine after their days off.

It was a bit over a month since that first hiking date. Johnny called JJ from the station that morning before he left and found she had the flu. JJ had been sick for a day already. He insisted he would come and care for her. JJ wasn't sure that was a good idea. John's cooking abilities were limited and she really didn't feel up to hotdogs. In fact just the thought of hotdogs made her rush to the bathroom to dry heave after he hung up. He showed up at her door an hour later with canned chicken noodle soup, saltines, 7-up, straws, two packages of lime Jell-O and instructions from Joanne on how to prepare Jell-O but had to let himself into her place. John found her curled up on the bathroom floor. His paramedic training kicked in and he took her temperature and checked her pulse and respiration and noted them. He then asked about liquid intake, food intake, when she had last taken aspirin, and how long it had been since she had vomited. He also checked to see if she was dehydrated by checking the elasticity of her skin on the back of her hand. He noted it all on a pad of paper. He left her on the couch and went straight to her bedroom to change her sheets which were damp and wrinkled from the past day and night. Settled into the now freshly made bed with orders to rest, John left her alone. Soon after she was settled in, he brought in a glass of 7-up with a straw. As sick as she felt, it was pretty impressive. Ha, impressive she thought, I have to remember to tell him….. Dudley jumped up and curled next to her, but JJ had already fallen asleep. Next thing she knew, John was waking her up to give her aspirin to control her temperature and aches along with a few saltines to keep it from bothering her stomach. She took a few sips of the 7-up to wash it all down. He sat with her for 20 minutes to be sure she wouldn't get nauseous. Although her stomach roiled, she kept the three crackers and bit of liquid down. While he waited he stretched out on the bed beside her on top of the covers and stroked her hair comfortingly. His hand felt cool to her. After she dozed back off, John placed the now laundered sheets into her dryer and found himself with nothing to occupy his time. He picked a book from her extensive library of fiction and walked back to her room. He then slipped off his shoes and carefully lay down on the opposite side of the bed from JJ. John then opened and started reading. His fatigue from the shift caught up with him. He awoke later and a quick check showed JJ still asleep, but her hair clung to her head damp from sweat. He checked her forehead with his hand and found she felt very warm. A check of her temperature showed 102.8 degrees. The earlier dose of aspirin should have still been effective so a spike this high was worrisome. He hurried into the bathroom and started a tepid shower. John carried her into the bathroom talking to JJ. "Sweetie, your temperature is getting too high so we are going to cool you down quickly in the shower. It's gonna seem really cold to you, but it's necessary, okay? Do you understand?"

She nodded slowly, but still gasped as he stepped into the shower still holding her and the water sprayed onto her body. John monitored her pulse and respiration while he held her under the water to prevent shock. He set her down on her feet and held her against him so she would not choke on the water as it poured over her head. He kept her in the shower until she felt cooler which was about 15 minutes. He shut off the water and helped her out. John wrapped a towel around her to sop up the water and then grabbed her robe from the hook on the back of the door. "Janey, you need to get out of the wet clothes. I have your robe; can you get your sleep shirt off? She stood with her back to him and between the two of them she stripped it off and he managed to keep the robe up enough to keep her mostly covered. He let the saturated garment drop to the floor, helped her slip her arms into the sleeves and fastened the belt to hold the robe closed. Then he steadied her so she could remove her wet panties and then scooped her up and carried her back to the bed and covered her up lightly with the sheet. Her temperature rechecked at 101 degrees. John then retrieved his bag and stepped into the bathroom to quickly change out of his wet jeans and shirt and into sweatpants and a t-shirt. He gathered all the wet items and laid them on top of the washer and quickly dried the bathroom floor to prevent slipping before returning to her bedroom. 25 minutes later, John coaxed her into eating a cracker, taking the next dose of aspirin and drinking some pop. John scooted over the bed to sit near her, worry on his face.

"Lie by me John," requested JJ. He stretched out on top of the covers and pulled her towards him with an arm. She rested her head on his chest. "Sorry I am getting you all wet."

He chuckled, "Yeah, you have a habit of doing that. We might need to talk about that….," he said to lighten the mood.

"Cute, real cute," she answered with a wan face and weak smile. "You'd think after a shower together and getting me undressed, you would show more chivalry." JJ was feeling exposed and awkward about disrobing. Her comment had more bite than she intended.

John looked a little offended. "I held up the robe and kept you covered," he replied misunderstanding that she was joking. "You needed to get your temperature down, it was the best way." She could hear the hurt in his voice.

JJ could tell her attempt to joke had instead insulted John. "You were very sweet, thoughtful even professional. I am just embarrassed and tried to make a joke. I'm sorry."

John kissed her hair. He looked at her and gave his lop-sided grin, "Well, I'll admit that isn't exactly how I had envisioned showering together unfolding….," She let out a huff of breath in amusement.

"John…Johnny, I really appreciate you caring for me. A sick girlfriend isn't much fun."

John pulled away and stroked her face. "Wouldn't be anywhere else Janes. It's what you do for someone you love." He realized what he'd said. He eyes grew tender, "I love you Janey." He pressed his lips against her hot forehead.

JJ pressed her face into his neck kissing him right under his ear. She breathed into his ear, "I love you too." JJ drew back and looked into his eyes, "My John…Johnny."

She curled up to him and leaned against him and John smoothed down her hair, kissing it while he rubbed her back until she fell back asleep. She was woken by John to take aspirin during the night. In the morning, she found John alongside her asleep. His arm draped over his face.

That day she felt well enough to finish most of the Jell-O, eat some soup and even sat up for a time to watch TV with John. Her biggest concern was that John would get the flu. Careful hand washing kept him from contracting the bug and by the time he had to report back to work, she was much improved.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 Pandora's Box**

JJ knew she needed to talk to John about her past 'things', well actually thing. It was very difficult to talk about and she didn't relish the thought of delving into the painful memory. So she kept putting it off.

She had been writing one afternoon and he had been 'watching' the game (asleep with the game on) in the living room on the couch. She was completely absorbed in the scene she was writing. John had woken up and had tip-toed up stealthily behind her and surprised her. He'd impulsively grabbed her and kissed her. A romantic gesture in anyone's mind, but it had triggered her 'thing' and she had pushed him away and fled into the kitchen. When she realized what she had done, JJ had burst into tears and slid to the floor. John followed her, his face full of hurt and bewilderment. John had been prepared to hotly ask her what the hell she was doing. Then he saw the normally demure woman completely undone. She was huddled in a corner of the room almost completely curled up. It scared him. So instead his training kicked in and he approached her cautiously.

"Janey, it is okay. I'm gonna sit here by you. Did I hurt you? What's wrong? I'm gonna touch you, just put my arm around you, okay?" he inquired softly.

JJ just cried, full of shame and embarrassment and some fear. It was gonna come out, what if he couldn't handle it? What if she couldn't? Her fear swelled and she wished it could just go away. It took a while for her to calm down. John just sat trying to appear relaxed and not show his tension. When she could talk without stuttering, she started talking. JJ was unable to look at John so she looked at her own feet and the floor. "It my 'thing', John, you didn't do anything, it's all on me. I don't even know where to start and I don't want to start…"

John waited for a minute and then lightly put his arm around her shoulders. He had been curious about what this past thing could be and now he was scared. "I know it will be hard, maybe scary. Start where ever, Janes. Take your time, I'm here. It's okay," Johnny said kindly and calmly using his professional voice. His heart was racing and had she looked up she would have seen his own fear in his face.

JJ leaned against Johnny, but was still partially curled up. "I went to this party when I lived in New York. I didn't really want to go, but did anyway. Supposedly, some movers and shakers would be attending, people who might help my writing career. I didn't plan to stay long. Said a few things to the people I knew, had one drink and a little to eat. After about an hour and a half, I made excuses and left. I took the subway home and from the station it was only about 8 blocks to my apartment so I walked since it wasn't that late. I got to my building and went up to my place. I guess I did have a funny feeling sometimes when I was walking home and riding the subway, but I had looked around, _thought_ I was careful, vigilant." As she talked her voice was mechanical and then would dissolve into an emotional waver. JJ would stop for a few seconds and then start again. When she stopped Johnny would stroke her hair. "Nothing _looked_ wrong. Right as I unlocked my door, someone grabbed me and pushed me into my place. They were so strong and it happened so fast I couldn't do anything. I tried to fight, but it was over and then door was shut. He was between me and the door. When I turned around immediately I recognized him. He had been at the party and had flirted with me and a lot of other ladies too. I'd brushed him off several times. He was pretty wasted and didn't like to be told no. The guy was a son of a well-known big wig from New York. Handsome, sought after by women, but I had thought he was a slimy playboy. He…" JJ started crying again.

"Janes, it's okay, I get it," Johnny started now understanding her reaction and trying to help her avoid the pain of saying more. He felt nauseated and furious. He knew what was coming.

"No, no I need to do it, to tell you," she managed to croak out. She cried for a bit even though she was working to gain control. Johnny wanted to say more, but he stopped himself, forced himself to stay quiet. JJ took a couple of deep breaths before continuing. "He was crazy, saying I wanted him there and stuff. I thought I could talk him into leaving, but he got upset. I tried to run for the door and he caught me, grabbed my hair and dragged me back from the door. He took a knife from my kitchen. Then he, he held it to my throat, made me undress, and," her voice dropped to a whisper, "raped me, more than once, stayed all night. He made me say things, do things…" Johnny hadn't felt this kind of helplessness since they told him his parents were dead. He could almost taste her horror and humiliation. "When he left the next morning he made this big show in the hallway like we were a couple or something saying goodbye. I just stood there, stunned, wanting him to just go, wanting it to be over." She moaned, "Man, I didn't think anyone would believe it so I didn't report it, like an idiot. Not even my dad ever knew. I thought it was my fault. I should have fought harder, been more careful, taken a cab home, or something." She gave a chuff of disgust. "For a while I was too terrified to do anything. I locked my door and pushed furniture against it. I took several showers, but didn't feel clean. I did finally call Elaine. She let me stay with her for a few days, helped me find a support group. Then she stayed with me, repainted my bedroom, and helped me rearrange things to make it look different. I spent a month wondering if I was pregnant. I wasn't. It's been three years and I thought I'd put it behind me. Then this guy from down the block just kept pushing for a date a few weeks back, nothing bad, but persistent. It didn't matter I was dating you. That last time I turned him down I turned to leave and he grabbed my arm." Johnny started to get upset at that comment. "No, he didn't hurt me John just wanted to have another try at convincing me I think, but it triggered feelings like you did earlier, unintentionally. I have started going to a support group again. That's about when you wanted to go climbing again. That's why I acted like I did." JJ would not look up. Johnny just sat by her, with his arm around her shoulder comfortingly rubbing her upper arm. He was unsure where to start, what to say, knowing what he said next would be important, key to where they went next.

"Janes," he started, "I am so, so sorry." Johnny stopped and then started again. "You did what you had to do, what seemed right. _None_ of this is on you, none. You didn't ask for it or cause it. He was the wrong one, that guy. It is all on him, **him**." He paused and touched her hair. "I wish it hadn't happened to you. It doesn't change how I feel about you, not even a little." John buried his face in her hair and just held her for a while. Then he tipped her head up so he could see her. "I love you Janes. This changes _nothing_ for me. Well except I'd like to kill him, hurt him." Her eyes were full of raw pain and fear. When she looked up at him and he'd told her he still felt the same, her eyes refilled with tears. Johnny saw the fear seep away.

Just saying it all, admitting it aloud had stolen the most of the power of the secret. Secrets had a greater power than shared hurts did. JJ covered her eyes with one hand, wiping away the tears and looked at Johnny's chest. "Yeah, I've wished him dead too. Felt guilty about that sometimes. Elaine told me he'd been killed in a car wreck last year. He'd been drunk-him being dead wasn't as gratifying as I thought it would be." She gave a mirthless laugh and glanced back up into Johnny's eyes briefly. Like she was checking he was still there. JJ leaned into John's chest. "I love you," she said into his shirt still struggling to look at him. They just held each other.

After a time, Johnny began to feel the hardness of the floor, the cold of the linoleum seeping through his jeans. "JJ, how about we find a softer place to sit?" Johnny said. JJ smiled and John helped her up. They sat on the yard swing out back. He wrapped her in the quilt she'd gotten from the DeSoto's. She leaned into him, the sway of the swing hypnotic and soothing. They watched the day fade away.

Johnny finished up his monthly logs and requisitions during his shift three weeks later. He was looking forward to watching a TV movie with the guys. Their day shift calls been light. The engine had spent the afternoon at three different elementary schools talking about fire safety and the Girl Scout troop at the school passed out information about Operation E.D.I.T.H. The squad had several runs that day including: rescuing an intoxicated man from drowning, and a heart attack victim who had just won a pie eating contest. The last run for the squad had been at a parking garage. A teen had taken a dare to ride his skateboard down a three story ramp in the garage. It had started promising and ended with a broken femur and a skull fracture. Johnny's extra time at work was spent studying for the paramedic exam, when time permitted. Even if he couldn't use the training now, he hoped to do so in the future and was keeping his certification current. He also had to take a class one night a week for several weeks on some updated procedures at Rampart as part of the renewal of his credentials and enjoyed seeing all his friends there as well. Roy was also attending and he'd enjoyed the regular contact with his best friend.

The movie was over and the crew shuffled off to bed. It was about 2 am when the klaxon sounded. The station was called to an unknown rescue at a local lake and campground. They jumped into their turn out pants and boots, grabbed their coats and jumped into the vehicles. As they pulled out, Johnny put on his helmet his mind racing through all the possibilities of this run. When the rolled up to the scene, two sheriff units were already there, lights flashing. One of the officers greeted Johnny as he got out of the engine. "We have a woman up on the camp water tower. She is distraught and will not come down. She isn't letting anyone come up either." Johnny asked Richard to try to talk to her. He had the most calming demeanor of his two paramedics. Richard geared up and climbed the ladder. The victim was perched on a narrow metal cat walk near the top of the tube shaped tower. As soon as she saw Richard, the woman had become hysterical, threatening to jump. However, Richard had observed enough to hazard a guess about what was happening. Finally, seeing she would not calm down, Johnny called up on the HT and asked him to climb back down. Richard walked over to Johnny. "Cap, I think she was sexually assaulted. I saw blood on her legs and her clothes were torn. It looked like she had a ring of bruises around her neck," Richard quietly reported with Al nearby. Johnny walked over Officer Tannen.

"Looks like she may have been assaulted, you think we could get a female police officer up here? She might respond better to one of them," he suggested.

Tannen replied, "We only have two on the force. One is gone on vacation. I'll try the other one."

Johnny located the campground manager to try and find out more about the victim. "Do you know her name?" he asked.

The manager replied, "No, she was with a group of kids that was just here swimming. They didn't plan to stay. I had no idea she was still here. I saw the group leave at 10:00 pm and thought they'd all gone. I don't usually count heads or anything." He stood with his arms crossed defensively.

Johnny nodded, "Sure, okay thanks." Tannen was still on the radio so he walked over. "Any luck?" he asked.

Tannen shook his head. "She is out working with vice on a prostitution sting so she is not available."

Johnny was worried. The woman had been up there for almost an hour now. He pulled on a belt, grabbed a second belt and a large coil of rope. "I am going to try to talk to her," he told his men. He grabbed a HT and started towards the tower. "Ma'am," he called up, "I'm just coming up to talk. I won't touch you. I just have to make sure you are okay." Then he began to climb thinking back three weeks ago and trying to decide how to best help this girl.

It wasn't until he was about 6 feet way that she began to protest. "Stay away from me! I'll jump, don't touch me!" she screamed in a state of panic.

"All right, all right, I'm not coming any closer. I'm Captain John Gage of the fire department. I am just concerned you are okay, safe. What's your name?" he said going to the far side of the ladder. It wasn't that much farther away, but he hoped she would see it as backing off.

"Patty," she answered.

"Okay, Patty you can call me Johnny. I need you to slide back so your back is against the tower. I can't think when I see you close to the edge there. "How old are you Patty?" he just kept her talking.

"Seventeen," she said sliding back against the tower.

"So you're in high school? Are you a junior or senior, Patty?" She seemed to be calming down and showing signs of drowsiness.

"Junior, I came here tonight with some friends," she teared up.

"I heard you all were swimming. I'll bet you are worn out. How can we get you down so you can go home and get some rest?" he coaxed.

"I'm too afraid to go back down. Don't come near me," she warned.

"Not going to, just here to talk," he soothed frantically trying to find a way to get her down. "Would you come down if a woman was here?" Johnny asked not even sure where he was going with this. He figured if she had been assaulted it could account for her current terror of men, even firemen, here to help.

"Yeah maybe; I don't know."

"Okay, look if you promise to come down, I can get someone here, how about a nurse or maybe your mom?"  
"Not my mom, no way," she began to get upset, "Not my mom! I wasn't supposed to come. Now she'll really be on my case."

"Okay,okay no Mom, but a nurse?" he asked.

"Yeah, okay," Patty said, "A nurse might be good."

Johnny clicked the button on the HT, "Richard? Al? Try Rampart and see if we can find Dixie McCall. If she is willing, I'd like her to come out here. I think Patty will come down for her."

Contacting Rampart they found that Dixie had been called in from home to help Dr. Brackett with an emergency surgery. Damn thought Johnny now what? Then he had one other idea. "Eric?" he said into the HT.

"Yeah Cap," Eric answered.

"Have dispatch call JJ and patch it through to the HT."

JJ was jolted awake by a 3:30 am call. Immediately she wondered if John had been hurt.

"Hello?" she answered hesitantly.

"Is this JJ Jamison?" a male voice asked.

"Yes, who is this?" she asked fear rising. Johnny had recently put her down as a person to contact if he was injured or killed, along with Roy.

"Ma 'am, this is LA county fire dispatch, I was requested to call you and patch you through to Captain Gage," he explained.

JJ was completely confused and greatly relieved. Why in heaven's name would John call her in the middle of the night through dispatch? "Okay, sure." She sat up in bed and straightened her gown and smoothed her hair. Then she rolled her eyes at her actions since no one could see her anyway.

"JJ, It's John. I have an unusual request." She noted the JJ rather than Janey which was even more of a puzzle. "We have a female victim on a water tower and it looks like she has been sexually assaulted. She is unwilling to let any of us near. I got her to promise to let us get her down but only if I can produce a female who is a nurse at the bottom of the tower. Dixie is assisting in surgery. I hate to ask, but she has been up here at least two hours now. She is pretty drowsy and I need to get to her before she jumps or falls off. Could you come? "

JJ's first reaction was to say no, but then she stopped herself. She was just coming as a nurse. That's why he called her JJ. This was a professional request. No one knew about her assault but Johnny and he wouldn't say anything. She certainly understood the victim's state. "Okay, I have my uniform and I'll put it on and be there as soon as I can. What's the address?"

"Janes, it will be faster if I send a police officer to bring you here. Okay?" She noticed the slip from JJ, betraying his own emotions at calling her to do this.

"I'll be ready in 10 minutes." She hung up the phone and rushed to turn on the porch light. She slipped on her bra and white uniform. Grabbing a brush and hair band, she put her hair up into a ponytail and then pinned on her hat. As an afterthought, she grabbed an extra blanket from her linen closet. She swished mouthwash in her mouth, spit it out and went to wait at the door. JJ put on her white shoes, skipping the hose. As she was tying her shoes, the squad car rolled up. She grabbed her purse, the blanket, locked the door and ran to the car.

They arrived on scene in 15 minutes mostly due to the light traffic and speed of the police car.

Eric filled her in on the victim's name as he escorted her to the bottom of the tower. As she looked up she saw John over 80 feet above the ground and Patty higher than that.

"Patty," Johnny said, "The nurse is here. I need to come up and get you down, okay? I have this belt, one just like I am wearing, you need to put on. Then we can climb back down with it clipped to a rope. It's just for safety, okay?"

"I don't know," Patty replied fearfully.

"Patty, I have been up here for over an hour right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"Have I done anything other than what I've said?" Johnny asked.

"No," she admitted, pausing briefly. "Okay, I'll put on the belt."

Johnny made his way up to the narrow walkway. It was even smaller than it looked from below. Patty's eyelids were drooping. He clipped his belt to the walkway so he was anchored. He walked Patty though each step of what he was going to do and talked as he did each part. He kept referring to the nurse at the bottom of the tower and she would look to the white clad figure on the ground. John put his turn out coat on the young woman and turned up the cuffs. She had be shivering, probably from shock. It fell to below her knees. He looped the rope through the top hand hold of the ladder. He tied one end to his belt and threw the other down to the ground to his men. "Patty, I am going down first. I'll wrap the rope around your clip and there will be about four feet of rope between us, okay? The rope will be there to catch us if we slip on the way down. The other way would be to clip the belts together, but then you'd have to hang on to me. "You can go first," she replied. Johnny figured as much. He called for slack and pulled free a length of rope. Johnny fastened the rope around her clip then called for them to take up the slack left over. She did allow him to help her to the ladder and they began the long descent. As they went down, Johnny saw the abrasions on her legs and that two of her fingernails had been torn to the quick. Blood was crusted on her legs along with other dried fluids. He had noted the same bruising around her neck as Richard and noted her bruised cheek and a black eye. Someone had really beaten her badly during the assault. He pushed the anger and disgust over what had been done to her concentrating on getting them down safely.

As they reached the ground, JJ stepped forward. "Patty, I'm JJ. Let's get that belt off." She helped remove the belt, handed it to John with a smile, and wrapped Patty in the blanket she'd brought from home. It was softer and larger than most blankets ambulances carried. JJ knew it would help Patty feel safer. You couldn't be covered enough after an assault. JJ guided her over to the ambulance talking softly. Patty wouldn't allow the paramedics to examine her, so JJ acted as their hands while they contacted Rampart and relayed the instructions. She also rode to the hospital with Patty along with Richard, retrieved John's turn out coat, gave it to Richard, and stayed to meet the parents and prepare them for seeing their daughter. Patty's folks were shocked and concerned for their daughter, ready to comfort her. JJ also gave them a paper with the support group information on it in case Patty wanted to attend. JJ then left discreetly and went home to collapse into bed. As emotional as the ordeal had been, it was also somehow cathartic.

As the engine returned to the station, John knew one of his next suggestions at the meetings at headquarters, would be to have training for all fire fighters over how to best deal with sexual assault victims on calls. Training like that was long overdue.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Station 51 Rebooted**

The first time JJ faced all the men at once from station 51 was at a BBQ at the DeSoto's only three weeks later. Joanne had prepared her and then so had Johnny. For the most part she got the same story about each of the men from both (of course she already knew and loved Roy). However, it was clear Johnny was pretty nervous and was falling back into the "need to impress "mode—particularly pertaining to Chet.

She grimaced as she waited for the others to arrive at the DeSoto's. She and Johnny got there early to help set up and then she had agreed to play dolls with Jenny for a had just taken their Barbie dolls to the dance when the doorbell rang. JJ looked at the time and realized the others were arriving.

Marco and Mike had arrived first. Marco had kind eyes and warmly welcomed her, first with a hand shake and then pulled her into a hug. He slapped Johnny on the back and then fell easily into a conversation. Mike was very quiet and sweet. She immediately noted a kindred spirit. Neither of them was very comfortable with groups of people. They spent time off and on during the evening sitting in a corner observing the group, communicating with one or two word observations that ended with laughing or raised eyebrows. Next to arrive was Hank and his wife. He was tall and reminded JJ somewhat of Roy, but with bushier eyebrows and dark hair. Easy going, with expressive eyes and a dry sense of humor, he greeted her and then turned to Johnny and remarked, "Nice job pal! This one looks like a keeper." His wife admonished him embarrassed at his comment, but Hank just grinned. So far JJ could see why they were so special to Johnny. Chet blew into the house next, a whirlwind of a man with a bushy mustache and a lot of bluster. He was charming and friendly. Chet immediately said hello to JJ shaking her hand warmly and then turned and commented to Johnny, "So when are you gonna run this one off, Gage?"

Immediately she saw Johnny's reaction as his body tensed. She sidled up to Johnny and put her arm around his waist giving him a slight pat on the side as a reminder to let it go. Just because she felt uncomfortable with new people didn't mean she couldn't manage them. Introvert and shy are different. It just wore her out a bit. JJ opted to kill him with kindness. "Chet Kelly," she said with a genuine smile rather than the irritation she felt, "how nice to finally meet you! Johnny has shared stories from when you both were at 51. I want to thank you for all the times you were there and backed him up, and please call me JJ; all my friends do." She pulled him into a hug. Chet's eyes grew large and mouth flew open and then went shut and it opened again. Kinda looks like a goldfish thought JJ with mirth. She maintained a countenance of sincerity because JJ knew he _had_ had Johnny's back on many occasions. Marco, Mike, Roy and Hank sniggered. They all saw that Chet had no idea what he was up against. "Sure, no problem," he sputtered out.

Her comment broke Chet's momentum and she was able to redirect the conversation and ask him about his current station. Chet launched into a long-winded story about a rescue in which a woman was fished out of the ocean with a very skimpy bikini. Of course she fancied Chet. No doubt his version contained gross exaggerations. Admittedly, he told a great story and punctuated it with great one-liners. The men were entertained and either laughed or raised eyebrows depending on what part Chet was telling. It lasted long enough for her to whisper to Johnny, "Kill 'em with kindness, babe," and winked at Johnny.

Of course, it didn't take Chet long to regroup and he began to ask JJ about her books. "So JJ, I heard you are an author. What books do you write?"

"I write using a combination of genres," she explained. "My novel was made up of various combinations of suspense, mystery and action."

"Is it a book I've heard about before?" Chet inquired. "I like to read, but I have not ever heard of a book by JaneLee Jamison.

"Yeah, well that is because I use a pseudonym. Since I am a woman, the publisher thought the books would sell better under a name that sounded masculine. My pen name is J.J. Adams."

"J.J. Adams, that's you? Saw a display the other day at the book store and picked it up. It's good so far. Johnny, you are definitely out of your league man." Chet shook his head grimly in mock sadness. JJ wondered how anyone could be so charming and so obnoxious at the same time. Sheesh, Chet was exasperating. Anyway, it was obvious _she_ was the one out of her league.

"Actually John and I are collaborating on a series of picture books using his photos. I just heard yesterday from my editor that the publishing company is very interested in our idea." JJ flashed a big smile at John.

"Idea?" replied Chet. What idea? A book titled: Girls I have Dated and that Dumped Me?" he quipped with obvious pleasure.

The whole room became tense and JJ knew this was what she had been cautioned about. Chet seemed to revel in harassing Johnny, using belittling comments. Of course those comments hit their target, especially with Johnny's background and childhood. Apparently, he didn't know when to stop. She could imagine how heated it might have gotten if Johnny had joined in-like two puffed up turkey gobblers competing for the dominate role. Creating strife was just childish; joining in was foolish. She ignored the comment and squeezed John around the waist to keep him from reacting. "Well, I think John can explain our book idea better than I."

Johnny paused a bit surprised and then it dawned on him JJ was giving him a chance to quash Chet's shenanigans. "Well yeah," he began," we are going to tell about customs and the culture of American Indians. Plus she wants to use Indian characters in children's picture books that portray them dealing with everyday problems. It's a great idea and could really help bridge the gap and fight prejudice. We have already culled through a lot of my photographs and have plans to run up to the reservation to take a few more for first one about the meanings of designs woven into textiles, beading and baskets. It will span several different tribes' practices," he explained smoothly. "If this one meets the approval of the editor, we will most likely have a contract and an advance to write more."

JJ excused herself to go check and see if Joanne needed any help. Joanne had discretely left when the trouble had begun. Take that Chet she thought. This is not your old John Gage, Chet my man. Johnny was better than that type of pettiness and she knew he hated the bickering as well. He just needed a little help in the heat of the moment. She was exhausted. Meeting and talking to new people was wearing. At least her book characters met her on her own terms, she thought and she could walk away from them when she needed to have a break. She heard Chet say, "Well, that is pretty cool, Gage. Pretty cool…. I still think you should pitch the book about "Girls I Dated that Dumped Me," he joked and then quickly darted away.

Johnny just laughed and called after him, "Yep and I can ghost write it for _you_ Chet."

Chet stopped and laughed, "Not bad Gage. Of course they don't dump me…." Off he went into another long winded story about a set of twins that had chased after him.

Soon the food was ready and they all sat outside to eat and visit. After clean-up, a rousing game of croquet was proposed. Joanne and JJ played casually. The men made it into major competition, albeit a friendly one. It didn't escape her notice that Joanne beat them all; of course the men had aimed all their tricks at each other. JJ came in fourth, which wasn't too shabby. Anyway the best part of the game was the trash talk the guys piled on each other. They were outrageous and relentless and laughed harder at the comments about themselves than the ones they made. The kids ran around in the twilight after dinner playing tag and later fetch with the Desoto's dog. After the game, the men sat around and reminisced about runs they went through together and swapped stories about more recent events at their current stations over beers. They exchanged barbs and good natured ribbing. JJ helped with Jenny and Chris as they prepared for bedtime and then sat and listened to the stories while holding hands with Johnny.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Underneath It All**

She knew Johnny could be a stubborn at times. She'd been subject to one or two of his hair-brained ideas. My word he is tenacious thought JJ sometimes with amusement and others with more than a little irritation. There was the idea to start a riding stable for profit. Took two weeks for him to see that was not going to work. Then he'd had an idea for a restaurant. That idea had been a good one, but the start-up costs and the amount of time you'd have to invest to make it work were over the top. The start-up costs had finally nixed that idea. Johnny thought through things by talking about it aloud. She heard all of his thought processes as he worked through a problem or idea. It could be exhausting. He was impulsive and often jumped into something without much thought. She also knew Johnny was very sensitive and had certain topics that could be triggers for easily hurt feelings. He was still one of the kindest, bravest, most thoughtful and honest men she'd ever know. He made her laugh and feel braver, bolder than she did alone.

Her parents had snipped at each other quite a bit in front of her and Max. She had hated it. Her parents had been very happy together, she knew that too. It was just the way they fought. It just seemed petty to her. She accepted Johnny's faults, dealt with them, but found dwelling on his excellent qualities a better use of her energy. Rarely, did you hear her say anything negative to others about Johnny. She didn't brag or use empty platitudes, but was just always positive. Roy had even wondered and actually worried about it for a time. He knew and loved Johnny, but Johnny could be a handful.

Johnny had mentioned to Roy on a camping trip when he did something irritating or made her upset she got very quiet and then would later talk to him about it. She was so direct, at first it felt strange, but actually he had grown to appreciate it. "Janey is most concerned that we might fight and then something would happen to me. She doesn't want last words to be in anger. I am beginning to figure out what she says or how she acts if she's upset. I am not sure how she does it, but even when I know that I have upset her it is hard be mad about it most of the time. I guess it is because she seeks understanding not winning. The last time we fought was when I rushed into a burning building after one of my men without using air tank. The building was unstable and I didn't think there was much time. I just dashed in and pulled him out. She got very quiet and listened to the end of my story without comment. I knew I'd upset her and it worried me, but she wouldn't talk about it until she was ready. Our day continued as normal, but I could tell she was still thinking about it. About two hours later, Janey brought me a beer and sat down with me. Then she told me how scared she felt when she heard what I had done. She was angry that an impulsive decision might have gotten me killed. Janey told me she wanted me to share about my work and didn't want her fears to keep me from doing so. She also admitted my impulse to save him was one of the reasons she loved me and then she cried. Roy, how can you be mad at that? I told her I was sorry I'd scared her and promised to be careful. Even then it wasn't about winning or losing, but just understanding." Johnny remembered how she had nodded her head that she had heard him as she pressed her face into his chest. Roy was even more convinced that JJ was perfect for Johnny and relieved she wasn't just letting things slide. That would have led to a huge fight eventually. It would have most likely ended the relationship.

A funny byproduct of JJ's actions was that Johnny was also positive when he talked about her. He was often teased about dating Saint JJ, since he rarely complained. In the past, Johnny would have openly talked about being irritated with someone he was dating. Often as soon as he found faults, he picked at them until he was no longer interested in the woman. Not this time. His friends ribbed him about it not to be mean, but because it was so unlike him. They sensed this relationship was different.

He also knew JJ's weaknesses. She appeared more confident that she actually was. Her past had helped shape this part of her, he supposed. Johnny understood how that worked, for sure. It was also hard to remember she didn't want him to accept every invitation that was extended. He loved being with other people. JJ was an introvert and needed time away from groups. She struggled to make decisions at times and preferred to think them through so carefully he found it maddening. JJ like to play things safe, maybe too safe. The assault hadn't helped that tendency. She had worked hard to try some riskier activities with him. Johnny appreciated her efforts and knew it was difficult for her to put herself out there like that. He was pleased that she mostly found them enjoyable and was up front when she did not. Especially, Johnny loved how she accepted him like he was. She made him feel confident enough to be himself and he had learned that down time could be a very pleasant way to spend a day.

After his parent's death at 10, he only had his aunt. It wasn't like he was welcomed with open arms at the reservation even before that. Many of the people there saw only his white heritage and of course all the whites in town only saw his Indian half. He heard every cruel and obscene comment that could be devised. He'd been mocked, hit, kicked, belittled, spit on and ignored too many times to count. It was a lonely place to be when neither group accepted you. It made you question yourself, your worth. His parents had been his shield, his refuge, but that was ripped away. His aunt had loved him, accepted him, but being white she didn't always get how tough it was to feel in-limbo. His whole life, he'd felt he had to prove himself to everyone, to impress, to show his worth. Roy had been different and as a firefighter he had discovered a kind of belonging. It took a lot for him to get there. Sometimes he jeopardized his health or life in pursuit of belonging. Now, after being with JJ, for the first time he could remember, he felt comfortable in his own skin.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18: Beginnings**

Johnny had been planning for two weeks and he decided the day trip to Santa Ana Canyon for their hike was the perfect time. He carefully rechecked the Rover to be sure he had not forgotten anything including the items he had stashed in the glove box. All that was left was to pick up JJ and stop to top off his gas tank. He rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

JJ was up early and added last minute items to her back pack. She slipped on her jean shorts and LA firefighter's t-shirt. She put her hair in a ponytail and then threaded it through the back of the LA firefighter's ball cap she'd snagged from Johnny's closet. JJ placed the pack by the door and then sat to pet Duds until Johnny arrived.

Johnny showed up a bit earlier than the scheduled 6:00 a.m. in a chipper mood. "What a beautiful day!" He grabbed JJ in an embrace and twirled her around making her giggle. "And a beautiful lady to spend it with," he added. He kissed her lightly on the lips and when he drew back, she pulled him back into a deeper kiss. "Janes, the neighbors," he protested, "What will they think?"

She grinned at him. "Uh, how smokin' hot you are?" she answered playfully.

Johnny hooted and said, "Yeah, it IS a burden." He shook his head sadly considering his terrible plight. JJ feigned sympathy for him. They were both still chuckling as they drove up to the gas station. A quick topping off and Johnny pointed the Rover towards the canyon on 210.

Johnny parked in the lot and they got out and geared up. While JJ readjusted her boot laces, John took the opportunity, slipped to the front of the Rover, retrieved the items stowed in the glove box and tucked them into the side pocket of his pack. Slinging their canteens over their shoulders, they started the first leg of the day long hike.

The sky was clear, a robin's egg blue. Johnny motioned for JJ to take the lead. Walking south to the trail head they descended down the paved trail. "It couldn't be a more perfect day," JJ took a deep breath and stopped to take in the view. "Man, what a fantastic view John!"

Johnny walked up behind her his eyes on JJ and wrapped his arms around her. He was still in shock he was dating someone like JJ. His chin rested on her shoulder and she felt his breath on her bare skin below her left ear. "It is a breathtaking view," he murmured into her shoulder, "and those mountains you're looking at are pretty nice too."

"So, that's why you had me take the lead, huh? Crafty," she said turning to him and poking him on the arm. The trail was unshaded and hot so they quickly continued down to the bridge across Winter Creek where trees created a shaded pathway. It was a short distance to the Gabrielino Trail. Johnny suggested they take the lower trail because it had better scenery. Walking one in front of the other they traversed through wooded areas until they had a view of the from the top of the falls . The trail down from the top was cut from rock and followed the stream cascading through narrow channels. In one spot, plumes of water spilled down a truncated rock cliff. Vapor was tossed up and settled, a droplet mist on bare skin and hair. JJ and Johnny decided to stop here for a drink and quick snack before continuing. Seated in the shade up against a large bolder, JJ hugged her arms to her body and ran her hands up and down her arms for warmth. "Cold?" inquired Johnny as he pulled her closer.

"A little, but it's so lovely here. I don't mind," she answered with a glance up at him, "especially now." She pressed in and rested her head on his shoulder. Silence blanketed them; JJ's thoughts pleasantly blank and Johnny's as clear and regimented as soldiers. He swallowed once and cleared his throat. The packs and frames were propped up, each beside their owners with canteens hanging off the frames. He turned his pack so he could unbuckle the side pocket without getting up and removed the packet from the glove box pulling out a photograph. "What do you have there?" she asked craning her neck for a look.

"A photo of my parents taken the day they married," he answered tracing their images with his finger.

She leaned forward for a closer look, but waited for him to offer it. Anything to do with his past could be delicate. Avoiding hurting him anymore was more important than a clear look. He passed it to her. Gingerly gripping it by the corners and careful not to bend it, she peered at the image. His parents made a striking pair. "You have your dad's nose and smile and your mother's eyes, coloring and black hair." She studied it a bit longer "How old were they when this was taken?" She wondered what they were like and whose personality Johnny had inherited.

"Dad was 30 and Mom was 24," he answered as he removed another item from the packet. "This was my mother's," he stated and showed her a ring with a diamond in it. "My dad gave it to her when they became engaged."

JJ sat unmoving. She was unclear of why he was showing her the ring, unsure of what to say. She looked from the ring to Johnny hoping to get a glimmer of understanding.

With a quick sigh to calm his nerves, Johnny turned to her and started, "Janes, we were friends first. With you I learned how to really be with someone. You accepted and loved me for who I am. For the first time I feel content with myself and that is due in large part to knowing you. I love you, I want you in my life. Will you marry me?" He stroked her face and hair as he proposed, looking directly at her.

She didn't say anything; she couldn't, not at first. It was all overwhelming. To have a boyfriend like Johnny had been fantastic. Now he wanted to marry _her_? JJ wrapped her arms around his neck and clasped him tightly. He felt wetness on his neck and then her lips. He managed to untangle her from his neck and slipped the ring onto her finger. "It fits?" she said surprised.

"Yeah," Johnny grinned slyly, "I traced around your favorite tiger eye ring a while ago so I could have it sized."

"I never answered," she silently realized. JJ looked directly at him, grinning broadly. "I should probably take time to think about it," she hedged, "But if I am honest with you, I already kinda have so," she blushed a bit embarrassed to admit it. JJ had daydreamed he would ask, more than once. "Yes..," her voice wavered, "Yes." Extending her left hand she admired her ring as it caught a bit of sunlight filtering through the canopy.

Engaged, he thought, I am engaged—to Janey. He grinned goofily. Johnny couldn't believe it was happening. He'd wanted to belong, connect and had struggled all his life with it. Now he'd met, fallen in love and was going to marry the most beautiful, smartest, woman ever AND who loved him back. It just made him smile more.

JJ felt like she was in a dream. To others she appeared more confident that she actually was. The college fiancé break up, the assault and her teenage years of being the outsider had taken a toll on her self-image. JJ was going to marry one of the wonderful, handsome, kindest men she'd ever met and he loved _her_.

On an impulse, JJ seized John kissing him and they slid prone. Giddily they entwined on the ground overcome with longing. "Johnny, umm…" she murmured as ran her hands up his chest and around to his back. She kissed his neck, his ear lobe and ran her fingers through his hair.

He kissed her skin along her collar bone. "So beautiful," Johnny whispered. He held her chin in his hand. "Your eyes are so lovely," and he kissed each on gently and then bent to kiss her lips. The kiss deepened. Only sighs and the birds could be heard.

Hearing the approach of other people, they abruptly sat up and brushed off some debris. Both were slightly chagrined by their inhibitions, acting like teenagers, but not enough to dampen the excitement of the moment. They grinned at each other cheekily. He stopped the hikers and had one of them take a few pictures of the couple.

They cut their hike short. He had already told his aunt of his plans. That was how he'd gotten the ring. Johnny was anxious to share their news with his only other family, the DeSotos. On the way back to her Rover, JJ was full of questions about his parents. Johnny shared stories they had told him about how they met and their life: happy stories, funny stories and good times. How his dad took him running as a kid along the dirt trails on the reservation. About the times his dad taught him to fish. Times when his mother explained his heritage, showing him with pride the history and culture of his people, learning the language, and the traditions both tribal and familial from his parents. The numerous trips as a family to camp where he learned to set up camp, to recognize plants and trees, learned animal signs and enjoyed star gazing at night. It had been a long time since he'd talked about any of it. The more he talked the less of a weight he felt, like sharing it was restorative.

On the ride home, the couple discussed wedding plans. JJ didn't want a long wait and hoped they could get married quickly. As long as his aunt, firefighting family and friends from Rampart were included, he was pleased to get married as soon as possible. Johnny was glad she wasn't one for big, elaborate events. JJ preferred something more intimate and only asked they be married by a minister. Eloping with a large reception later was debated against a small wedding and a larger reception right after. Of course a lot depended on when Johnny was able to schedule vacation time. Nothing was decided, they were both too diverted to make any decisions.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 The Lucky One?**

They arrived back in LA a bit after 12 noon. Both starving, they decided to drop by JJ's house to quickly change into fresh clothes. Dudley was completely underwhelmed by the ring. He was more interested in the sunny spot near the window. Johnny took the opportunity to quickly call Roy to see if he and Joanne would be around that afternoon. Roy was off and they had planned work around the house. Johnny asked if he and JJ could stop by mid-afternoon for a short visit and plans were made. They only had two hours left after cleaning up and changing, so they opted for a quick celebratory cheeseburger at a local joint. Johnny was bothered about lunch not being at a swankier place. JJ didn't really care, but reassured him that they could have a more formal supper another time soon if he preferred. She understood Johnny liked to follow conventions and that if they didn't he caught a lot of flak from the guys. Plus, it was always a pleasure to see John duded up. The thought of him in fancy threads made her smile. After lunch, they picked up ice cream to take to the DeSotos' to share after their announcement. It seemed fitting since their first date was getting ice cream. Since it was only 1:30, they drove back to JJ's. They cuddled in the yard swing out back. She fondled his hair where it curled against his collar, her head on his shoulder. Johnny was nuzzling her neck.

"Johnny," JJ began talking while they lazily swung, "I didn't say much earlier. I guess I was pretty surprised since you kept your proposal plans so guarded." She chuckled and so did he. Both knew secrecy wasn't his forte. She grew more serious. "You have totally changed my life for the better, you know. As hard as it has been losing my father, that tragedy led to meeting you. Your friendship came at a time when I was completely alone. You have no clue how much I needed someone to lean on. You showed me the joy of the moment, of stretching myself. I am more fearless, daring now. You taught me that self-assurance, dealt with my past with tenderness. I love you more than I can say. I am the luckiest one in this relationship." She reached over to turn his face to hers. "I am the lucky one, John." He blushed, embarrassed and tried to dismiss her compliment knowing how lucky he felt. Kissing him gently, she repeated firmly, "I am the lucky one." JJ whispered, "Johnny.." and he leaned for a kiss. Her lips parted and they passed the time as lovers often do.

Johnny had even kept his plans to propose from Roy. Had they still be paramedics working together, he had no doubt he would have confided in his best friend. However, John wanted to keep his plans private, if he could, and he had somehow succeeded. He'd come very close twice to confessing his plans to Roy, but had managed to keep it from him. In some ways, telling Roy, surprising Roy was going to be almost as fun as it was with JJ. Not quite, but close. John, eager to share the news with his best friend and Joanne, talked incessantly during the drive over to their house. He ran through different scenarios and ways to tell them, asked what she thought and before JJ could answer, he'd interrupt with another 'brilliant' plan. He was like this when he got excited so she just listened, added non-committal comments, and worked to keep the grin from her face. What a goof ball she thought and reached over to hold his hand enjoying his enthusiasm and excitement. When they arrived at 3:00 pm he'd worked out a final plan to start out talking about JJ starting a new writing project and how she might have to move back to New York for a while to throw them off the trail. JJ's part was to look distressed and figure out ways to keep her ring hand out of sight. Even as they went up the sidewalk leading to the porch, he was coaching her, frenetic in his instructions. She just nodded mildly and put her ring hand in her pant pocket. Her head swam with all the different scenarios and JJ just hoped she could remember which one he had chosen and what to do. John ran the door bell and rubbed his hands on the legs of his jeans. Of course as soon as Roy opened the door and allowed them in the plan was out the window and Johnny blurted out, "We're engaged!" Then he gestured to JJ to show the ring to them. Joanne squealed, quickly hugged her and fawned over the ring as JJ explained its origin. Then she hugged Johnny warmly.

"About time Johnny," she playfully admonished. Johnny just smiled.

Roy's face split into a grin and he pulled Johnny into a hug patting his back. "Way to go Junior! That's great news!" Roy then dutifully checked out the ring as well and embraced JJ. With a kiss on the cheek, he said into her ear, "Welcome to the family!" He felt very brotherly towards Johnny and JJ for that matter. Now she would be his sister, well kinda.

Joanne and JJ took the ice cream into the kitchen and got out bowls, spoons and a scoop. The ice cream was set in the freezer since it was decided to wait to serve until the kids were dropped off from school by the carpool. Joanne pressed for details of the proposal. She told her about the hike, and how Johnny had first shown her his parents' wedding picture. JJ shared how he resembled his parents. Then he showed her his mother's ring. "His proposal was very sweet and the spot on the trail very romantic. He'd been planning for two weeks," JJ shared with a dreamy smile. From the other room, they could hear Roy and Johnny doing the guy version of details. It was much quicker and infinitely duller.

Chris and Jenny breezed in 30 minutes later from school. "Uncle Johnny," they both cried each grabbing a leg and sitting on his foot. "A ride, a ride," they demanded. Growling like a monster, he clomped around the living room twice before collapsing on the couch.

"When did you guys get so heavy? Sheesh, Uncle Johnny needs a rest!" he complained with a grin. They just crawled up on the couch and snuggled with him. He ruffled Chris's hair. "Guys, I have some news for you."

"Good news?" asked Jenny

"Yep, very good. Miss JJ, their name for her, and I are engaged to be married," he told them.

"So, like married like Mom and Dad?" said Chris skeptically.

"Just like that Chris," he replied grinning.

Chris thought for a minute and then rolled his eyes. "I suppose that means you'll be kissing and stuff now…, he stated with a bit of exasperation. Roy and Johnny busted up laughing. "What?" Chris said, "What is so funny?" Johnny ruffled Chris's hair affectionately.

"Yeah!" exclaimed Jenny interrupting Chris, "Now I'll have an Aunt JJ! And she plays Barbies and princess with me too! Uh, no offense, Uncle Johnny, you are still the best horse and foot monster."

"None taken, Jenny, I imagine she looks much better in the crown, huh Jenny Bean?" laughed Johnny.

JJ and Joanne walked in right then and JJ said. "Hey, Jenny and Chris, how was school?"

Uncle Johnny was promptly abandoned and JJ was enveloped in a two-sided hug. They both began to pepper her with questions about being their aunt and if she planned on kissing Uncle Johnny now all the time. She is looked at Roy and Johnny with a questioning expression. "Later," mouthed Johnny with a twinkle in his eyes. She deftly sidestepped the kissing questions and focused on the 'being their aunt' ones.

Their mom asked, "So who wants ice cream to celebrate?"

Both squealed, "Me!" Roy sent them to wash up.

Six dishes of either rocky road, peppermint, or both types of ice cream were quickly dipped and served. Chris ate too fast and got an ice cream headache. The group listened to the two children talk about nursery school and elementary school. The two kids finished their ice cream quickly and left to play. Joanne asked, "So have you thought about wedding plans yet?"

"Well, Janes and I are thinking about it. We probably won't have a long engagement since it took _forever_ for me to start dating her," he quipped. He hugged JJ closely to his side.

"Took us forever, you mean," JJ added. "Joanne, our plans will depend on when John can get time off. I hope for the wedding to be simple and small, maybe we'll even elope."

Johnny added, "I'll check as soon as I can when I return to work. Of course, you both will be a part of it, no matter what we plan, right?"

"Of course Johnny we wouldn't miss it!" Roy interjected and Joanne smiled her agreement.

Joanne and JJ started talking details like dress, flowers, colors and other girly wedding details. Johnny looked at Roy and rolled his eyes. Roy shrugged, "Get used to it Junior," he mouthed. Johnny answered with his crooked grin. The men helped themselves to more ice cream. Roy remarked that the two ice creams tasted pretty good together. With a straight face Johnny agreed, "My thoughts exactly Roy." JJ covered her laugh with a fake cough.

That night, Johnny and JJ had gone back to his apartment. He had needed to finish laundry. They had curled up together on his couch after folding it to watch MASH and fell asleep later during the news. Johnny woke up around 11:30 pm to JJ asleep on his lap. He had been leaned over to the side. He'd just gently scooped her up and carried her to his bed. Her sandals had already been slipped off so he covered her. Johnny grabbed a pair of jogging shorts. He pulled off his shirt and shimmied out of his jeans and pulled on the shorts. Then he slipped into his bed and pulled JJ close falling asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 Bread Winner Woes**

The couple's first big fight happened over money. Not how to spend it, or how not to, but who would supply it for the budget. JJ lived modestly, as did Johnny. However, the proceeds from her book were beginning to increase. She had the investment monies from when she lived Martha Randall in New York as a home nurse. She'd had a salary, but her living expenses were also covered since she lived with her patient. She'd saved most of the salary and gotten help investing it. JJ had cared for Mrs. Randall for two years. Then when Mrs. Randall died, she had no heirs and had left her money to various charities and a nice lump sum to JJ as a thank you. Some of that lump sum had been used as a down payment on her bungalow, the rest invested. Then when her dad died, there had been life insurance money left. The ranch was paid for so no issue there. She also had invested it. Altogether it was not enough to make her rich; she added to it by subbing as a nurse at times and doing odd writing or typing jobs. If she was careful, the investment interest, book proceeds and odd job money were enough.

The whole mess started over the conversation where the couple would live after they married. They were at Johnny's apartment taking stock of what he'd keep. They'd already gone through JJ's house and the cabin. They were planning a garage sale to and wanted to include Johnny's unneeded items as well. They both agreed the bungalow was perfect as their first place. It had two bedrooms and the attic could be made into a large bedroom someday. The ranch was just too far away from the station. Plus the cabin was not big enough to accommodate them both. Of course, they also talked of a family someday. As they talked about the ranch, the conversation turned to possible improvements. "It would be great to someday add two smallish bedrooms," Johnny explained. "Privacy for us," he said nibbling on her neck briefly, "and a place for our kids to sleep." He smiled shyly. It always was a surprise to JJ that he was shy about some things. Especially, since he had been branded a ladies' man for so long. She'd kissed his nose.

"Actually, if we save back the last check from my book sales and save some back each month from the interest I get from the money left to me by Mrs. Randall, it won't be very long until we could add one bedroom," JJ had explained as she had begun to pack up linens Johnny had decided to part with.

John looked up at her from his kitchenette. He'd been packing up his mishmash of cookware and dishes. "Yeah, well I'd want to pay for it myself," he said with an edge of irritability.

"Well, we would be," JJ replied, thinking all the money was theirs as she'd finished folding a set of sheets and pressing them down into a full box. She looked up and saw his face cloud.

"Yeah, I mean from my pay. That money is yours," he said looking away. "It's my job to provide, Janey." Johnny acted like the subject was closed and turned his back.

However, JJ, who normally backed off when things got heated and talked later, was definitely NOT done with the subject. "Why is it just your job? I work too," she pressed stopping her task with her hands on her hips. "Any money we make is ours, John." JJ felt confident about this part in the relationship. She was bringing things to the table that would help them have a stronger start. Having him reject it upset her.

Johnny's mouth tightened, his voice became hard and his gaze steely, "No, _I_ support us. I don't want to argue about it."

"Well apparently we are going to, because, I DO want to get this settled," she retorted a bit more sharply than she meant. JJ took a deep breath. "Okay, that sounded nastier than I meant it to sound. We can table it for a while, but this needs to be hashed out soon. My earnings are part of our budget, Johnny." JJ walked towards him.

Johnny had gone from upset to angry. "NO, no Janey! Dammit, they are not!" His outburst made her jump. He turned to walk away back to his bedroom. Shame welled up in him for scaring her.

JJ started to let him, also pretty aggravated. She could leave and take a walk to get away from her desire to push even more. She then had a flash to her parents and how they had not settled things and then just snipped away at each other later. JJ took a deep breath and did what she didn't want to do; she didn't let him walk away. She closed the distance between them and touched his arm, "Johnny …," JJ said kindly hiding her anger. He started to pull his arm away and then just froze. "Please, help me understand. Why do you feel like this?'

John stood with his back to her, still stiff with anger and embarrassment. He then turned and she saw tears in his eyes before he looked down. He spoke with a deeper voice tight with emotion. "I…well, it's what's right….you know…how it is done. Men….I should…" He ran his hands through his hair and he wouldn't meet her gaze. The tears melted her annoyance. Johnny didn't cry easily.

JJ waited to see if he would say anything else, then asked, "Okay, what do you mean its right?" She stepped closer and pulled him closer to her. Closer meant harder to fight and he wouldn't have the pressure of looking at her. His body remained rigid, but he didn't pull away. It was progress.

His voice was quiet and a bit monotone. "Well, as you grow up, you are taught to do the right thing. As a man, a husband, the right thing is to take care of your wife, your family," John's voice had calmed, but he still would not look at her. He fiddled with his own fingers. "A man supports his family."

JJ was glad she worked with words for a living. Her answer needed to be worded carefully. "My love, isn't part of taking care of your family managing money? When we wed, all I have and all you have becomes ours: the horses, the ranch, the house, your Rover, Dudley, my VW bug it will be ours, right?"

"Yeah, so?" he acknowledged.

"So, any money I get from my writing is ours too. The investments I have are ours too. I don't want to make you feel bad. You work hard and I am so proud of how you help others. This is, not a reflection on you as a man. Any money I make is nothing compared to the man you are," she paused to be sure he understood. "The book money and investments are just part of the package. We need to figure out how to best manage it, together, _that_ is right. If you want me to have 'my money' then let's build an allowance into the budget for each of us. We're partners in this and partners share the load and work together, use each others strengths to their advantage. It doesn't make you less of a husband." Her voice had grown very soft and there was a pleading quality to the tone.

John gave a heavy sigh. "I don't know…," he hedged, "Joanne and Roy don't work it that way. He provides for his family."

"No they don't, but Joanne doesn't have an income coming in. Her role as partner is the make the budget work. Our situation is different…" She now saw what he had been thinking. "Roy is a great man, a great husband. Honey, you are a wonderful man and will be a terrific husband. But you can be that in your own way. It doesn't make it wrong." She bent over to look up at his down-turned face. "Johnny…?"

"I just want to do things right; Roy is my best role model, Janes. Well, kinda my only one, actually." He looked so fearful and JJ's heart broke.

She tipped up his face and stood back up. "It is important to do your best, to do _well_, but doing it 'right' can depend on the situation. It makes me so proud you are determined to make this all work, wanting to be the best kind of man." She felt her eyes well up and tears spill over. Her voice quavered. "I love you John Gage. Remember we are in this together, partners." She leaned against him.

John enveloped her in a hug and they just stood there for a while. He spoke into her hair, "I suppose I see your point," he admitted begrudgingly. "I want to do as well as Roy has done, but the right way does change depending on the situation." He chuckled against her hair. "Our money huh…Yeah, so how about we use 'our' money for a motorcycle? That seems 'right'." He smirked at her and JJ playfully slapped at him.

"You goof," she said with a half-smile.

"So…," Johnny began, "Now we get to make up, right?" He looked at her and smiled coyly tracing a finger across her lips.

JJ tried to look upset and teased, "Well, I might still be a little mad…."

Johnny smirked, "Oh I think I can fix that." He flung her over his shoulder and carried her to his couch. JJ giggled the entire way.

He'd kissed her gently at first, stopping to smooth her hair. Then they'd deepened the kisses and they'd pressed close. She'd ran her fingers through his hair, loosely grasping some at the back of his head and pulling his mouth closer. Humming, moaning their mouths meandered to ear lobes and necks. JJ was the first to pull back and lay her forehead against Johnny's. Her eyes were dilated and her breathing fast. "Still mad?" he badgered.

"Um, I'm not sure mad is the right word," she conceded with a look of longing. "More like worked up…"

"Funny thing, seems I am too," he answered with his half smile, his eyes raking over her. He paused and then suggested, "So maybe we need to get back to packing?"

JJ sighed and got up. "You are just mean Gage, mean and cruel." Johnny lightly swatted her on the behind as he headed for the kitchen.

"Hop to it Janes, these boxes won't pack themselves."


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: Viva Las Vegas**

Finally wedding plans were finalized and a date was set in October, about two weeks away. JJ had found a wedding dress and Johnny would wear a black suit. They decided to 'elope' to Las Vegas and get married at the Chapel of the Flowers on a Friday, October 19th. They would hold a reception later for their friends to celebrate. Roy, Joanne would also be going to Las Vegas to act as their witnesses. Jenny and Chris were to stay with Joanne's mother while the DeSoto's were out of town. No one knew that marriage was the plan but the two couples. The plan was to drive up caravan style the day before and have a guy's night out for light gambling and drinks Thursday night. The girl's night on the town would be to see Engelbert Humperdinck and then out for a late dinner. The girls would stay at the Flamingo and the guys at the MGM Grand. The wedding would take place Friday afternoon after securing the license that morning. Afterwards, Roy and Joanne would enjoy the rest of the weekend alone at Caesar's Palace and Johnny and JJ would begin their week long honeymoon.

Neither John nor JJ was that interested anyone throwing them a bachelor or bachelorette party, and this plan avoided having to deal with them. Frankly, Johnny was worried about what Chet might pull. He'd been to plenty of bachelor parties and now found they did not hold the appeal they once had. Roy found Johnny's disdain ceaselessly funny and ribbed Johnny about his new found attitude. In the past, Johnny was _always_ game for bachelor parties. He might go on for days about one and Roy had been trapped in the squad listening. During days leading up to the elopement whenever the four were together, Roy delighted in bringing up past times Johnny had been at a bachelor's party; reminding him of how he had raved about each one. He always stopped short of divulging any lurid details. Johnny sputtered and protested, and always blushed furiously. Hastily, Johnny would change the subject as soon as he could each time Roy brought it up. The ladies secretly agreed it was entertaining, but tactfully said nothing.

The wedding was intimate and sweet. It was obvious they were both quite smitten. JJ wore a simple white gown with some crocheted lace trim and carried a bouquet of wildflowers. She'd worn a wreath of flowers in her hair. They exchanged vows, rings and became man and wife. Roy had been surprised by the depth of feeling Johnny had for JJ. Of course, he knew Johnny loved JJ, but at the wedding seeing the devotion had honestly choked him up. The DeSoto's witnessed the ceremony, signed the license and posed with them for some pictures. Joanne had helped JJ change from the wedding gown to another dress, the floral halter dress she'd worn to the banquet. Then saw the newlyweds off as they left in a cab for their honeymoon.

JJ's bags had been transferred to the room before the wedding. She had kept one small suitcase to use at the chapel. Joanne and Roy were taking her wedding dress back to LA. Upon arrival at the hotel, Johnny had checked them in. A bellhop had carried the one bag up to their suite. Johnny thanked him and gave him a tip trying not to show how much he wanted the guy to scram. JJ sat her purse down on the dresser and looked around the hotel room. She closed the drapes. As the bellhop left, Johnny stood at the door and watched him board the elevator. He'd turned to JJ and said, "We need to start this out officially, Janes." He then scooped her up in his arms, carried her out of the room and then carried her over the threshold. "Now it's official," he said with a smile and a quick kiss. She stroked his hair affectionately.

"And here I thought the minister had made it official," she'd teased. Johnny made a face playfully.

"I'll be back in a jif," he said hurrying through the door to the adjoining room in the suite as he loosened his tie. "Monkey suit," he muttered. Following him, JJ saw the two bottles of red wine and one chilled bottle of champagne in a bucket of ice already on the table. He tossed his tie onto the back of the couch along with his suit coat and unfastened the top two buttons of his dress shirt. Johnny removed the foil, loosened the wire and carefully wiggled the cork out with a hollow pop. He poured some into two glasses and held one out for her. She loved champagne and sipped it greedily hoping it would calm her nerves.

Their actual courtship had only lasted a bit less than four months. However they had known each other for over a year. Even so, they had not yet had sex. They had slept together, but just slept. Surprisingly Johnny had been the one who suggested they wait. JJ was raised to be old fashioned. She had been engaged once for about a year in college. Her then fiance had convinced her to have sex before they were wed. He had broken off the engagement three months later, had been cheating on her. JJ had felt used, betrayed, stupid, and some measure of shame. Johnny was the only person, other than the young man who had broken her heart, who knew.

They carried their drinks and the bottle into the bedroom. JJ drained her glass and John followed suit. He poured her a second glass and one for himself. After a few sips, she set hers down on the bedside table. JJ leaned in for a kiss and was unprepared for the passion Johnny returned it with. Her body tightened and she returned his kiss, breaking away from his mouth and trailing kissed down his jaw line to his neck.

"Janey," he breathed. His hands slid around the waist of her halter dress she had changed into, slipping to her bare back. Whimpers drifted from her as she ran her hands up his shirt and loosened the buttons then yanking the shirt out of his pants. "Janes." His hands skimmed over the halter top and rested on either side of her ribs. His thumbs brushed the sides of her breasts. Her head fell back and she moaned her eyes dark. His fingers found the knot behind her neck and he worked it free. He let the top fall away and she sighed as he caressed her breasts. She slipped the shirt off of Johnny one sleeve at a time. JJ's breathing quickened and pressed against him trying to crawl inside his skin. Johnny bent down and kissed down her neck trailing down with his lips until he covered a breast with his mouth.

"John..Johnny..yes.." and her hands roved down to his belt and he felt her finger tips slid just under his waist band below his back and begin to slid around toward the buckle.

He was jolted into reality. They hadn't ever been this far. For all the bravado he projected, Johnny hadn't slept around as much as he'd hinted, less than a handful of women. He also knew JJ had less experience than he. For this side of their relationship he had chosen a very slow pace and now that they were married, he didn't want to rush. She was surprised when he pulled back. "Janes, I got a bit carried away," he apologized.

She was a bit annoyed he'd stopped at first and then she blushed. "Yeah, but it was awfully nice…" Tears slipped down her face. Johnny froze. Tears were bad, but sometimes good.

I want you…so much she thought. She ran her hands down his back and rested them at the top of his slacks. Johnny felt guilty like he had somehow he'd pushed her even though it had just been honest desire. "Aw, don't cry, I'm sorry."

Her face filled with longing, tears still on her cheeks. "I am not crying because I'm upset or sad. It was just so much, so beautiful, right. I love you." JJ fingered through his hair. Waiting for Johnny had been more than difficult; now she didn't have to wait, didn't want to wait.

He hesitated. He desired her and had for months. "We can stop, anytime, you just say stop or slow down or …," he began.

"Okay, but I won't," she answered interrupting him; her hands drifted down to his back pockets, slipped inside them, and she flashed him a coy smile.

His eyebrows jumped up and he smiled seductively. He moved away so she had to pull her hands away. Johnny turned, flipped back he bed covers on the bed, and pulled her back into his arms. Gently, he lowered her back onto her bed, kicking off his shoes, and began the kissing down her neck to her breasts. Pulling a nipple into his mouth he gently sucked and her body thrust up into his. She moaned. "Um, you like that huh?" and he did it again, several times. Johnny began to kiss around one breast while brushing other lightly with his thumb.

"Yes, umm, John.." JJ writhed and ran her hands though his hair, pulling his mouth to her breast until he pulled a nipple into his mouth. "Yes!, that…"

His hands skimmed down and lifted her skirt. He glanced down and smiled in surprise to see instead of panty hose, she wore a black garter belt and thigh high hose. "Sexy," he purred his eyes dark.

"Bought just for you...," she said her face flushed and that prompted a crooked smile from her husband.

She unbuckled his belt and pulled it from his belt loops, dropping it to the floor. JJ could feel him hard under his slacks and cupped him. Johnny pressed against her hand, "Janes," he moaned.

He reached around and unzipped her dress and slid it down until it fell from her legs to the floor. She kicked it away. He kissed her breasts and moved lower down, and her body was alight. She tipped his face up with a question in her eyes as he kissed around the top of her lace underwear. Johnny just smiled. He unclipped her garters and glided one leg and then the other of hose off. Playfully, he slung them away. Hungrily he resumed kissing her belly. His fingers danced around her thighs, around to the inner part and then up to lace. His fingers slipped under the elastic and she gasped in delight.

She'd only slept with one other man, in college, Brad. They'd had sex, and it had been enjoyable, but never like this. Brad had done little of this. He had been straight to the point. Johnny and she hadn't discussed those details.

Her body acted on its own as Johnny touched and stroked with his fingers. He slipped off her panties, garter and began to kiss her thighs, his fingers still working. The sensation drove her over the edge; it was primitive, base and wonderful. When he slid a finger into her, his mouth took over the stroking with new level of pleasure. Her hands strove for the right place, his hair, the bed sheet, the headboard. Stronger and stronger he drove her desire and then slipped in a second finger. Each time he did something new, she was sure it couldn't feel better. And then everything turned white, a wave of pleasure she had never experienced overwhelmed everything. "Johnny, John," her voice raw. She arched into him. It crested almost unbearably amazing and as it waned, it hit again. Waned and again. The next wave was a bit less and again it hit until the wave was just a quiver. Johnny kissed his way back up, his fingers sliding back out. JJ couldn't look at him enough, touch him enough. He grinned mischievously. JJ caressed his mouth with her finger. "That was incredible. I've never…..that never…." her voice trailed off and she gently kissed him.

Johnny frowned. He had planned on teasing her about whether she liked it, but her comment niggled at him. "What do you mean you never, Janes?"

"Before, in college, I liked sex, but I never, never…." She paused. "That never happened."

"Not the adventurous type guy, huh?" Johnny smiled tracing his fingers over her body, thinking she meant oral sex.

JJ blushed and wouldn't meet his gaze. "Well not that either…."

Johnny couldn't hide his shock as he understood her meaning. "You, you never climaxed, ever? Ever? But you were together for several months…really never?"

JJ shook her head. "It felt good, but nothing like that." She felt so foolish and naïve. She couldn't look at Johnny.

Sadness, tenderness spread over his face. "So never? Not once? He didn't, well, see to it?" He had tears in his eyes. He felt angry and dumbfounded; he presumed some things that now he knew he shouldn't have. Johnny stroked her cheek and smoothed her hair. He was pleased to be the first to bring her such pleasure. He gently turned her face to his.

JJ began to explain, "It always seemed he liked it more, but I didn't discuss sex with my girlfriends. He and I never talked about it. I was too shy and it seemed private anyway…. I thought that was the way it was. Thought the scenes I wrote in the trashy novels were, well exaggerated." She paused, thought and then grinned brazenly, "So EVERY time I can look forward to that?"

"Yes ma'am. I take my role as your husband seriously," Johnny tracing her lips with his finger tip, a knowing smile stealing over his face, "And the better news is that was just the appetizer Janey," Johnny's eyes were full of hunger, "More of the same for the main course." His hands began to caress her; he kissed her, and she felt desire flame again.

"Um, I don't know if I can survive more of that…." she said seriously and when Johnny looked up from her shoulder he saw her sly grin. She kissed him on the mouth her tongue licked his lips until he met her tongue with his. The lovers explored each other, the passion building again. JJ unbuttoned his slacks and slid down the zipper. She slid them off his hips along with his boxers stroking his back side and used her feet to work his clothes off. He ripped off his socks. Johnny was partly lying on her. Then she slid her hand around from his back to touch him. He was hard and she tentative brushed her fingers over him.

"It won't break,….. well it might," he chuckled. She wrapped her hand around him loosely and began to stroke him. "Yes, Janey, yes," his words dissolved into moans. His hips moved in rhythm with her hand. While she stroked, JJ rocked her hips until she was positioned directly under him and then rubbed him against her, letting him feel the wetness; not quite letting him enter her. "A tease," he smirked. "Two can play that game Janes."

She completely caught him off guard when she thrust her hips up and he entered her suddenly. "Johnny, yes, John" Her hips took over. She used her legs to pull him completely in. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she gripped him tightly inching them up as far as she could wanting him as far in as she could get. Both moaned, breathing hard. They matched thrusts, each time a bit stronger than the last. Panting they caressed: a cheek, hair, a breast, a back. Kissing, straining toward a common goal. Then their movements became more carnal, less rhythmic, more frenzied until JJ cried out and then a bit later Johnny.

They lay in each others arms, a light sheen of sweat on their skin, breathing beginning to slow, faces flushed and rosy. Johnny reached down again slipping in two fingers and stroking with his thumb. He whispered into her ear lasciviously, "I think you are not quite done, love." He brought her again until she lay only quivering.

"You're gonna kill me," she spoke into his hair and he felt her smile. "I love you John." She pressed as close as she could and it was just short of close enough. She'd never felt such a connection with anyone. Somehow the union of two to one had cemented what she already felt.

"The French call it the little death for good reason, Janes." He smiled softly, his finger tips on her cheek. "My love…," he said burying his face in her hair breathing her scent. Never had he been so complete. The other times were empty and hollow compared to the joining he had just shared with his new wife.

They lay quietly in each others arms, the joy of the moment paramount no longer being two, but just one whole. After a bit, Johnny felt JJ tense and he watched her. She looked concerned for a minute and Johnny understood what she was thinking. "Janes, I'm no innocent, you knew that, but I haven't had _that_ much chance to practice," he admitted to her. "I learned much of this by reading, love. Some I'd never tried until tonight, some doesn't have any appeal. I do read _a lot_, however," he added with a suggestive smile.

She raised her eyebrows. "So what do you _read_?"

He snorted, "Not those magazines-well okay maybe once or twice. No, I mean real books written about love-making, sex and pleasure. Read a lot recently actually. I was, well honestly a bit nervous. I do like to be prepared," he smirked and raised one eyebrow suggestively.

JJ regarded this man she'd married and knew, but didn't know. She grinned, "Like to be prepared? My own private Boy Scout, Captain Gage."

The newlyweds spent a couple of days relaxing in Vegas at Caesar's Palace. The plan had been for the couple to drive to Palomar State Park and camp in a secluded area. It was not very crowded in October since it was the end of the camping season there. However, in the end, they just extended their stay at the Palace unwilling to leave their suite of rooms any sooner than the following Saturday. JJ had booked it for the week, just in case weather was uncooperative for camping. She figured they could just cancel the reservations for the following week at Caesar's if the weather cooperated.

Roy and Joanne were a bit concerned that might cramp the newlyweds' style if they ran into them during the weekend in the casino, a show or restaurant, but fortunately it didn't happen. Of course the DeSoto's were unaware of the reason why until they checked out. As they rode the elevator down to the lobby to check out, Roy and Joanne added passengers on the 4th floor. The group of people had a lot of luggage and so the door was held open for quite a while. It was Roy that noticed the three empty bottles of champagne and/or wine sitting outside of a room door along with trays of dishes from five different meals. The bottles were the exact same brands Roy had helped Johnny purchase on their guy's night on Thursday. He gently nudged Joanne and directed her attention to the display briefly explaining the significance. Roy waggled his eyebrows at Joanne and she stifled a laugh as the doors slid shut on the elevator.

Johnny and JJ didn't leave their room at all that weekend and actually only a handful of times during the following week and that was just for brief walks around the strip. The last time was when they checked out. Most of their packed clothes were still clean as they headed to Los Angeles. However, there was one of Johnny's older uniform shirts JJ had chosen for her negligee. It was extremely wrinkled, had several wine stains, a couple of missing buttons, and _it _definitely needed to be laundered. It had been the perfect honeymoon.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 21: Really Chet?**

Two weeks later, the Gages planned a reception for their friends. They decided to host it at their house,the yellow bungalow. The ranch was less suited for as large group as they expected. They opted to rent a few side less tents for extra shade. The fare was BBQ with all the sides, large tanks of ice with pop and beer and for later a large cake complete with a little fireman groom and a bride. Strings of lights had been strung up around the yard, lots of chairs scattered about and several fire pits readied for fires later. It was early November so the night would be chilly. Johnny had spent most of the previous day obsessing and setting up the stereo outside on the patio to provide music. He was a perfectionist and she was getting annoyed. JJ had been as supportive as she could and just steered clear while he worked on it. She focused inside readying the house for overflow. Since it was a family friendly party, the dining room had been supplied with a stack of board games for the kids and she had bottles of bubbles, Frisbees and several balls in a basket outside.

Roy, Joanne and the kids had arrived an hour before to help prepare. Poor Roy spent much of the time getting a blow by blow description of Johnny's stereo setup. The kids played with Dudley. Joanne set up a small display of the wedding pictures for guests to see by a guest book to be signed for the reception. Then JJ and Joanne sat on the front porch to visit and catch up. They had not had any time to do so since the wedding. Mike Stoker had agreed to use Johnny's camera to get some 'official pictures' of the reception for the couple. He arrived thirty minutes early and took a few shots of the set up. Chet also came a bit early to the celebration. He was not invited to arrive early, he just did. Chet was actually very happy for Johnny. JJ seemed like a great woman and he'd never seen Johnny less troubled and more settled. Chet thought the whole elopement was pretty cool and after congratulating the newlyweds, he pressed for details of their adventures in Las Vegas. Mike, Chet, the Gages and Roy and Joanne were gathered together when Chet began asking about their trip. At first, Johnny gave some information about that Thursday night with Roy. They had tried several casinos. Mostly he told about a couple of cocktail waitresses that hit on Roy and him. The girls had been pretty outrageous and quite forward. The men spent much of the night discouraging them with increasing insistence. Then Johnny launched into details of some of the scenery they had viewed during the car trip and a couple of amusing stories from a stop at a roadside cafe and a brassy waitress that had served them all on the way there. Finally he described their simple ceremony. Johnny then changed the subject. JJ had said little. Of course it being Chet, he pushed for more. He wanted to know what shows they had seen, how their gambling luck had gone, and who they had spotted that was famous. At this point, Roy started paying close attention. He was very interested to see how Johnny handled Chet's curiosity. He certainly knew that over the weekend they had not gone out much or at all and strongly suspected that the couple had done no touristy things. Roy and Johnny had had a day trip to fish and catch up after the newlywed's return a week ago and he had not heard anything about such excursions. Johnny would have spilled those details. Roy hadn't pushed it. Actually, Joanne's and his honeymoon trip had been quite similar. They had spent a frenzied hour taking touristy pictures to show their parents before they left. Roy smiled to himself at that memory and turned his attention back to the conversation. Mike sensed something was up and quietly readied the camera, just in case. Johnny simply indicated that had not spotted anyone that was famous. Chet looked to JJ and she had agreed with a shake of her head and a shrug. Then she added that they really didn't spend much time gambling, but they had tried the slots for a short time. She didn't explain it was on their way out and only so they could say they had. Clueless Chet, caught up in the glamor and excitement of Las Vegas just couldn't let it go. Johnny was obviously beginning to flounder, giving vague answers. Again, Chet didn't take the hint so finally JJ just flat out said, "Actually Chet, we saw no shows, did a few slots as we left the hotel and only took a few walks late at night."

Chet looked confused. "So where did you eat? I hear the buffets there are fantastic!"

"Room service is great!" stated JJ hoping Chet would figure it out and drop the subject. Johnny agreed with her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He was relieved she was willing to be so blunt. Roy caught Joanne's eye and one look communicated they both had been right. They flashed each other a knowing grin. Johnny caught their look and flushed. Mike had quickly figured out what was going on, but kept his face blank.

Still not getting it Chet asked, "No shows? No gambling? A whole week, what _did_ you do?"

Roy had to pretend to cough to cover his laugh and turned away. Joanne looked down at her feet. Johnny openly gaped at Chet actually at a loss for words, which rarely happened. JJ put her hand on her hip, looked hard at him and then rolled her eyes all in quick succession. She gave John a kiss, he winked at her, and she pulled Joanne off with her to double check on refreshments. As they walked away, JJ looked at Joanne. Joanne waggled her eyebrows and JJ. JJ blushed and they burst into laughter. Chet stood there baffled. Mike stayed vigilant; camera ready.

Suddenly, the light finally turned on for Chet. He turned bright red and his mouth fell open. Only ums, and uhs came out. Johnny just slyly smiled and shrugged; then he busted out laughing with Roy. Just at that moment, the flash went off several times. Mike smiled pointing that he had gotten pictures of Chet. Laughing, he reached over and closed Chet's mouth. Kelly would not live this one down anytime soon. Johnny went in search of JJ and to crank on the sound system. When he'd found JJ, Johnny asked, "Janes, you okay? That was awkward, huh?"

She blushed and groaned, "Yeah, not a topic I'd ever planned on sharing for sure. You think they'll tell others?"

"Not Mike or Roy and I doubt if Joanne will say anything. Chet might or might not, who knows?" Johnny pulled her into a hug. "Janes, it _was_ a honeymoon so it's not like it's any surprise to anyone. I imagine I'll get a lot of flak when us guys get together." He shrugged. Chet kept a low profile for almost two hours after that.

The party officially stared at 4:00 p.m. with dinner starting at 5:30. Food was served buffet style and had been catered. Kids darted around the yard playing tag. Mike strolled around taking candid photos. JJ and John mingled with their guests. JJ was thrilled to see Dixie, Joe and Kel when they arrived. She gave each one a hug and made sure they had a drink and food. The five of them sat near a fire pit regaling JJ with a lot of stories about Johnny. She laughed so much her sides hurt and John took all the teasing with only a little protesting. A couple of times he insisted on adding his version of events. Later, Dixie asked how their honeymoon had been in Las Vegas. JJ answered evenly, "You should ask Chet about that." Johnny choked on his beer and his mouthful of beer spewed out onto the lawn.

Dixie looked confused and said, "I suspect there is a story behind that.." Johnny just shrugged. When Dixie had seen Chet and asked him, he just turned bright red and changed the subject. Later on, Joe Early got the scoop from Roy, or at least enough he had gotten the joke on Chet. When he'd delicately explained the situation on their way home after the party, Kel had laughed so hard he'd made the car swerve. Dixie had rolled her eyes at Kel's reaction and said, "I figured as much after I asked Chet and chuckled.

The Gages were called away to cut the cake. Even though the crowd called for smeared frosting, the couple disappointed them. Johnny did dip JJ and kiss her a bit longer than he normally did in public. He was met with whistles, hoots and catcalls. He accepted them with his usual sly half-smile. Several toasts were made. Roy made a heartfelt but short toast to the new couple. Eric, Johnny's new engineer, gave a lighthearted one laced with good natured ribbing of his captain and new wife. Marco gave a sweet toast from the old crew at station 51. Dixie simply toasted to their happiness. Cake was served and the fire pits were refueled. Elaine's flight was delayed so she didn't arrive until after cake was served. JJ was so excited her longest held friend could attend. She introduced Elaine around and it wasn't long until Elaine was chatting easily with the guests. Johnny changed the music from background to dancing. The rest of the evening was a delightful blurt of light, easy conversation, dancing and a few stolen moments between the happy couple. Johnny was energized by evening's end and JJ was tired, but not as exhausted as she might have believed. It _had_ been fun.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: It's the Quiet Ones You Gotta Watch**

Johnny's shift mates noted only subtle changes in their captain after the wedding. His quirks were still evident, but not as prominent. He did make more personal phone calls than before. The most striking was the speed of his exits at the end of his shift. They certainly understood those first weeks and many knowing looks were exchanged behind their captain's back. Johnny didn't even change into street clothes some of the time before he left. Usually it was Eric, the engineer, that would wait to hear the door close behind his captain before remarking, "Hubba, hubba." The rest of the crew just chuckled.

When the speedy exits didn't stop, Ted and Al tried to casually ask their captain about his plans for his days off. They'd start by sharing theirs and maybe ask one other crew member's plans. Then they'd ask Johnny's plans hoping to be clued in. Their captain usually shared details. His answers seemed genuine and unguarded. However, they didn't seem to account for his hasty exits. A camping trip, fishing, painting the house, clearing brush, cutting the grass or watching the game didn't sound like anything for which to hurry home.

However, months later, he still left very hastily for home more often than not. It was the topic of many conversations and much speculation out of earshot of their captain. JJ was demure around the guys. She stopped at the station fairly regularly bringing food so they saw it quite a bit. She and Cap acted 'normal' during her visits. Even at the events hosted at the Gage home, they were affectionate, but not over the top.

Johnny was always anxious to get home after his shift. His wife regularly planned interesting ways to welcome him home. Of course, at first most of them required 'activities' before dinner. Those still happened, but those weren't necessarily what urged him home. It wasn't what they did so much as JJ found ways to make the normal things memorable. She had served dinner backwards with dessert first. He'd never heard of doing that before. JJ researched, planned and cooked another dinner serving food from Johnny's childhood. Some nights she would set up dinner in front of the TV so he could watch a game he had been looking forward to while he ate. Sometimes she watched with him, other times she curled up against him and read. Maybe they'd 'camp out' in the backyard complete with a tent and eating food cooked over a campfire. A few times, she had packed for an actual trip somewhere to hike and camp or fish. She had packed for time at the ranch. Johnny came home the spring after they had married to find his equipment packed for a fishing trip with Roy, Chet and Marco the following day. He had been telling her about how much he wanted to get a trip together. JJ had secretly pulled all the details together for him. She'd tucked little notes in amongst his belongings and even though he'd enduring merciless teasing, he had secretly loved the notes. Another time, they had eaten dinner without shoes using a coffee table like the Japanese. There were those nights she had been writing all day and they would just call for delivery for dinner. Most nights were not over the top exciting, but he could always tell she had been awaiting his return. Each time he felt a stronger sense of belonging. Johnny could remember saying he liked to go home alone, being a bachelor and having his freedom. Now, he couldn't imagine what he had seen in it.

Roy and Joanne had become family to JJ as they were to Johnny. JJ referred to them as her brother-in-law and sister-in-law. It tickled her that they never explained the real relationship if introduced. The people who knew them all understood and others just accepted it with raised eyebrows since Roy and Johnny couldn't look more different. Johnny's firefighter brothers had become hers as well. She knew Marco, Mike, Chet, Hank, and any of Johnny's current crew could be counted on in a pinch to help her out. Johnny counted on it. If anything ever happened to him on the job, these men and Joanne would be there for JJ. She'd never be alone in this world again. JJ smiled thinking how it felt she was all alone after her dad died only to find she had more family now than she ever had before. It was a common occurrence to have one or more of Johnny's current crew over for dinner, to watch a sporting event, a BBQ or for an evening of cards. JJ had begun to have a favorite on the crew, Eric.

After Roy had taken several extra shifts to help pay for the new car his family had needed, JJ had invited Jenny and Chris to stay with them so the DeSoto's could have a date night. Johnny had come in after work, during a rain storm to find their entire living room transformed into a giant blanket and cushion fort. They had pizza in the fort all together and played board games until bedtime for the kids. After baths, JJ had read to them using her various character voices, said prayers with them, and after tucking them in, JJ and Johnny crawled back into the fort. She'd read to him out of one of the trashy romance novels she'd penned under the pen name Lana Swoon years earlier. She'd finally relented to Johnny's requests to know more about the romance novels she'd penned in her twenties. When she'd told him the pseudonym, Johnny had laughed heartily. "I didn't pick it," she'd insisted. "Stop, I am mortified enough!"

Tears ran down his face. "Swoon," he choked out, "what a gas!" He pulled her close, still shaking with mirth. "Sorry Janes, but you gotta admit, that is a _funny_ pen name." She giggled. He held up a three finger salute, "I swear I won't tell, really. I mean it would be too embarrassing to actually tell anyone." John chuckled and kissed her. JJ was still a little put out about his reaction. "Come on, I'm sorry Janes. Read some, okay?" After a bit of coaxing, she had. The pen name may have been cheesy, but what she read was racy. Who knew being read to was so much fun?

When JJ had to be out of town for trips to New York or after filling in at Rampart for an ill or vacationing nurse, Johnny did his best to make her homecomings memorable. If he was working, she might come home to flowers and card from him. Other times he bought her chocolates, which she loved but rarely bought. He also took to tucking in little trinkets or notes into her suitcase when traveling or purse if she was local. Plans were more elaborate if he was off when she arrived home from a trip. He might buy a nice meal and bring it home to serve via candle light. On several occasions he had greeted her in his dress uniform. She was a pushover for him in his dress uniform. He was currently working on a surprise visit from Elaine, his biggest undertaking to date. He knew he wasn't as creative as she, but John found the challenge bracing.

Yes, she had repeated some of her better ideas and he'd stolen a few of hers. Thoughts of most of them made Johnny smile fondly. A few made his heart race.

Johnny and the crew of station 110 A shift started their day with roll call and delegation of duties. Johnny was the cook for the shift. JJ had been helping him learn how to cook and he could now make a breakfast casserole, killer Reuben sandwiches and today planned to make JJ's meatloaf.

Their first alarm sent them to a rescue of a bike rider who had been injured. Arriving on scene and getting one look at the biker told Johnny it wasn't just a fall. The man had deep bites on his arms and head. His back was shredded by claws. He reported being knocked off his bike and mauled and then the cougar had come back for another try and several hikers had used sticks and rocks to drive it off. The biker had part of his scalp peeled back from the attack and had lost a lot of blood. The Good Samaritan hikers had some injuries from their encounter as well. The police arrived shortly after and a call was made to animal control. Cougar attacks were rare. Until animal control arrived, they only had the police revolver, a shotgun and the high pressure water hoses for protection. Johnny, Eddie and Ted worked clear brush around the victim so there was less cover for the wild animal to hide, while Eric covered them with a hose. The police officer stood up on the engine to watch for the animal's return. Al and Richard tended the victim and injured. The scream of the cougar raised hairs on their necks as Eric drove it back with the hose and again later as the police officer shot it in the shoulder. It took a high powered rifle shot from the animal control to kill it when it returned for a third time. It was a emaciated male with a twisted paw. "It would have had to be put down anyway," Allen, one of the animal control officers explained sadly. "It would have never been able to hunt for itself." Johnny and Eric talked on the way back to the station.

"It is too bad about the cougar, huh Cap?" remarked Eric

Johnny grunted noncommittally. His skin still crawled from the chance of being eaten alive. "They are beautiful creatures," he answered, "As long as they aren't eating bikers or me."

Eric laughed, "Come to think of it, cougars are nasty, ugly buggers." Johnny snorted with a smirk.

The paramedics had two runs on their own after that. One involved a heart attack at a theme park and another for an allergic reaction to a bee sting. The engine had two trash fires, the second being an angry wife burning all her husband's stuff. That run had been pretty awkward.

The station got a call that afternoon to a LA neighborhood in response to a man injured cutting trees. When the station arrived ready to use block and tackle to lift a tree off of a man, they found a man collapsed on the lawn in severe pain. He had on a mask to filter out debris. With a few questions, it was discovered he had a severe allergy to pine and cedar trees. Even after taking medication and using a mask, his allergic reaction caused breathing problems and stomach cramps. Oxygen and epinephrine got the attack stopped. The rest of the fireman quickly moved the remains of the dead tree and bush to the trailer for the family so it could be taken to the dump. Johnny called in that the engine was available and it returned to the bay of the station.

The rest of Johnny's day consisted of giving his crew training over how to best handle sexual assault victims in the field, paperwork and loads of it, an alarm for a two car traffic accident with a fire and two harmless practical jokes being played by various crew members. That night, Johnny switched off the lights in the dorm and dropped into his bunk. He was greeted by an extra lump under his pillow. He reached under his pillow and found a stuffed cougar. "Funny stuff Eric," he whispered loudly to his engineer as he dropped it on the floor. Snickers erupted around the dorm. "Go to sleep," he ordered with a smirk.

After his most recent shift, Johnny pulled into the driveway and parked in the garage. With a spring in his step he bounded up the porch steps, unlocked the front door and called out to JJ. Dudley jumped down from his window perch and wove around his legs. Johnny picked him up and scratched his head. He heard nothing, but saw a note and a water pistol on the small table near the front door. He placed Duds on the floor and picked up the note. The note said, "Here is your water pistol. I am also armed and somewhere in the house. First one of us to hit the other with water picks the activity for our day off."

John laughed out loud, rubbed his hands together and set down his duffel bag. He picked up the water gun and crouched down wearing a huge grin. This is gonna be fun, he thought.


	24. Chapter 24 part one

**Chapter 24 The Best Captain part one**

**This chapter ended up being so very, very long I broke it into three parts.**

Now that he was captain, Johnny was much less likely to be seriously injured on the job. Firefighting is always dangerous, but it was of some comfort to JJ. She mentally prepared herself regularly for the possibility of injury and knew death was a possibility. However, she found that she could not dwell on the latter.

Johnny worried more now about serious injury since his marriage. He had talked to Roy about looking after JJ if he should die in the line of duty as Roy had talked to him about his family years ago. JJ seemed to handle being a firefighter's wife well. Her faith was a major source of strength. Of course, no matter how well you think you have braced yourself, it is never enough.

A wildfire was being battled outside of L.A. and Johnny's station was one of many called to the scene. JJ found it best to avoid television or radio during the day. Hearing a play by play just frayed her nerves and didn't help Johnny at all. She would tune in for the morning news, noon news and then evening news as long as Johnny was on scene. When he was home, she allowed him to follow the news in whatever way he chose. However, this current wildfire seemed to be especially capricious. Several close calls from burn overs had already occurred and she was thankful that only minor injuries were the result. Every time her phone rang fear eroded her calm. Even after hearing Johnny's voice, relief thrummed into her bones but with a dreadful achiness. She wouldn't really relax until he was at home. Sleep didn't come and she wondered if any of her neighbors saw her lights on and wondered what in heaven's name she was doing. JJ had vacuumed the carpets twice, dusted and finished all their laundry including the folding. She finally started emptying and wiping out the kitchen cabinets to have something to occupy her thoughts. She talked to Johnny as he came off of his shift around 6:00 am. He was shuttled to a staging area where he and his crew would bunk down for rest until they were called to relieve the weary.

"Hello?" she said on the second ring expecting to hear Johnny.

"Hey Janes," Johnny had replied, "Just got off shift and thought I'd call you before I grab some chow. It sure looks like I'll be staying here and working another shift in a few hours. The fire keeps spreading and is not yet under control. The winds had shifted several times. It is hot enough now that fire crews can only stay out for a few hours and then need to come in and cool off." JJ could hear the edginess in his voice borne from the erratic behavior of this fire.

"Okay, I understand. You sound exhausted John, but I am glad you called. Go get some food and rest. I love you," JJ answered uneasy that he had to stay and wanting to talk to him more. She knew it would be selfish to keep him on the phone, tying up the line and keep her husband awake.

"Love you too Angel. See you soon," he had answered and then he hung up allowing other men to call home. After he hung up, she curled up on his side of the bed, buried her face into his pillow and fell into a fitful sleep. The ringing phone startled her hours later at 2:00 pm, and she snatched it up so quickly she knocked Dudley off the bed. "Hello?" JJ expected to hear Johnny's voice. Her blood froze when she heard Roy DeSoto's voice instead.

"JJ? It's Roy. He's probably fine, but Johnny and his engineer are unaccounted for," Roy reported evenly.

"When did it happen, Roy? How long has he been missing?" JJ tried to stay calm. Her heart beat wildly in her chest. She couldn't breathe.

"It's been over an hour, JJ. We cannot raise them on the HT. Both are experienced fireman, good firemen. They may have just lost the HT. Air support is searching the area now." Roy sounded flat, mechanical and it scared her.

"What about the rest of the crew? Where are they? Did someone call Eric's family?" she asked automatically. The men were family.

"The crew was all together, and the wind shifted suddenly. No warning. The men heard Johnny shout to evacuate, and they did. When they reached the truck, there was no sign of Johnny or Eric. The fire kept them from going back to look. They called out and waited as long as they could before being forced to drive out. I understand Ted called Eric's family. JJ, they have to drop water before we can search on ground. The fire spread all around that area. It will take time to move the fire line back to allow for a ground search," Roy explained.

"Uh, so what now, do I stay here or go somewhere?" Roy cringed wishing he could have given her the news in person. She sounded so lost and on the edge of panic. JJ was at a loss. What should she do now? Everything she had been told concerning these types of events had fled her mind.

"Joanne would like to come over, if she could, keep you company while we wait to hear more. Okay? I'll call when we have more news." Roy had already called Joanne and asked her to go over knowing JJ would need support.

"Yeah, I'd appreciate her coming over." She was crying silently afraid of what the more might be, already praying desperate prayers.

"Joanne is on her way. JJ, Johnny is smart, savvy. He will be fine, you'll see. I'll call when I hear anything." Roy sounded surer than he felt. He'd heard the reports about the burn over, the status of the fire in that area and they hadn't been good.

"Yeah, yeah, thanks Roy. Be careful, okay?" JJ's voice sounded very small.

"You bet," he answered. JJ heard him hang up and just sat there with the receiver pressed to her ear. Only a knock at the door roused her from her stupor. She hung up not knowing for sure how long she had sat there and went to unlock the door. Joanne was outside on the porch.

"Hey, JJ," she greeted her.

"I really appreciate you coming over, Joanne." JJ invited her in with a sweep of her arm.

They walked to the living room, sat down and Joanne placed her hand on JJ's shoulder. "You look like you're hanging in there." Dudley, jumped up on the back of the couch and settled in for a snooze.

"I'm trying. What about your kids? Do we need to pick them up from school?" JJ had asked.

"Nope, that is all taken care of," Joanne replied, "I'm here until you kick me out." She smiled.

"Uh, would you like coffee, tea, soda?" JJ offered.

"Sure, coffee would be great, black please," she'd replied knowing keeping busy helped. Walking to the kitchen, JJ put on a pot of coffee, picked out two cups setting them on the counter. She grabbed a couple napkins and carried them back to the living room. She handed one to Joanne and sat down on the couch with her own.

"Coffee's on. It will be a few minutes. I've been up most of the night sweeping, and wiping out cabinets. I had trouble sleeping. I fell asleep after talking to John this morning." JJ admitted.

"Yeah, I still have trouble sleeping when Roy's at a brush fire like this one," Joanne replied. "Most of us have that same issue." She paused and then added, "Johnny had been in a lot of tight spots before, JJ. He is resourceful and thinks fast in those situations. Keep trying to be positive."

"I'm trying. Being tired isn't helping," she shrugged. JJ's eyes filled with tears. She put her hands to her face and sobbed.

Johnny lay face down, face pressed into a hollow he had scraped in the dirt on the patch of grassless earth. His arms cramped as they fought the superheated wind. Straps from the fire shelter bucked and he fought to keep it flush to the earth. Occasionally Eric called out to him and he would call back. They had been able to find a clear spot to deploy the shelters. He wondered if he had the strength to keep the shelter in place long enough, if Eric would. He also wondered how much shelter these tents would really afford. Johnny prayed for Eric and himself. He prayed for JJ. He prayed for help to come quickly. The heat was agonizing.

Water dumps had been made as soon as possible after the men were reported missing at the last coordinates they were seen. It took over an hour to beat the fire back enough for ground crews to begin to search. Air support also began to look. It was getting closer to dark. The silver shelters would be easier to spot in the daylight.

Joanne had comforted JJ and after JJ regained her composure they had passed the time playing cards and drinking coffee. Joanne had asked about the picture book, shared the most recent news on Chris and Jenny and they had chatting about flower gardening. It was a pastime they both shared. To her credit, JJ had tried to at least put on a brave face, but that first incident was always extremely tough on a fire wife. Not that the others were easy, but at least you had a better idea what would happen. Joanne later convinced her to shower hoping it might soothe her fears by telling her she needed to be ready to see Johnny soon. JJ had stood in the shower letting the water cascade down her and prayed. She mentally recited any Bible verses or portions of verses she had memorized. JJ would feel a sense of calm and then her mind would sprint again through all the possibilities. Fear would slink back to grip her, wrangling away any confidence she had gained. After a bit, she'd start over with prayer. This was the first time she'd really had to face the dangerous nature of Johnny's job. She had faith, but keeping it was a struggle. The phone rang while JJ was showering so Joanne answered it. Joanne was relieved to hear Roy's voice on the other end. Roy updated Joanne on the search process for Johnny and Eric. After hanging up, she knocked on the bathroom door, which JJ had left unlocked. Opening the outer door, Joanne relayed the news that the ground and air search was now underway. "Thanks Joanne that's good news," JJ had replied peeking around the shower curtain then quickly finishing up. The waiting had been torture, but now JJ faced knowing and was equally terrified.

The fierce heat had lessened and both Eric and John had felt the cooling water dumps. They ventured out from the shelters. Both were weak and suffered from heat exhaustion. Johnny was in the beginning stages of heat stroke and had noted some blisters on his hands and arms already. They stayed near their shelters since the shiny material would help signal for rescue. Both were too weak to get up. Eric called over to Johnny. "Cap? They know we're here. Help is close."

Johnny had answered, "Stay near the shelter Eric and stay prone. It's cooler there and we need to conserve energy. You okay?" Then he'd coughed violently.

"I'm good Cap. You?" Eric asked wheezing from the smoke.

"Peachy, and I'd better not find that stupid cougar under my pillow again wrapped in foil," he'd joked.

Eric coughed out a laugh. "No foil Cap, I promise."

Johnny felt foggy and a bit confused. His eyes were very dry as was his mouth. "How long have we been here you think, an hour, or a bit over? You think they've called family yet?"

Eric wondered about Johnny's mental status since he didn't seem to be able to gauge the passing of time. It had been _well_ over a couple of hours. Eric answered, "It's been a few hours, so probably. I bet one of the other wives is with JJ, Cap."

The heated air from the fire continued to blow hot over the men, hitting Johnny directly since he was positioned on the higher bit of bare dirt. The blistered parts of his skin felt as if they were burning. Johnny's hair was dry, all sweat being evaporated. Eric's hair was still damp next to his scalp. The HT had been knocked off in the haste to get into the fire shelters and lay a glob of melted plastic near Johnny. Eric was still awake when the helicopter flew over and signaled them. He heard muffled voices in the distance. "Cap, they're here!" he called out. There was no answer. "Cap? Johnny?" Eric rose up on his forearms to look at his captain. He wasn't moving. Johnny had blacked out minutes ago. "Over here!" Eric rasped out, "We're over here!"


	25. Chapter 24 part two

**Chapter 24 part two The Best Captain**

The call came as she had settled back by the phone after her shower. She had wrapped up in one of John's t-shirts and pulled on her jeans. Joanne was making a fresh pot of coffee. The phone ringing made JJ jump and she grabbed for the phone. "Hello? Roy?" she blurted. "Where is he?"

"JJ, they found them. Both are alive. They used the shelters. Eric is conscious, but Johnny is not. He is suffering from heat stroke," Roy said quickly in a torrent of words. She could hear his relief.

"You're sure?" JJ's voice trembled with emotion. They'd found Johnny alive, alive! Heat stroke was bad, but she refused to dwell on it.

"He's alive, JJ. They are air lifting them both to Rampart. Have Joanne drive you there. You should get there just after they do. I will meet you both there." Roy sounded better, more in control.

"Thanks Roy, we are on our way," she replied and hung up.

JJ jumped up and yelled, "Joanne, we gotta go. They found them both. We need to get to Rampart now." She ran to find shoes and slip on a bra and smaller shirt. I'm Johnny's representative now to his men she reasoned. She needed to show strength. Grabbing her make-up bag and purse, she and Joanne hastily left.

By the time they had driven to the hospital, JJ had rallied. While giving thanks mentally they were okay, she applied a small amount of make-up to help disguise she had been crying. She figured God would understand her multitasking. She was elated they had found the men alive, which she had feared would not happen. Now was about Johnny, not her. He needed her and as his wife she needed to show strength for him and for his crew. Joanne watched her. She had been worried seeing JJ like she had been, but JJ set aside everything to be the composed, unruffled woman Joanne knew. JJ smiled slightly. "I am sorry. I really lost it. Thanks for being there Joanne."

Joanne told her, "Nowhere else I would have been. You didn't lose it JJ. What you felt is just human. I've been there too. Now, let's go find Johnny."

Roy met them at the doors of the emergency room and gave a short update. Johnny had awoken on the way over, but had been incoherent. Dr. Brackett told Roy he had heat stroke and they were working to cool him as quickly as they could. Eric was being treated for heat exhaustion. Apparently, Johnny had given Eric the patch of dirt that was in a depression, which didn't surprise JJ. His shelter had been on a slight hill. It did anger her that he had risked himself, and then she remembered as the captain he was responsible for his men. And she reminded herself, that part of Johnny that thought of others is why she loved him so much. The whole paradox made her mad and the incident had terrified her, but she could be mad later. JJ walked quickly as Roy talked. Joanne and Roy put arms around each other and walked together. Ahead, JJ saw Johnny's crew clustered together worry on their faces. They hugged her in turn. Only Eric and Johnny were absent. "We thought he and Eric were behind us JJ," Ted began in apology. Her red eyes weren't lost on the crew.

She looked at the men, sooty and bedraggled. "You all need to stop blaming yourselves. I know you wouldn't have just left them. They were right behind you and then the burn over cut them off. They were found alive. John would be happy his crew is safe," her voice broke, "And I am glad you are all safe." She smiled faintly. Richard hugged her to his side with his arm around her waist. "Have any of you seen Eric?"

"Not yet," Al replied, "He is awake and his father and brother are here. They went in to see him first."

Eddie brought JJ a cup of coffee she didn't want, but she accepted it and sipped anyway. She appreciated his thoughtfulness. Roy and Joanne took the clipboard and began filling out what they could on the admittance forms in case Johnny needed hospitalization. As they worked, Joanne sat closely to her husband touching him when she could, glad he was okay.

Dixie came over and told JJ she could see John soon. "So, what was his temperature, Dix?" JJ asked wanting a better idea of his condition.

"106 degrees in the field, and 104 when he arrived here," Dixie replied professionally, but with compassion. Her expressive eyes watching JJ carefully. "They started the cooling as soon as he was found. He doesn't seem to have any severe burns and he is breathing fine. His heart was showing some arrhythmia when he was found, but that has resolved as he cooled. We are still monitoring it as a precaution. He is confused at times, but that will get better as he cools off. Dr. Brackett is flushing his system with as much fluid as he can pump into him. So far there is no sign of renal failure. We are monitoring the proteins in his blood. Kel said he'd come let me know when you could go in." Dixie touched JJ on the upper back and with a quick circular rub she smiled and went back to the treatment room.

Eric's family came out of an exam room and walked to the group of firemen. After introductions, Mr. Miller, Eric's dad addressed JJ. "Hello, I am Edward Miller, Eric's father and this is his brother Steve. Your husband was with my son, Mrs. Gage. How is he?"

She shook both of the men's hands. " I am sorry we are meeting under this circumstances. They are cooling him and so far he is doing okay. How is Eric?" JJ responded.

"He is doing quite well. Eric wants to see you Mrs. Gage. We need to bring our car around to take Eric home." Mr. Miller answered.

She nodded and bid them both good-bye. JJ handed her coffee cup to Eddie and walked to the exam room. As she walked into the room, Eric looked over at her, his face full of worry. He was smudged with soot and dirt. He smelled strongly of smoke. His arms had huge, ugly bruises on the biceps and much of his skin looked like he had sunburn. He was on oxygen using a cannula.

"Hey Eric, how are you feeling? You look pretty good." JJ smiled. He did look good. He was alive and that was good.

"Yeah, I look like crap; feels great to be cooler, Jay," he answered coughing. "Damn smoke." Eric shrugged. "You see Johnny yet?" He had taken to calling her Jay and she'd let him. Eric was 5 years younger than she and 7 years younger than Johnny. Even so, he was not the youngest on the crew. That was Eddie.

JJ shook her head. "Not yet, but he is responding well they say." She stepped closer to the gurney and placed a hand on Eric's arm. "I am so glad you are okay, Eric." She kissed his forehead ruffled his hair. Eric was a frequent guest at their home and except for Roy, he was her favorite. "No guilt Eric, I mean it. You get better. We have a cold one waiting for you at our house." He nodded silently too emotional to answer. JJ leaned over and gave him a hug and left the room.

Upon stepping out of the room, Kel spotted her. "JJ? You can come in to see Johnny. He is still being cooled and is still out of it at times." JJ nodded and followed him. Her heart raced and her legs felt wobbly. Seeing someone you loved hurt was never easy.

Johnny was lying still on the exam table covered in a thin layer of sheets and being misted with water by a nurse. His hands were red from the heat and his IV was being switched out. JJ heard Dixie report Johnny's temperature was 103 degrees. His eyes were open, but he was saying things that didn't make sense. "Dixie, you gotta get outta here. The fire…," he said.

"Johnny, you're at Rampart," she soothed, "No fire Tiger, you're fine." She looked up and smiled at JJ. "He gets confused at bit." JJ nodded absently.

She was assaulted with the smell of smoke and burned things and JJ's eyes quickly evaluated that John only had extensive first degree burns, like a killer sunburn and could see some blistering in spots. She moved forward and stroked his hair melted in places from the heat where it stuck out of his helmet. "John, love, you're at Rampart. I'm here." She placed a kiss on his sooty forehead and transferred some of his soot to her face.

"Janes?" his eyes focused on her and he smiled. "Hey Angel." He reached up and touched her face. He looked suddenly confused as he noted the soot on her face. "How did you get on scene? It's not safe Janey. You gotta get out of here…" He began to get agitated and tried to get up off the gurney. Dixie moved to hold him down trying to calm him. He fought her.

JJ saw her presence wasn't helping and as much as she wanted to stay she needed to step away. "It's okay Johnny, they are here to get me out. I'll see you soon love," she lied tried to quiet him down. Her words seemed to settle him. JJ caressed his face, kissed his forehead, and then left her eyes brimming with tears from a mixture of relief and worry. Reluctantly, JJ turned and left the room, tears falling down her face.


	26. Chapter 24 part three

**Chapter 24 The Best Captain part three**

Roy and Joanne had seen her come out. Seeing her tears worry darkened their faces. Roy stepped forward anxiously, "JJ? How is he?"

"He's still delirious and thought I was at the fire scene. He got upset enough it was better for me to leave," JJ squeezed out. Even knowing Johnny might be addled from the heat had not softened the shock when he had become so confused. Joanne pulled her into a hug and Roy placed a hand on her shoulder. She cried silently overcome. JJ sniffed and took a deep breath. "Enough, enough," she said to herself wiping her face. She turned to the crew and spoke to them as much as to Roy and Joanne. "His temperature is down another degree," she reported with a small smile, "He kept trying to order Dixie and I away from the fire and had enough energy to try to get up. Dixie had to push him back down and he tussled with her. I'll place my bet on Dixie winning that match." They chuckled at her black humor.

The group decided to clear the hallway and went to the cafeteria for coffee. They sat together and talked of other things trying to distract each other from the obvious. A few of them visited Eric and returned to allow others to see him. An hour passed. It felt like much longer. She must have checked her watch a thousand times.

Finally, JJ decided to go back down and check on Johnny hoping he was in a better state and she might be able to stay with him. She saw Dixie heading towards the cafeteria as she exited. She told JJ his temperature was down enough he was no longer confused. As JJ got to the emergency room hallway, Kel breezed through the exam room door into the hallway. When he saw JJ, he cracked a small smile.

"JJ, that man of yours is the luckiest guy I know. How he manages it, is anyone's guess. His temperature is down to 100.5 degrees and he is cracking jokes. I can't detect any lung damage. He doesn't seem to have any serious burns, just first degree and a few places with second degree burns, looks like he has killer sunburn. Kidneys are functioning. The worst so far is that his hair is singed a little. I know how he loves his longer hair," Kel joked, "Oh and the bottoms of his boots are deformed from heat. He also has some smoke inhalation, but it should subside in a few days. He has some bruises on his arms from the shelter straps that are beauts." Kel placed a hand on JJ's shoulder, and pulled her into a hug. He said by her ear, "Go on in and get your husband settled down."

She pulled back and grinned. "Thank God! John has the busiest guardian angel in the world, Dr. Brackett. I'll do my best, but he's a handful." He laughed at her last comment. JJ took a calming breath and went to exam room 2. Only the two of them were in the room. The lone nurse discreetly left as JJ entered. When she walked in, Johnny was on his back with his arm over his eyes. She could tell he was spent. Large ugly welts on his biceps were blackish purple/blue. He was covered in soot and a fine dusting of ash. Small bits of dirt littered the floor under his head and his face had smears of dirt. His skin was very red and she saw some areas with blisters. His uniform was missing, taken off in the field to start the cooling process. The doctors had covered him in sheets and misted him heavily with water to cool him quickly. She could see where the fire had singed his hair on his head and his arms were now hairless. The smell of burned hair faintly hung in the air. He had a catheter, but from the looks of the collection bag, his kidneys were doing fine. "John? Johnny?" she whispered as she reached out to touch him with her fingertips.

His arm moved away from his eyes and he squinted at her. "Hey, Janes. Not my best look, huh?" John joked his eyes heavy with fatigue. His face was blotchy from the effects of the heat. "Sounds like I was out of it earlier," he added as an apology.

JJ leaned over with her eyes red rimmed from crying earlier and pressed her face into his gritty neck. "I think you look terrific." John reached up and pulled her closer. JJ felt him convulse as he cried into her hair. "No worries heat stroke does funny things. Plus you told me I could get new furniture earlier," JJ kidded and John gave a snort. Tears of relief leaked from her eyes.

When he calmed, she brushed his hair back off of his face and used her shirt to wipe his face dry. "I am so sorry Janes."

"Part of the job John," she said dismissively. "I heard how you protected Eric. You're a good captain, love, the best." Johnny blanched, knowing she didn't like him taking such risks. "No, I am not upset, well okay yeah I am, but you did your job, in spite of the danger and fear. I am proud of you, babe, so proud." She smoothed his hair. Johnny could still see her distress despite her bravado. A wave of emotion washed over him and he again was filled with gratitude that JJ was his wife.

"Dammit Janes, I just stopped crying," Johnny complained weakly tears spilling over again. She found a basin, filled it with water and found a clean sheet. JJ gingerly dabbed off much of the grime from his neck, face and arms avoiding the blistered areas while he collected himself. Focusing on the task helped her compose herself as well.

"I'd cry too if I was so gritty," she kidded. John just snorted.

Dixie padded into the room to check vitals. "Kel said after this last IV is empty, you can go home if your temperature is below 100 degrees. From the field to now, we have put in five bags, Johnny. Obviously, your kidneys are working well. Your wife is an RN, so she can monitor your condition at home. Just one of the perks of knowing the head nurse and head of emergency medicine is we allow you to go home to private nursing." Dixie knew Johnny hated the hospital and would rest better at home. Kel had suggested he be allowed to go home since JJ would be there. Dixie smiled and then turned to JJ, "JJ a strict measure of liquid input and output must be monitored as well as his temperature and breathing. I'll get Dr. Brackett's instructions for you and the containers for measurement. Johnny will need to come back in tomorrow early to be rechecked." JJ nodded her understanding. Dixie addressed Johnny, "John Gage if you give her a lick of trouble you'll answer to me!" She gave him a stern look and Johnny tried to look contrite, but a smile slipped through anyway. "I mean it Johnny." Dixie left to get the instructions. He held his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"Well, Janes my exit may be interesting," Johnny remarked, "they cut off all my clothes on site. Guess I'll finally get the attention of all those nurses who snubbed me over the years." He grinned tiredly.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, but I brought a change of clothes for you just in case. Joanne and Roy have them. Maybe next time, Don Juan," she teased. JJ opened the door a little bit and motioned to them to bring the clothes. Dixie returned 45 minutes later with the instructions, containers, and disconnected the now empty IV. JJ handed her a set of vitals she had taken about 20 minutes earlier and Dixie smiled at her professional attention to detail. JJ easily convinced Dix to let her remove the catheter, so Dixie left. JJ noted no site irritation or bleeding upon removal of the catheter on his chart. She gingerly helped Johnny get dressed. She signaled to the DeSoto's that they could come in.

"Hey Johnny," Joanne hugged him tightly, "Never a dull moment."

Roy smiled, "Good to see you Junior," he kidded.

"Good to be seen old man," he shot back. He sat on the edge of the exam table. "I hate to admit it, but I'll need a wheelchair." That confession spoke volumes.

Roy quickly stepped out to procure one. "The kids are anxious to see their Uncle Johnny and Aunt JJ," Joanne said. "I put them off for now, but they won't wait for long," she chuckled, "Just talked to them on the phone."

"Whatcha think John, should they come over tomorrow after dinner for ice cream? That way the visit can be as long or as short as you need it to be," suggested JJ.

"Great, Roy is off tomorrow again, so that will work. Uh, about 7:00ish then?" Joanne replied.

"Sounds great," Johnny said, "but remind them no monster foot rides for a bit." He smiled tiredly. Roy came back in with a wheelchair.

"Deal," Joanne said. JJ hugged her tightly trying to somehow let her know how much her coming over meant. They both pulled away and their eyes met. A look passed between them that said it all. "I'll get the car and drive you both home. Roy gets to go back and help mop up. With the setting of the sun, the winds have died down and the fire is now under control." She turned to Roy and he walked her out.

That night, John lay asleep his arm over his eyes, but JJ was wide awake. She spent much of the night watching him grimacing in his sleep at times, or sighing contentedly. The rasping from the smoke had lessened. The sight of his chest's gentle rise and fall was comforting. When she finally slept, it was with her ear to his chest, the thump, thump of his heart lulling her to sleep.


	27. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 Anniversary **

Jenny and Chris had come for ice cream and to see Uncle Johnny and Aunt JJ as planned. Jenny insisted on sitting on the bed while Johnny rested so she could read him Dr. Seuss books. Chris had told them he was going to mow their lawn that week to help out. JJ saw Johnny's eyes mist up and Joanne and Roy's fill with pride. Roy spent part of the evening trying to convince Johnny he'd have to get a very short haircut because of the singed hair. He cited an actual regulation and added in some wording. It was all bogus. At first Johnny had panicked thinking he was serious. As soon as he figured it out he said, "Ha ha Roy, why don't you go play on the freeway?" That earned him a stern lecture from Jenny on the dangers of playing in street. Johnny just threw his hands up in defeat.

It was took two week's recovery before Johnny was able to return to work. His visit to Rampart the following day had shown improvement. The enzyme levels in his blood stream declined to normal levels which indicated no kidney damage from the heat stroke. He had slept a lot the first couple of days and only awakened to drink the prescribed amounts of water or to limp painfully to the bathroom. Johnny was miserable due to the burns the first week. His burns, although not series, were painful and even the sheets chaffed him. His appetite returned after 2 days and by the end of the first week he was just well enough but still sick enough to be a royal pest. Even so, JJ was glad he was around to vex her.

Johnny had asked JJ if she was still upset that first week. JJ had told him yes, but she was dealing with it. He had been too ill to ask more at the time. Embarrassingly, she had stomped around the house in anger or sat crying for most of a day during the first week Johnny was home. Even Dudley had hidden out most of that day. She had to laugh at herself later since Johnny missed the whole display. When asked again early the next week, JJ had told him, "I was more terrified that I could have lost you. Being mad was a way to put a face to my fear. You missed my day long fit. Even Dudley hid out from me," she admitted, "Of course, you are forbidden to do it again," she blackly teased. He had just smiled grimly. JJ knew it would be a long time until she would be able to ignore the worry every time Johnny went to work.

"It's not on my list of things to repeat Janes," he answered honestly.

Upon returning to work, Johnny found the stupid stuffed cougar on his desk with some of its fur singed. He had to chuckle. It wasn't in foil. Eric later found it wedged in the toe of one of his boots with little black x's over its eyes made of electrical tape.

JJ's second novel had been printed and the release date would be shortly before their first anniversary in October. Their first picture book was being edited and would be published under their real names early the next year. JJ was considering writing a new mystery novel set on a reservation. She had made several friends when she had visited the reservation with John to take pictures and do research for the picture book. The complicated culture and the clashes between the white world and the reservation would make a compelling setting and exciting plot twists. However, it was still just in the thinking stages. Her next project was a thriller based on a serial arsonist. JJ was enjoying catching up on reading other's novels for now.

Johnny had been working for months on planning for their anniversary. After a small kitchen fire at one of the most exclusive restaurants in August, he had been able to set up a reservation for dinner for two. As he had toured the kitchen with the owner/chef Mr. Nelson, the man had praised the quick action of his crew in minimizing the damage. "Most of the repairs are cosmetic," Mr. Nelson said, "I can't think of a way to thank you all." He'd then offered free dinners to the crew, which they had to decline. Those types of rewards were not allowed and honestly not wanted. Mr. Nelson had then taken all their names and promised they would be first on the list for reservations if they called and used his name. After careful thought and a talk with Roy about the ethics, he had made reservations. Next he planned a moonlight walk on the beach, and then home to cut the small cake from their reception. For her gift, he had retained the services of one of the artists on the reservation to make a pair of beaded moccasins similar to a pair his mother wore in JJ's favorite photo of her mother-in-law. JJ had written and bound a collection of stories about his parents and childhood memories of them along with photos he had shared with her and that she had been able to find. More recently, she had come upon an additional surprise gift.

Johnny was working his last shift before their first anniversary. Calls had started almost immediately hinting it would be a busy 24 hours. During roll call, they had been toned out to a rescue at a park/campground. Arriving on scene, they saw two climbers stranded on a rock face. They had attempted to climb it without equipment and were stuck three-fourths of the way up. Due to using some new equipment, Johnny chose to participate in the rescue. Richard had missed the training while injured. Johnny and Al geared up for the climb. The plan was to climb up and secure the victims. They could assess their injuries and then either abseil down or airlift them. Richard would man the bio-phone and communicate through the HT to the men. Even though he was older, Johnny reached the lowest climber first, seeing that she was only scared, he belted her and then after driving a spring cam into a nearby crack, he anchored her to it. By then Al had caught up, handed Johnny the second belt and Johnny climbed up to the higher victim. He was also unharmed and Johnny secured him in the same manner. Vitals were taken since they had brought a BP cuff and stethoscope. Al relayed them to Richard who reported them to Rampart. Clipping to the cams for safety, each rescuer attached a victim in tandem fashion and carefully rappelled down. The spring cams were new as of 1979, and Johnny had been one of a few captains asked to try them in rescues. He looked forward to writing the report. Although the cams had to be left behind, the cost of the rescue was much less this way than if they had gone up and been airlifted to the ground. The victims were fine, only a bit shaken. It had been foolish of them to try a free climb since they were both quite inexperienced. The entire crew was relieved the rescue had ended well. After that they had put out two house fires, rescued four people from a car wreck of which only two survived, rescued two window washers whose scaffold block and tackle had jammed, put out a grass fire caused by an unwatched trash fire, and had two calls cancelled mid-run. All of the men had missed breakfast and lunch and it was near time for dinner. Fortunately, Eddie was cooking and although he was naïve he was an excellent chef. He whipped up a quick pasta dish that was a hit with all the crew. Most of the men turned in early. However, they were toned out twice in the night once for a gas leak at a residence and the second time for a bus wreck. The rescued woman had been very attentive to the captain after she had been carried out of a house with a gas leak. Johnny wasn't even the one who had rescued her, but she had fixated on the hapless captain and flirted outrageously much to his mortification. He fruitlessly tried to explain that it had been Richard that carried her out, but she was set on Captain Gage being the hero. Eric couldn't resist razzing Johnny so the cougar showed up on in the captain's locker with hearts glued all over it at the beginning of the next shift.

However the bus had been carrying senior citizens on a three day tour. The bus had tipped over during the collision and of the 30 passengers, 5 were fatalities. It had been a grueling call that kept them out over their shift. Johnny had not been the only man on A shift that beat a hasty retreat home after work. He'd trudged home exhausted, eaten a breakfast with JJ and fallen into bed.

Both the Gages dressed up for dinner on their first wedding anniversery. They made a striking pair. Dinner was perfect down to a roving violinist. They enjoyed a bottle of California wine with their five course meal. The weather was warm enough for a barefoot walk on the beach in the moonlight. They held hands and walked in the sand. They reminisced about their friendship, courtship and first year together. They went home to cake and coffee. Even the year old cake was still good after being frozen for a year. It was a wonderful evening.

When presented with her gift, JJ was flabbergasted. "John, where ever did you get these? They are just like your mother's!" Her fingers skated lightly over the beading pattern. She now knew the meaning behind the designs. To have such a beautiful piece of his heritage was very precious to her.

Johnny was delighted with the bound collection of the stories and memories about his mother, father and their family. "Whenever did you do this?" he asked as he read through the book. Truth be told, John's eyes welled up. She had somehow captured the feelings and timbre of many of his memories with her words.

"I started writing the stories right after we were engaged. Between your stories and photos, your aunt and a few people on the reservation I filled in a few details and scored a handful of new photographs," she explained.

They snuggled on the couch drinking coffee. Dudley sat on half on John's shoulders and half on the back of the love seat. Some of the time they talked of this and that, other times they just sat in comfortable quiet enjoying each other's company. Being newlyweds, things eventually turned to romance. Dudley stalked off in a huff after the couple disturbed his sleep while making-out. As Johnny got up to lead his wife to their bedroom, JJ stopped and pulled him to her. "John, I have one more gift for you."

He chuckled, "Don't I know it." He growled and kissed her neck.

She giggled, "Yeah, well _besides_ that," she replied with a knowing smile. Pausing she said, "John love, this June, you are going to get to celebrate Father's Day."

The frisky look slipped off his face replaced with first shock and then a wide grin, "A baby?" His hand gravitated to her stomach, gently cupping it. "Oh, Janes, a baby…" He pulled her into his embrace, kissing her ear, neck, cheek and lastly dropping a small peck on her nose. "You are about how far along?" he asked. She held up two fingers for two months. "So May?" he asked as she nodded. Johnny's gaze was full of ardent tenderness. JJ leaned in for the kiss she expected and squealed when John swept her up into his arms and strode off with her to their bedroom.


	28. Chapter 26 part one

Again I found this chapter quite long, so I've cut it into two parts.

**Chapter 26 New York to LA  
**

John walked slowly away from the airport gate having just bid farewell to his wife as she made a trip East to finalize some legal matters with her newest agreement with the publisher. Her last words whispered into his shoulder had been, "I'll be back as soon as I can. You behave yourself handsome, I love you John. We'll miss you," she'd said as she cradled the small swell where their child grew.

Johnny had hugged her fiercely. "I miss you already Janes." He'd placed his hand over their child. "You and the kiddo have a safe trip. Love you both." With one more kiss, he'd released her to board the plane.

Now five months pregnant, their secret was out. Joanne was planning a baby shower a week after her return. Johnny had stood at the window and watched the plane until it had taxied off to the runway and he could no longer see it. Three days wasn't that long and yet he already felt a melancholy funk settling over him. He turned and shuffled back through the terminal to the Rover. It had been less than a year and a half since they'd wed, and he dreaded 'bachin' it.

JJ had resisted going to New York, but was advised by her agent to complete the business in person. Although she was looking forward to seeing Elaine, JJ hated being away from her home and especially Johnny. Going with her was out of the question since he would soon be taking off for a time after the baby was born. Upon arrival, she was met at the JFK Airport by Elaine and whisked into the frantic pace of the Big Apple. She was only to be gone for three days and one was almost passed. Tomorrow she'd meet with the lawyers, sign all the papers and then catch her plane the next day.

That evening, she and Elaine caught up. JJ had brought pictures of Chet's face at the reception and Elaine had howled. "Priceless!" she'd gasped, "Better than I imagined." Elaine was delighted to be able to feel the baby kick and JJ told her of all about the nursery she was completing. She also raved about married life with Johnny. Elaine tried to coax pitfalls out of her, but JJ would only concede that a couple of times she'd ended up with her behind falling into the toilet during the night since he'd left the seat up and she'd not turned on the light. Elaine brought her up to date on her dating life including a recent break up with a man she'd dated for four years, Joel. "He just wanted things to stay like they were," Elaine explained. "I was ready to move to the next step." Elaine was 33 and looking for commitment. JJ was sad for her friend. She had seen Joel was not the committing type early on, but Elaine had loved him so she'd hoped for the best.

"You need to come to California, Elaine," JJ told her with a smile, "I know a lot of lovely men you need to meet." Elaine just shook her head. "Well, I think the publishing company needs representation on the West coast," she continued to coax. However, Elaine just shrugged and changed the subject to her most recent passion, acupuncture. The last kick had been jogging and its benefits. JJ dropped it at least for now.

The business the next day took longer that JJ wanted. All the papers signed and notarized, JJ spent the next afternoon visiting some of her favorite haunts from her time in New York. She picked up a Statue of Liberty paperweight for John. Aunt JJ found a pet rock for Jenny and a Wizzer top for Chris. JJ found herself antsy to get back to L.A. and somewhat unable to really enjoy her time back on the East Coast. The bustle and busyness that used to energize her just made her feel lonelier. New York was no longer her home. She made a call to Johnny that evening. He had been off and had ridden the horses and spent the day at the ranch**. **I rode each of them for an hour. "Boy, Spirit was bent outta shape when I left him to ride Hobo! I'm glad horses can't talk 'cuz I'm sure he was cussing at me when I rode off on Hobo."Johnny told her that his replacement's father had a heart attack so he would have to take his A shift the next day as usual. Although JJ was disappointed he would not be able to meet her plane, she loved the kindness of her husband. He could have told his replacement to find another person. She also knew the other captains would go out of their way to cover for Johnny in May.

"I did a bit of shopping today and got a few gifts. I'd forgotten how noisy and busy it is here. I guess I've changed because I didn't find it as exciting as I have in the past. I can't wait to be home John. I set my alarm early. I'll see you tomorrow love." She caressed the phone with her finger tips as she might have John's face.

"Take care you two. I miss you Angel. I love you," Johnny answered. JJ could imagine his half-smile over the phone.

The next morning, JJ was up, dressed and packed with hours to spare. Even though she only needed to allow two hours to get to the airport, she left with three hours leeway. It took almost half an hour to hail a cab; however traffic was moving smoothly. Then it seemed to come to a standstill all at once so she was glad she'd allowed more time.

Johnny calculated the time as he went about his day at the station and his heart raced. JJ would soon be on the plane home. He knew it had only been three days, but he'd missed her, hadn't slept well alone. He was extra glad he was a captain. Otherwise, his men would have ribbed him about all the mooning he had hidden in the privacy of the captain's office. Little did he know the crew had plastered the inside of his locker with cut out hearts already. They had known about New York and had already heard all his laments about her going away in the days leading up to her trip. They didn't need to see his pining that day to sense a good way to tease their captain.

The traffic snarl was due to a huge pile up. JJ groaned and urged the cab driver to find a way to the airport. He had tried so hard, but upon arrival at JFK, she had missed the TWA flight 432 to LAX by 10 minutes. She called Elaine in tears. Elaine pulled a few strings and found a business man who had room on his private plane to take JJ home. He had business in San Francisco, but was willing to divert the plane as a favor to Elaine and the publishing house. She was on her way only 20 minutes later. It was so hastily arranged JJ didn't have time to call. She had to race to another terminal, get her bags on board and then the plane sat on the tarmac waiting for clearance. "It doesn't matter," she reasoned. "John isn't meeting me, so a few minutes later will be fine." It still bothered her she hadn't been able to call.

The day had passed more quickly that Johnny thought it might. Captain Gage was glad for frequent runs to keep him from missing his wife so much. She would be home in a little over an hour and he would be off at 6 am the next morning. His crew saw him climb out of the engine after the last run to a house fire with a goofy smile and a bounce in his step. They stifled their laughs. John noticed but he didn't mind. Still to maintain appearances, he glared at the men saying, "Don't just stand there; let's get these vehicles shined up." They groaned and as he passed his engineer, Eric, he winked. His men liked his friendly manner and respected his skills as a fireman/paramedic. His style of leadership might have been different that Captain Stanley's friendly but reserved approach, but it worked well for him. Johnny's goofy sense of humor and upbeat outlook were just part of their captain's charm. As soon as their Captain was out of sight, the men exchanged broad smiles over their smitten leader as they worked quickly and conscientiously to finish their task.

About 45 minutes after the crew had finished polishing the trucks and had lunch, the klaxon sounded. A long list of stations and squads were listed. "Airplane crash at LAX international airport, multiple injuries…." The crew's hearts sped up, but the chances of it being JJ's flight were slight. It was a busy airport. The firemen of station 110 along with three other engines including station 91, Roy's crew, arrived on sight to find a commercial airliner broken into three pieces and aflame a few yards past the end of the runway. Black smoke poured out of all sections and cries of pain and alarm filled the air. Luggage was strewn around along with fragments of the plane and a few bodies. A call was made for more help. Johnny's heart leapt into this throat when he saw it was a TWA flight, the same airline carrier as JJ's flight. Using his HT, he began to coordinate efforts since he was the first captain at the scene and his training kicked in. The chief arrived shortly after and took over. Johnny's engineer flagged down the chief. Eric asked the chief, "What is the flight number chief? Captain Gage's wife was flying in today." Concern clouded his face.

The chief's brow furrowed; he checked his clipboard and he answered, "It was from New York, flight 432."

The engineer's face turned white. "Dear God, that's her flight…"


	29. Chapter 26 part two

Chapter 26 part two New York to LA

Eric asked to be the one to tell his captain. When Johnny was told, he froze and the look on his face was raw and panicked. Then he broke away from the crew made a mad dash for the plane grabbing an air tank and mask and yelling out orders. His men had to chase, take down and restrain their distraught captain, while he begged to be allowed to search. "Cap, we are to stand down. You're too close to this to be objective; we all are. Let the others do the job," Eric reasoned.

John was desperate, frantic almost rambling near the end. "I can do this," he insisted angrily, "I know what to do. Let me go, damn it. I need to go. There's no time, come on fellas get the hell off of me, that's an order." Johnny went from running full tilt to being pinned to the ground by his men. All the men had tears in their eyes. JJ was their friend, their sister. Seeing their captain this way was wrenching. Each had tried to get through to their captain that they were ordered to stay put. Johnny had finally understood it was an order from the chief to stay by the equipment and his body had gone limp in defeat. The entire crew had been ordered provide only staging area support by the chief while waiting for a replacement captain to arrive. Then the crew could help rotate on fire control.

The chief had witnessed the scene between the crew and captain and wisely stayed out of it. He saw the men were handling it and his involvement would only cause more attention. Gage had enough worries without feeling more eyes on his grief. Eric helped his captain up, helped him shrug out of the air tank, and led him away around the engine where he could sit in relative privacy. "Cap, we'll get the word out. She's fine, it will be okay," Eric told him. Even to him his words seemed lame and weak.

Eric had a special fondness for Jay, as he called JJ and for his captain. He spent quite a bit of time at their place. His family lived a ways away and the Gages kinda 'adopted' him. Jay was the sister he'd never had. Eric only had one brother. He loved him of course, but they were very different almost opposites. His captain, he called him Johnny away from the station, was a good buddy and friend-almost a brother. Maybe with time the almost would be dropped. Eric focused on doing what needed to be done and pushed his thoughts as far away as he could. Eric quickly located Ted on the other side of the engine talking to Eddie, the gentle giant. At 6'5" he was a huge man. Eddie was quite distraught about the JJ being in the crash. Ted was a quiet man who exuded confidence and he was calming Eddie down. Eddie was a heart on his sleeve kinda guy.

"Eddie, you need to chill out man. Us losing our cool is not helping Cap and anyway chances are she survived. Breathe slowly, man. That's right, nice and slow," Ted coached Eddie. Eddie leaned over and put his hands on his knees and closed his eyes to gather himself.

"Sorry Ted, seeing Cap like that really threw me. I'm better, thanks man. It is just so terrible, and unbelievable. You're right, she is probably fine," Eddie said softly. For the beast of a man he looked like, he was the kindest, sweetest guy ever and the most naïve. Good natured Eddie was often the butt of pranks or jokes. He took it all with a smile and always a bit of surprised look on his face. Ted just patted him on the back and walked toward Eric.

"How's Cap holding up Eric? The tall dark skinned fireman asked quietly enough that no one else could hear.

"Better than before, but still not good Ted," Eric admitted showing his concern, "I need you to discreetly find Roy DeSoto for me. He is captain for station 91 A shift and is here. Roy is his best friend and if anyone needed a friend now it's Johnny. Tell him what has happened, and be sure he knows about us having to restrain him. He needs to know the state Cap is in, okay?" Eric slipped calling his captain by his first name. Ted said nothing, it wasn't important enough to bother with today. Any other time, Eric would have been in for some serious hassling.

"Sure, you got it Eric, I'll be back as soon as I can," Ted answered as he hurried off on his mission glad for something to do.

Al and Richard, the two paramedics, had been talking to a neighboring engineer about the rescue efforts. Eric signaled to them to return. He gathered the remaining members of the crew. "I sent Ted to find Roy DeSoto." The others nodded understanding why he would do so. "I need you all to keep others away from Captain Gage, no one needs to see him that way, got it? Since we can't help with the rescue, we need to get out the word about JJ Gage. Let someone on each crew know that his wife is on the plane and is five months pregnant. She should be easy to spot. Two of us will stay here and the other two will spread the word. Al and Richard you two are going to spread the word. I want Eddie here in case Cap tries to run for the plane again." The others nodded in agreement. The wiry Captain Gage had been surprisingly strong and hard to control when he'd struggled against his men.

The private planes landed in an area away from the commercial flights. Still the thick smoke and flames were evident from the air and JJ said a prayer for the passengers and firefighters. It wasn't until she landed JJ wondered what was on fire. She grabbed her purse and carry-on and went down the steps to the tarmac.

Johnny followed the progress through his HT. The constant chatter and detailed information was both helpful and horrific. All the extraneous information about ladder truck placements, hose sizes, placement of men, station numbers, air drops to prevent fires from spreading helped feed his ravenous thoughts. Thoughts that otherwise would feed on him, eating him alive, preying on his fears for JJ and the baby. In between the routine commands he'd begin to worry. Were they trapped, choking on noxious fumes? Was JJ injured, in pain and calling for him? Was she burning, flames licking at her body and skin bubbling from the heat? Was she among the bodies strewn about the fuselage, already dead and battered beyond recognition? Johnny gritted his teeth in distress, helplessness, and frustration. His hands ground into the asphalt, abrading his palms. At least _that_ pain distracted him from the other.

Ted had located Captain DeSoto and filled him in. Roy's face had grown ashen when he heard the news. His blue eyes clouded when Ted described how they had to restrain Johnny. He had taken an HT with him and placed his engineer in charge of the crew. Roy had already given orders and his men would follow them. Any new concerns could be relayed to him via the HT or could be addressed by his seasoned engineer. He hurried across the pavement and grass towards Johnny and slowed down as he drew near to engine 110. Eric motioned to where Johnny sat and Roy approached his friend. Johnny was still, so still. The normally restless man sat, motionless. His helmet with the white stripe discarded haphazardly by his hip. Johnny's hair was disheveled from him running his hands through it, eyes desolate. Johnny's features were contorted from anguish . Roy felt sick to his stomach seeing his friend like this. What could he say to him? Roy knew what _he_ would be feeling if he was in John's place. Nothing could be said to really help. So Roy did what he could. He quietly sat down and placed a hand on John's shoulder. John broke the silence, "Roy, she has to be okay and our baby…" Johnny's voice broke and he stopped mid-sentence. He buried his face in his hands. Roy's own throat felt thick and he swallowed back his own emotions. His blue eyes betrayed his concern for his friend and they were wet with sadness.

"John," he only called him John on rare occasions, "there are a lot of survivors. We'll find her. It will be fine, you'll see." Johnny didn't reply. Roy felt less confident than he sounded. Many of the passengers had been found. A few still needed to be extracted, and some were beyond help. No accounting for all passengers had been completed as of yet. It was too early in the effort. He sat by his friend for a while in silence, his presence saying more than any words he could muster. He had pulled Johnny into his side, his arm around Johnny's shoulders. After a time of quiet, Roy broke the silence. "I'm sorry, I gotta get back John. Word's out, they are all looking for her, we'll find her soon." Roy didn't add he'd already checked all the casualties recovered so far looking for JJ before coming to see Johnny. Roy didn't want him to think about that possibility now, but to remain positive. He had been relieved she wasn't among them. He gave Johnny a half hug, placed his hand on his head briefly, and Roy reluctantly stood up and walked back towards his own crew.

As she entered the smaller terminal, JJ saw the television and the continuous report about the crash. Fear gripped her when she saw it had been her flight, the one she'd missed. Her only thought was of Johnny and if he was aware it had been her flight or was on the scene. She asked where a pay phone was located and called Johnny's station. There was no answer. She tried twice feeling more frantic with each unanswered ring. The likelihood of him being at this fire was high considering there was no answer at the station and the proximity of the station to the airport.

She grabbed the nearest employee and begged to be taken to the staging area. After explaining who she was, one of the mechanics agreed to take her. "The radios aren't to be used for anything but rescue operations, or I'd just call over," he explained. The regular phone lines to the airport were clogged with frantic relatives calling for information. They quickly sped away on a luggage truck sans the trailers with the mechanic driving.

The staging area was vast and marked off with vehicles and other barriers. JJ scanned for any police officer she might know and spotted Vince. "Vince," she called hopping off the truck before it stopped. She called back a thank-you to the driver and kept running. After a condensed explanation, Vince arranged for her to be allowed through. He confirmed that Johnny's station was somewhere on scene. JJ began to scan the engines for numbers. The first person she saw she knew was Roy. She recognized him from behind and called to him. "Roy, Roy," she cried in panic running toward him. "Is John here? I missed the flight." Roy had been returning to his own engine.

Stunned and pale, Roy turned and rushed forward to hug JJ. "What? How did you get here? You got out okay?" His words ran together and he hugged her again with relief automatically starting to assess her condition and confused that she was carrying her purse and carry on bag.

"No, no. Traffic issues, I missed the flight. My editor got me on a private plane by pulling strings. It happened so quickly I couldn't call." She pushed him away realizing he was checking her condition. "I'm fine. You don't need to do that. Roy, John is here, right? Does he think I was on….?"

"He does," Roy confirmed. "The chief won't allow him to help or the station to help. They called for a relief captain. Eric has an eye on him. "I just saw him a while ago. Eric sent for me. Come on, I'll take you to him," Roy said leading the way pulling her by her hand.

Roy navigated the maze of equipment and hoses with JJ right behind. He pointed to where John had been and then stopped to fill in the chief with the latest developments. JJ continued towards station 110's vehicles.

"Thank God she missed her flight," Chief White said to Roy after the short explanation. "I'd called for a replacement for the rest of the shift so his station could help. He was filling in for his relief. John was supposed to be off, you know, to pick her up. I'm going to send him home anyway. What a hell of a homecoming, I can't even imagine and her pregnant and… " he finished with a shake of his head. He then turned back to coordinating the rescues and fires. The chief continued to work and walked off toward engine 110 to talk to Eric Miller.

Eric spotted her first then the other men. They ran to her looking for injuries, hugging her each in turn. She dropped her carry on and purse. Because of the din, their greetings were drowned out and inaudible unless you were within a foot or so.

"I'm fine fellas, just fine. Roy already checked," she protested trying to hasten this reunion and get to Johnny. "Where's John?" she asked addressing Eric. She knew that he was considered second in command.

"Cap is over here, Jay" Eric said escorting her to the more private area, "Man, I am so glad you are okay. You don't even smell like smoke." He grinned, relieved to see JJ and relieved for his captain. They still believed she had been on the doomed TWA flight and had somehow walked away. She didn't explain. There would be plenty of time for that later. "Jay, he's pretty messed up. Just so you're prepared," Eric had added.

Janey stopped as she rounded the back of the engine, her hand automatically cradling her belly when she saw him. John sat on the ground between the engine and squad, shoulders slumped, knees apart and folded up with his arms bent with forearms on top of his knees and his head resting on his hands. His HT was on the ground between his feet, giving a blow by blow account of the rescues. When a code F was announced, he hit the side of the squad parked across from him with his open palm, crumpled up and quietly sobbed. She could she that the palms were moved quickly towards the front of the engine. She pressed her back against the engine and slid down beside John. Pulling him into her arms, she held him close beginning to cry herself. Speaking softly through her tears she told him, "I am fine love, there was heavy traffic in New York, I missed the flight, we are both fine." Johnny clung to her and placed his hand over the baby. He looked up, face wet, agony plain.

"I was afraid I'd lost you, you both. I thought you were gone," he choked out. JJ cried feeling guilty that she had not taken time to call, or asked them to wait a minute before they took off so she could. She just stroked his hair, kissed him, held him. Johnny's head was pressed against her shoulder with one arm gripping JJ tightly to him and the other gently resting on the swell of their child who kicked and moved stimulated by his/her mother's adrenaline.

"It's okay, I'm here love. I'm so sorry. I should have called," she repeated until he was calm.

"You couldn't have known. You couldn't have known. You're here and okay I'm so glad to see you Janey. So glad." He kept smoothing her hair, touching her face like he was checking to see if she was really there.

"John, I could have been on that plane," JJ said in horror realizing how close she'd come, within 10 minutes actually.

"Janes," he said when he was able, "You're here and okay," and he kissed her mouth softly as if she might break and pressed another kiss to her stomach.

The announcement was quickly passed from engine to engine that one of their own's wife was safe. Al and Eddie had cheerfully volunteered to get the word out. The chief had let Eric know he was acting captain until relief showed for Johnny. He had ordered the men to their duties, after they had spread the word JJ was safe. After giving Jay and Johnny some time, Eric walked around the engine to let his captain know he was off for the rest of the shift since a replacement had already been requested. He accidentally witnessed the last tender moment and somehow that soft kiss was more personal that a more passionate one. Eric felt like a voyeur, a peeping Tom and flushed. "Captain," he began clearing his throat shifting from foot to foot in embarrassment. John looked up slightly amused at his engineer's discomfort. "Chief said you should go home. Your replacement is on the way."

"Thanks Eric," he smiled. "One hellava day, huh?"

"Yes Cap, but it got hellava lot better."


	30. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 the Brice Affair

Johnny sat in a captain's meeting struggling to look attentive. Most of the meetings had been informative, helpful, and important; in the past paying attention had not been an issue. This one was training on paramedics and their function and place in a station. There had been some retirements recently and a few captains were being promoted. In fact, soon Hank Stanley was moving up to battalion chief. The department was also promoting a lot of new captains and was adding more paramedic teams to stations that hadn't ever had them before as well. So it wasn't like the training wasn't warranted. He'd noted even Roy seemed bored and for him to let it show was rare. Roy was sitting on one side of Johnny and Hank Stanley on the other. It wasn't the topic really that was so boring. Yeah he knew most of this of course, but seeing it from a captain's viewpoint on a crew was a different twist. The biggest issue was who was doing the training. They powers that be didn't pick Dr. Brackett, Dwyer, or a dozen other paramedics who would have done a terrific job. Shoot, Henry would have been more stimulating than this. No, they had chosen Brice; Craig Brice who could turn a slide show about Raquel Welch into a snooze fest. Johnny saw Roy looking at him. When Brice turned to point at a flow chart he'd made, Roy had rolled his eyes expressively at Johnny. Johnny had just started to take a sip of java and choked on his mouthful of coffee when he'd begun to laugh and tried to stifle it. "Captain Gage, do you require medical assistance?" Craig had asked pompously. Johnny just waved him off and hid his grin behind a napkin he'd grabbed to catch the bit of brew that had spewed as he'd laughed at Roy's eye roll.

"I just swallowed wrong Craig, I didn't aspirate for cryin' out loud! Please continue with your, uh, your, well keep going," Johnny said irritably as he waved one hand in the air to indicate to Brice to continue. He didn't want to call it training, it was more like torture and he refused to acknowledge the ridiculous flow chart.

Captain Stanley was sitting right by Johnny and leaned over to whisper when Craig turned back around and droned on, "John, that was the most interesting thing that has happened during this entire presentation and we all thank you pal," he whispered as he acted like he was patting Johnny back to help with his choking. Johnny just smirked in reply. He could see Roy's eyes sparkling with mirth in his peripheral vision but didn't turn to make eye contact. Johnny had had enough attention for one meeting.

Afterward, Roy walked out with Johnny. "Nice job in there Junior," he joked, "I needed a break from that idiotic flow chart. Where in heaven's name did he think that nonsense up?"

"Oh hush!" Johnny shot back. "You and everyone else were grateful for the break in the torture. Shoot even Hank thanked me and didn't call me a twit," he finished with a lopsided grin. "You started it anyway Roy. Besides that flow chart was just bologna. Could he have found a more ridiculous presentation or more inane cluster of information? Craig Brice needs a brain transplant or maybe just a brain," quipped Johnny.

Roy chuckled. "Only you could take a quiet eye roll and make a training stop, Johnny, only you," he teased.

"Well you're welcome Pally," he replied with a wide grin, "And I'm pretty sure that was torture, not training."

Roy laughed, "Good point."

Johnny walked into his home and called out, "Janes, I'm back; where are you?" He stopped to scratch Dudley behind his ears as the feline lay sprawled out on the floor in a pool of sunshine. "Hey Duds, don't strain yourself buddy," he teased. Dudley just flicked his ears in reply.

"Back here," she called out. He followed her voice to the room they were turning into a nursery. He walked into the room still dressed in his uniform from the meeting. "John, look at this tiny sleeper, isn't it just...," she was saying when she turned around and abruptly stopped mid-sentence. "Mm, mm, mm, still in your uniform. I just _love_ you in uniform," she said as she set the tiny green sleeper down taking in a long, long look. Johnny shifted his weight from one foot to the other self-conscientiously. JJ slipped her arms around her husband's waist continuing to speak. "Irresistible," she finished giving him a kiss. Johnny just smiled goofily.

"Is that any way for a pregnant woman to act?" he answered teasing, gently brushing her hair back and tucking it behind her ears as they stood in an embrace. His other hand gripped her waist, and then slipped down to cup her behind.

"How did you think I got this way Captain?" she replied running her fingers through his hair. "Now, come over here and see what the McLaughlin's brought by," JJ added pulling him by his hand and showing him the sleeper and set of infant socks. Johnny huffed out a half-hearted groan of protest but followed her. JJ had spent her time that morning putting away the many little outfits, socks, blankets and other assorted gifts they had gotten so far for their first child. "Oh, I also cut out the pieces for the baby quilt," JJ added pointing to a pile of cut fabric in green and yellow.

"Wow, I never get over how small these are!" Johnny said as he examined the sleeper then smiled softly. "Janey, you have been busy. I would have much rather been here helping you than at that training," Johnny admitted.

It surprised JJ since Johnny rarely complained about his job responsibilities. Well, the paperwork part he did, but not anything else. "Was it that bad? I thought you were excited about the addition of more paramedic teams," JJ replied.

"I was and I am, but it was _who_ did the training, Angel. I just spent the morning listening to the ramblings of Craig Brice and looking at his idiotic flow chart. I swear he could make a slide show of Raquel Welch boring." JJ laughed because she knew he probably could. "Roy made a face that made me laugh and I choked on my coffee and then Brice tried to render medical help. 'Course I think the other captains were grateful for the short break from the torture," Johnny explained his voice becoming strident when he got to the Brice part and he ended with a chuckle. Johnny's face got serious again and he puffed in exasperation. "Must be great to 'know' everything all the time," he groused.

Just hearing Craig's name explained it all. She hadn't believed all the stories about him even when Roy had weighed in. They had said he was very knowledgeable and competent as far as medical techniques were concerned. However, he had no rapport with people and was the absolute definition of annoying. However at the annual LA County Fire Department picnic, JJ had met him, and been subject to Brice's 'help' with writing. He had gone on and on giving his unsolicited advice about her writing, critiquing her first novel and pointing out what he saw as flaws thinking he was helping her. None of it was warranted or even remotely helpful, but simply trite repetition of things he most likely had read in some writing style book for a low level college class by some hack. He had been beyond exasperating and didn't take a hint to stop. Changing the subject didn't work either. JJ felt sorry for Craig Brice, to a point but totally understood what Johnny was saying.

JJ refolded the tiny sleeper, placed it in the bureau and slid the drawer shut. "Come on love, you change out of your uniform and I'll start lunch," JJ said starting for the kitchen.

"Hey, I thought I was irresistible?" Johnny called out in jest.

"You are, but only if I am not starving. Your kid just ordered lunch," she told him touching her stomach.

After he changed into jeans, a button up shirt and hung up his uniform, Johnny walked into the kitchen in stocking feet and set the table. After a lunch of tuna salad sandwiches, carrot and celery sticks, chips and a fruit salad, the couple did dishes. As they finished, JJ flung the tea towel she was using for drying over her shoulder and hugged Johnny from behind. "Don't think I forgot how delicious you looked in that uniform," she whispered into his ear and he chuckled seductively, "Oh and that lawn out there won't mow itself love," she whispered as she kissed his neck.

Johnny just groaned, kissed his wife and the baby bump, slipped into his 'chore' shoes he kept by the back door and then went out back towards the garage and the mower.

JJ weeded the flower beds in the areas where Johnny had mowed and then took a nap with Dudley. John mowed and let his mind wander. The training had been a real bust. He wondered what made Craig Brice such a know-it-all. Johnny knew a lot about some things and a little about others, but he had a huge list of things he knew nothing about. He sighed. Yeah, he knew nothing about a lot of things for sure. His mind began to tick off that list: women, opera, modern art, reading music, ballet, and the list went on. The most current and pressing thing was babies and more specifically raising one. Johnny was over the moon excited about the baby, but he was a bit worried about the practical aspects of being a father. He had checked out several books on the subject and was reading them as well as talking to Roy about it all. Of course, Roy assured him he would do just fine. Johnny wished he could be surer. He finished the mowing and then trimmed up against the house, garage and fence. Johnny sprayed off the mower and pushed it into its place in the garage and hung up the weed trimmer on the wall. He smelled dinner already in the oven when he came in at 3:30. He found JJ curled up on the couch with a book. "Meatloaf is in the oven John and I put out a fresh towel for you in the bathroom."

"Thanks Janey. I ate a lot of dust and grass clippings," he said as he headed for the shower. He was out shortly in a pair of shorts and t-shirt toweling his wet hair. "That is _so_ much better!"

Johnny flopped onto the couch and flipped on the TV to check what was on sports-wise. A game droned on in the background as JJ continued to read. Occasionally the drone was punctuated by an exclamation or groan indicating Johnny's reaction to the game.

Dinner was early and the Gage's cleaned up the dishes and put away the leftovers. He patted his stomach, "Excellent dinner Angel. I'll change and we can go out to care for the horses, okay?"

John put on another pair of jeans and shirt, pulled on socks and a pair of canvas shoes and they jumped in the Rover for a trip out to the ranch. The horses were quickly cared for and bedded down for the night.

"You up for a stroll, Mrs. Gage?" Johnny asked her.

"Absolutely," JJ answered. They walked towards the stream holding hands. About half way there, Johnny turned to his wife.

"Janes, can I ask you something?" he started.

"Of course love, anything," she answered lightly.

"Do you ever wonder about being a good mom? I mean if you'll know what to do and all?"

JJ stopped and looked at Johnny a bit confused. "Well sure, of course I do. Then I remember all the other people in the world that have had babies and those babies have survived," she smiled and chuckled. "I figure it'll be fine. I guess it helps I did quite a bit of babysitting." However one look at Johnny and she realized he wasn't as lighthearted.

"John, what's this about? You worried about the baby?"

"Well, I am very aware I know little about parenting and even less about being a father. I hardly remember my own and grew up mostly without one. So, how am I to know what I need to do? Yeah, I've read books and even talked to Roy, but still it kinda eats at me, you know?" John's eyebrows were knitted with concern.

JJ stopped and hugged him tightly. "John, just being worried about it speaks to your ability in a positive way don't you think? Love, you already have shown many of your parenting skills with Jenny and Chris. The way you relate to them and how much they love you speak volumes. Plus, no matter how great your parents are or were; it's still scary. It's not like parenting is a set road map. Every child is different so it changes. I don't have any concerns about your capability to be a father, John. Not a one."

"I hear Roy or you tell me that, but I still wonder about it," he answered with a shrug. "Sometimes it must be great to be like Brice and 'know it all'," Johnny mused only half joking.

"If the time comes you EVER think you know it all John Gage, then I'll worry," JJ stated her eyebrows shooting up to emphasize her point. Johnny grinned. "Anyway we've gotten off the subject," JJ told him seriously and he looked up with concern having no idea what she meant, "Which is how irresistible you are," she told him playfully.

"Really?" Johnny queried a lopsided grin blooming on his face.

"Uh huh, totally and absolutely, especially in that uniform-delicious," JJ said her fingers walking up his arms to his shoulders. "Completely, utterly irresistible," she said pulling him closer; her arms going around his neck. "No use fighting it, you know."

"Well, if there is no way to avoid it," Johnny said weakly his eyes smiling while he tried to keep his face serious, "Who am I to make waves?" He looked into her eyes. JJ kissed him and when they broke apart he leaned in and kissed her again more deeply, his fingers in her hair. Johnny smiled his eyes soft and his voice low, "Love you Janes." He laced his fingers on his right hand with her left and they strolled on to the stream; his thumb making lazy sweeps over the side of her hand.


	31. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 Operation Gage **

Eric cornered Ted and Richard. "Fellas," he began, "Cap is getting antsy about the baby." They nodded in agreement also aware that Captain Gage had not seemed his normal jovial self as of late. "So we are going to create some distractions for him and I need your help." The three plotted the first distraction.

After breakfast on their next shift, Richard pulled out the paperback crossword book and began working on a puzzle. Al was reading a medical manual and had been clued in to the plan. Johnny was finishing up a cup of coffee before heading to his office. Eddie was working on the dishes and Eric was drying. Ted was reading the paper. "Hmm," Richard mused aloud, "An eight letter word meaning naïve or innocent, third letter is l." Silence followed.

Eddie remarked as he finished up the dishes, "How about gullible?" Eric turned away to hide his smirk, the hook was set.

"Huh," Richard hedged at first then added, "Yep that fits, thanks Eddie."

As he wrote the letters into the squares Ted remarked, "Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?" to no one in particular.

Al stopped reading and said, "I did. Strange, huh?"

Eric chimed in, "Really? I didn't know that." Johnny looked up, his BS meter alarm ringing.

Eddie hung the wet tea towel up and turned around. "It is too in the dictionary," he insisted.

Ted, who always exuded confidence, repeated, "No Eddie, it isn't." Al agreed.

"It is too," Eddie insisted not believing what he was hearing. "Cap, do you have a dictionary in your office," Eddie asked.

Johnny nodded, "Yep, help yourself Eddie." Johnny had a strong suspicion Eddie was being set up. Eddie returned quickly with the book already open flipping to the g's.

"See it's right here," Eddie insisted, "gullible, means naïve, innocent, easily fooled."

The snickers started with Richard and Ted. Soon Al joined in and then Eric. Johnny smirked and finally Eddie caught up with the rest of them. "Har, har guys. Oh so funny," he told them sarcastically as he turned on his heel quickly to return the dictionary to the office. As soon as he left, the entire group busted up.

Johnny got up with a smile on his face heading for his office. He patted Eddie on the shoulder as he passed in consolation. Eddie continued sullenly back to the dorm to change sheets. In the common room, Eric gave the others a thumb up for a mission accomplished. Then he headed for the dorms for a talk with Eddie.

The klaxon sounded 20 minutes later calling the squad out of a man down. While they were gone Eddie and Eric had a talk. Feelings were smoothed over and the next plan was concocted with Eddie included and Al not.

Al had a thing for orange juice. The single Italian man claimed it increased his stamina with the ladies. This claim made all the others roll their eyes in exasperation. Whenever Al came back from a run he'd chug a big glass of orange juice, if there was any to be had. So Ted made sure he had a nice fresh pitcher. Al and Richard breezed in from their run, which had turned out to be a simple sprained ankle of an 72 year old man trying to show his grandson how to jump hurdles. Richard was pulled to the side by Ted. Al walked into the common room and looked in the fridge for something cold to drink thinking he'd have to settle for milk. "Orange juice!" he exclaimed happily removing the pitcher. He got a large glass and poured a generous portion. Al smiled broadly, "I've got a hot date tomorrow so I gotta keep up my strength," he bragged. The others rolled their eyes, but not so much that they lost sight of their crew mate. Al tipped the glass and chugged a large mouth full. His countenance shifted from bliss to revulsion as he scurried to the sink and spat out the juice. "What the hell?" Al sputtered and the others cracked up.

Johnny gasped out, "I think you've been had pally," as he pointed to the far corner of the counter top. Al walked over and picked up an open box of macaroni and cheese noting the cheese packet was missing.

Al glowered, "Oh you guys are a real gas." The others were laughing so hard they couldn't sit up straight.

Ted asked, "What that juice not macho enough for you buddy?"

Al answered, "Shut up," and stomped off in a huff to the locker room. A new gale of laughter erupted as the others noted Al's teeth were coated with orange goo. Richard finally calmed himself. Still smiling he shrugged at the others and followed his partner into the locker room.

The station had several routine runs that morning for trash fires, kitchen fires and fender benders. It was close to lunch before the klaxons sounded signaling a more serious run. "Factory fire, 2389 Industrial Road, 2389 Industrial Road, cross street Vance, time out 11:41." Johnny had written down the information and used the mike to reply. The squad pulled out first with Eric following in the engine. Arriving first on scene, they found the building billowing smoke and flames shooting from the second floor. A group of people were filling around out front and several ran towards the vehicles. Johnny jumped out to meet the two men and one woman.

"Did everyone get out?" he asked.

The woman answered, "Mostly, but there are three people that were on the third floor that couldn't get down the stairs. One of the workers is in a wheelchair and the other two wouldn't leave him behind. They are by that open window," she finished pointing.

Johnny began giving orders for lines to be laid and used to fight the flames. He also called for a ladder truck to help with the rescues along with an ambulance. He noted a smaller building to the left of the factory that almost reached the top of the factory. He ordered Al and Richard to look for a way to get to the top of the factory from there so they could pull the three trapped victims up to the roof, lower them to the roof of the smaller building and then to safety. Once they had found a way up to the factory roof, Johnny took stokes to the other building roof and coordinated through the HT from there. Eddie went up to the factory roof to man the ropes with Richard while Al rappelled down to the window to begin the extractions. By the time the three victims had been pulled up to the roof, the ladder truck had arrived and sped up the process of getting the victims to safety. Fortunately, the three only suffered minor smoke inhalation. The ambulance carried the three to Rampart and the engine remained for 45 minutes to extinguish the fire and mop up. They got back in time for a cold, but much appreciated lunch made by Al.

That afternoon the squad performed some return inspections for some local businesses that had needed to correct some violations and they made a run to Rampart for some supplies. It was a quiet afternoon so Johnny got ample time to work on his paperwork. The engine crew worked on some routine maintenance items and then found themselves with some free time. It was Eddie pulled the last prank of the shift. He ran to the store for supplies for dinner and picked up one extra item. Dinner was grilled burgers and after dinner, Johnny had slipped away to his office to call and check on JJ.

"Hey beautiful, how's the family tonight," he'd cooed into the phone again happy for the relative privacy of his office.

"We are missing you, but doing just fine. The baby has been doing calisthenics all evening, but is at least not doing them on my bladder," she joked. "Right now Dudley is playing a rousing game of fetch with a partly crushed ping pong ball," she answered. "How's your shift been?"

"Pretty slow actually, Johnny replied, "I did learn something though. Did you know gullible isn't in the dictionary?" he'd ventured.

"Yeah, I wasn't born yesterday slick," she'd laughed. "I'll bet Eddie fell for that huh?"

Johnny chuckled, "Oh you know it. Then someone made orange juice for Al using powered cheese. Now were not sure if he'll be able to make his date tomorrow."

JJ laughed, "Eww, that is just gross, funny, but gross. I imagine Romeo will manage somehow."

"You should have seen his teeth afterwards, orange is NOT his color," Johnny joked as he chuckled. "Janes, I love you, you know."

"I've sensed that," she teased. "I love you John. Watch your back love. Water bombs might be next," she said. Johnny just laughed and made a kissing sound into the phone before he hung up. Eric had just been about to knock on the door and heard the sound. As he opened the door to hand in the project Johnny had assigned him, he set the report down on Johnny's desk and turned to leave. Right as he reached the door, Eric turned and blew his captain a kiss. Johnny rolled his eyes. "You must like latrine duty Miller," Johnny answered back trying to act angry. Eric put his arms up in mock defeat and quickly retreated.

It wasn't until the next morning the proverbial doody hit the fan. The night had only brought one call for a garage fire so the men were fairly rested by the morning. Coffee had been started when a yell was heard out of the head. An upset Eric stormed out into the bay, froth covering his mouth and dripping down his face. "Who did fwis? Not fwunny!" Of course it was hilarious and the men were all laughing.

Johnny strode across the bay and asked, "What are you talking about? Why do you sound so strange Miller?" while working to keep a straight face.

"My mowf is numb Cwap," Eric answered wincing since Cap had sounded like crap. Only Eddie ducked into the kitchen as Johnny came out of his office, so he suspected he had actually set this trap. Impressive Johnny thought. "Someone pwut Orajel in my toofpaste," Eric complained drooling.

Johnny reached over to pull the towel off Eric's shoulder and wiped off his engineer's chin. Eric snatched it back embarrassed. Johnny held up his hands and walked back to his office. As soon as his door closed he laughed until tears rolled down his cheeks.


	32. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 Surprises and Secrets**

Johnny finally was able to pull off the secret visit from Elaine Matthews. Elaine came in mid-April for a surprise visit. "Elaine!?" JJ exclaimed as she ran forward to hug her friend. JJ was quite astounded and pleased. She beamed at her husband. "John, you are getting pretty dang good at secrets! I had no clue you were cooking this up," she'd happily told him after he'd waltzed into their home with Elaine in tow one Sunday afternoon.

"JJ you don't even know how good," Elaine had said emphatically. "We have been trying for three months to pick a time I could get away!"

After an enthusiastic thank you kiss for Johnny from JJ, the two ladies linked arms as JJ showed Elaine the guest room. After she settled in, they all had chatted over ice tea on the back patio. They talked a bit of business, but mostly Elaine shared funny stories from her trip.

Johnny worked from Monday morning to Tuesday morning. His shift responded to three automobile accidents, a rescue of two men trapped and hurt on a high rise construction site, three trash fires, two heart attack calls and a gas leak as well as a house fire. The gas leak was pretty dicey. Arriving on scene they found the building cleared. Johnny sent in Al and Richard to open windows to air out the building. Johnny went in to turn off the pilot light and Eric was sent to turn off the gas at the meter. All of this was completed with no incident. The power company was called to cut electrical power as well. Eddie and Ted pulled hose lines and Eric readied the pumps. However, apparently static electricity from the very dry air sparked an explosion as the men left the structure throwing Johnny and Al violently to the ground. The phone rang at the Gage house and Elaine answered since JJ's arms were elbow deep in dishwater. "JJ, it's Eric from the station for you," she said not knowing what that might mean. JJ rushed to the phone dripping sudsy water all over the floor.

"Eric, what's happened?" JJ asked and Elaine suddenly understood what the call meant.

"Jay, calm down now he's fine. There was an explosion at a natural gas leak. Al and Johnny were caught in the blast and knocked down. Both were briefly unconscious but are awake and alert now. It's just a precaution to have them checked out. Johnny wanted me to call," Eric explained. "We are taking them to Rampart."

JJ took a breath and blew it out. "So Eric, how serious it is?" She'd made a deal with him to be forthcoming with her and she'd not go hysterical on him.

"I think they will release him to work Jay. He may have a hell of a headache is all, really." Eric said. "I promise to call if it is anything more and Johnny will call you later."

"Okay, I'll wait. I don't want to hover or look needy Eric," JJ admitted.

"Jay, no one thinks that. If you need to come, not one of us will think anything of the sort. Of course not coming is fine as well. The guys love you—as long as you keep bringing us treats," he'd said ending playfully.

"Oh, well it's good to know how highly they care," she'd laughed. "Thanks Eric and try to keep him outta trouble."

"I always do Jay, but he has a gift for it."

Elaine was more shook up than JJ about the call. "'Laine, I've had a few of these. Stitches, sprains, and explosions are part of the territory. The worst was the brush fire he got caught in," she blanched just thinking about that. "You learn to deal with it as you go, but you never like it. Let's do some baking and we'll take rolls to the guys. We are cooking and freezing meals anyway." Elaine had been helping JJ cook some meals to freeze ahead. A few They delivered them to the appreciative men. "This way I can see Johnny without looking too lame," JJ said with a wink.

The women had dropped by the station with sweet rolls a few hours later. The squad was out on one of the heart attack calls. Eddie smiled broadly. "Far out JJ! You ladies joining us?" he'd offered after introductions.

"Eddie, I appreciate it, but honestly we sampled some at home. You guys dig in, okay? Where's John?" she'd replied as Elaine sat the pans on the table and started looking for plates for the guys. Ted and Eric started a new pot of coffee and engaged Elaine in polite conversation.

"I think he's in his office, JJ," Eddie had answered already having a mouthful of roll shoveled in.

JJ walked through the bay to Johnny's office and found the door slightly ajar. With a quiet knock, she eased it open. Johnny was at his desk, his head on the top. He looked up sleepily as she entered. "Hey Janes, I tried to call just a bit ago. Now I know why you didn't answer," he said with a strained smile.

"Hey love, your head hurtin' pretty bad huh? You can lie down in the dorm. The men wouldn't mind tough guy," JJ told him as she walked around the desk. She massaged his neck a bit.

"Umm, that is heavenly, Angel" he murmured as he put his head back down. He rarely used the pet name in a public setting. JJ knew he felt lousy. "The aspirin will kick in soon. Did I hear the guys say something about rolls?"

"Yes, but they'll save you some John," JJ told him as she continued to rub his neck. Pretty soon he was asleep. She kissed his head softly and snuck out pulling the door shut. Eric spied her as she came out of his captain's office. "Let Sleeping Beauty be for a bit, okay?" She patted Eric on the shoulder and gave him a conspiratorial smile. "Apparently it is manlier to sleep at your desk than to give in and use your bunk," she joked with an eye roll. Eric nodded.

"One of the first things taught in training Jay," he'd replied.

That week the ladies had attended a few book readings at the university and did a little shopping. Mostly, they just enjoyed being together and visiting. When Johnny was working, Elaine accompanied JJ on her walks. When he was home, she allowed the couple to walk alone and Elaine jogged. Elaine told some antidotes she had on JJ and herself on the evenings the three were together.

Tuesday evening, she had shared one such tale. "Not long after she came to New York, I took JJ out to a club. She did not want to go, but I insisted. You know how she is, so solitary and quiet. I wanted her to get out and meet people. As we walked in, I saw an ex-boyfriend of mine and contemplated leaving. JJ told me we _would_ stay, have a good time and ignore the jerk. We had fun, danced a bit, and met a couple of guys. The evening looked like it might get better. Unfortunately, that jerk told those guys we were escorts and when they starting asking about price she and I had to sneak out the back of the club." Elaine said.

"Made me feel so 'confident' being misidentified as a prostitute," JJ deadpanned. "They thought that only because you wore that skimpy outfit, you know," JJ had added still giggling at ridiculousness of the situation. "I swear that dress was really a top 'Laine."

Elaine rolled her eyes, laughed and waved her explanation away saying to Johnny, "No it wasn't and it _was _Len that told them "Len was a guy I had dated and dumped for being a player told. Stop telling tales JJ."

JJ smiled, enjoying the rise she gotten out her friend. "Oh yeah, I think I remember that now. Len, yeah that sounds familiar," she replied acting like she had forgotten tapping a figure to her temple.

Elaine grimaced. "Uh huh," she answered good naturedly.

Johnny's favorite story had been the one she told Wednesday afternoon when they had been sitting out back on patio. "There was this one guy at the publisher had it bad for JJ back when she wrote as Lana Swoon. He'd tried everything to get her to go out with him. Remember Alan?" Elaine remarked looking at JJ.

"Oh my yes, how could I _forget_? Alan what a bizarre one he was!" She turned to address Johnny, "He'd talk in rhyme at the office to try to impress me-really disturbing." JJ placed her hand on Elaine's arm exclaiming, "Oh remember when he gave me a sculpture of the Statue of Liberty he made from chewing gum. Told me he had to chew 53 packs of gum to make it. He swore he shellacked it, but ewwww!" Johnny snorted at the thought. "And NO I didn't keep it."

"Chewing gum?" John repeated incredulous. "Really? I don't feel nearly as lame about my dating past. I never gave anyone a chewing gum sculpture!" he'd joked.

"JJ couldn't be mean to him. She was just too kind. Alan thought it meant she liked him. How many times did you tell him no, JJ?" Elaine had asked between chuckles.

"At least seven different times and then I stopped counting," JJ said sighing and shaking her head in disbelief. "I felt sorry for him, but not enough to go out with him," she said emphatically. "I can't even imagine what he might have thought up for a date," she groaned. "John, he finally decided the best way to get my attention was during a baseball game I attended with Elaine. Alan heard us talking about it as I left a meeting with her. Alan came to that game and during a time out he streaked across the field with a sign asking me to go out," JJ said blushing. Johnny's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Yeah, wrong move for several reasons," Elaine added laughing. "Not only would she not even talk to him after that, JJ couldn't even look at him. JJ covered her face sniggering. "Plus he really didn't display any assets worth mentioning," JJ punched Elaine on the arm.

"That's your observation 'Laine. You were the one sitting forward in your seat. I was the one trying to hide under mine," JJ retorted. "That was beyond awkward, sheesh."

"Well take my word for it, you missed very _little_," Elaine quipped and they all cracked up. "Alan is dating a clothes buyer from an eclectic boutique now. She is as strange as he; they're a match made in heaven. All the single ladies at the publisher are relieved."

Johnny had gained an appreciation of Elaine during her visit. She was smart, funny and a loyal friend to JJ. The tall, blond editor was as outgoing and bold as JJ was introverted and demure. A year older than he, Elaine had a youthful vigor and energy that was contagious. She'd also been the one who had been there for JJ after the assault in New York and had helped her pick up the pieces and start again. Elaine was audacious and sometimes brazen, but held an appeal that kept you from being put off. Deep down, she was a solid and dependable woman who just said what was on her mind, a lot.

The week flew by and soon Elaine headed back to New York. The couple had accompanied her to the gate and saw her off. "John, thank you for doing that," JJ said hugging him as they walked from the gate back to the Rover. "I really enjoyed time with her here in LA."

"I'm glad she came too Angel," he'd replied kissing her on the top of the head. "I like her and how else would I know you were once courted by a streaker?" he'd teased.

The last Saturday in April, Johnny and JJ had Chris and Jenny overnight. Chris was practicing his batting and catching with Johnny in the yard. Inside, JJ was letting Jenny braid her hair. JJ was sitting as still as she could, but suddenly flinched from the baby jabbing her sharply in the ribs. "I'm so sorry Jenny. The baby just kicked me in the ribs," JJ told her in apology.

"It's okay. I need to start over anyway. French braiding is kinda hard," Jenny replied. "Can I feel the baby move again Aunt JJ?"

"Of course sweetie," JJ replied turning to face her. She placed Jenny's hand on the spot where her child was squirming and as if on cue a knee or elbow poked out.

"Oh! Gosh, did that hurt?" Jenny asked.

"Only when it is a kick in the ribs Jenny," JJ answered, "Mostly it is just kinda cool."

"Yeah, it is." Jenny was very quiet. "It will be different when the baby comes, huh? Uncle Johnny will have his own kid to play with then." Jenny moved to restart braiding JJ's hair. JJ turned back around so Jenny could work on her hair.

"Yes and he'll know just what to do after all the training you and Chris gave him Jenny. But you'll always be his Jenny Bean. He loves you and Chris so much. That will never ever change Jenny."

"Really? Actually I was a bit worried he wouldn't come around anymore. You know being busy with his own kid and all," she admitted.

Later in the evening, before JJ had a chance to talk to Johnny about Jenny's fears, JJ was engaged in a battle with Chris over a scintillating game of scrabble. Johnny had gone out to the porch with Jenny so they could read a book together in peace. Johnny ruffled Jenny's hair affectionately. "Jenny Bean, I sure do like when you read to me. Next time we need to color though. I secretly love to color in coloring books you know," he admitted with a shy grin.

"Yeah, I know and I've kept your secret Uncle Johnny," she answered smiling. "Should we read another book? I have one here," she offered showing him Goodnight Moon.

"Absolutely! Hey Jenny Bean, I hope you're willing to help me out with our new baby. I have been counting on you to not only help me with the baby, but to also let me take you out for Uncle dates when I need Jenny Bean time," Johnny hugged her as he finished.

"Uncle Johnny, have you been talking to Aunt JJ today?" Jenny asked.

He looked surprised and replied, "Just about when dinner was going to be and how I liked her hair braided, monkey. Why?"

"Um, nothing," Jenny answered with a smile. She kissed him on the cheek. "Okay, Goodnight Moon time."

Johnny grinned taking the book from her hand. "But this time I get to read aloud, okay monkey?"


	33. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30 Undeserving **

As the months passed, JJ grew larger. She liked being pregnant and feeling their child moving. Johnny especially loved to feel the baby kick or move. It was something he hadn't ever gotten to be a part of before. When he was home, they would lay in bed and watch their child's antics: a leg, elbow, head or behind would bulge out. At times it was almost rhythmic in motion ,and Johnny joked the baby was practicing it's drumming skills for a pow wow. Physically, she felt great. JJ only had light morning sickness for the first three months or so. However during the last trimester she began to feel huge and unattractive. Everywhere she went; young shapely women caught her attention. It wouldn't have been an issue without JJ's past. JJ had always secretly felt Johnny was out of her league. The handsome firefighter turned heads wherever they went with his striking looks and charming manner. He may not have an formal college degrees but he was quite intelligent and nimble minded as well. She knew she was smart as well. That wasn't the issue. JJ wasn't homely, but least in her estimation she was more well average and she bore acquaintance. She applied make up to her advantage and learned how to dress to flatter her figure. She had smaller breasts than was fashionable, clothes didn't always fit her because of it, and it had always nettled her. Comments from her school days had stuck in her mind. She struggled in new situations with people, was awkward.

JJ never worried that Johnny would cheat. It wasn't in his character. Plus he was very affectionate and she felt cherished. Johnny told her often she looked beautiful and complimented her. He made sure she knew how he felt, especially recently. He had been particularly attentive the past three months of her pregnancy. JJ knew these feelings came from only her. That made what she felt worse somehow. She just felt undeserving.

Johnny had noticed JJ's comments like "wide-load coming through" were more common in the past couple of months. He had heard enough conversations from new fathers to know that being pregnant could make a woman feel fat or ugly. Truth be told, he found his wife even lovelier and more desirable now than when he married her. He had made a point to compliment her appearance; he had even asked Joanne's advice on the matter.

Johnny was hyper alert these past shifts. The OB/GYN, Dr. Linden, had told them that the baby could come anytime now. He found it hard to concentrate on work at the station since his mind wandered to JJ and the baby and their welfare. Eric had recently taken to coming in and checking on Johnny's paperwork progress like an over watchful school master. Eric stepped in Saturday and grinned. "Cap, that's the same place you were 10 minutes ago. You'll never be done by end of shift so you can leave quickly." Eric continued to razz his captain in private about his frequent speedy exits. Johnny had begun to purposely schedule breakfast with his crew regularly to 'prove' Eric wrong. Eric would then just tease him he left quickly after breakfast. The other crew had ceased to comment now. After close to two years, it was just the norm. Secretly, Eric thought it was sweet, but it was fun to tease his captain.

"Oh shush," Johnny told him frustrated, "I know that!" He tried to keep a stern face, but it dissolved into a sheepish grin. Johnny ran his hand through his hair returning to his log work. "Twit," Johnny mumbled quoting his favorite captain. Eric just tapped the desk with his hand good naturedly and left. It had been one of those quiet shifts, with few calls. The calls they did get were routine. Johnny didn't want any disasters, but at least an unusual or quirky call would be welcomed. All they got were three more trash fires, a kid stuck up in a tree and a fender bender.

Even that night, they received no tones. Of course Johnny had trouble sleeping anyway. Well, it _had_ given him time to sneak out Eric's keys and a damaged shirt from his locker, open his car and place the cougar on his passenger seat. He'd broken out a couple of tines from a plastic fork and super-glued them on the front like fangs and then artfully arranged it on top of one of Eric's shirts. Eric had ripped the pocket half off while working under the engine during the shift, the third time he ripped a shirt that month. It was time for the cougar to make an appearance he thought with a smirk. Then Johnny had finally finished up his paperwork.

After the shift, he came home to find JJ had been crying. With enough medical knowledge to know about hormone fluctuations, he chalked it up to that. He had arranged to bring breakfast home knowing she would be tired after working on the nursery the previous day. Johnny had stopped to pick up a coffee ring with pecans and paper plates. She had been sewing the curtains and making a crib quilt during his shift. They had already painted the room yellow and Johnny had assembled the furniture. "I didn't get the table ready for breakfast. I was going to use our good dishes and candles," she lamented.

"Janes, give yourself a break. You worked all day yesterday on the nursery and you're making another human in there," he'd said lovingly rubbing her swell of her stomach. "Sounds like you're pretty darn busy, darlin'. I'd just as soon use the paper plates I bought. We can have a speedy clean up and then have more time together," Johnny soothed. He drew her into his arms and kissed her. JJ had set the table while Johnny prepared the grapefruit halves and started the coffee.

They had attended church services and then grilled chicken outside for lunch. It was a lovely May afternoon. The swing had lazily lulled JJ into a nap in the shade curled up on her side with her head in Johnny's lap. Truth be told, he had dozed off for a cat nap as well. They had taken a leisurely walk through the neighborhood mid-afternoon. However as the day wore on he could sense her uneasiness. He walked over to where JJ sat reading on the sofa. "Janes, uh, is everything okay? You seem, well bummed." Johnny sat down by her.

She couldn't bring herself to admit to him how she felt. Johnny was the best husband and she adored him. "Yeah, I guess I am just tired or something," she said hedging knowing the 'somethin' was the real issue.

Johnny sat and patted the spot by him. "Babe, come here, I'll rub your back." Somehow his kindness just made it worse, made her feel ashamed of feeling unworthy. She burst into tears. "Hey, hey, Janes," Johnny enveloped her in a hug and let her cry. One thing he'd learned was JJ bottled up her feelings at times and this was her release. He handed her tissues and she mopped up her face. "Janey, what's up? Come on," he coaxed, "you can tell me."

She leaned against him to hide her face and the feelings it most likely showed and shook her head against his chest. "It's stupid." He waited silently, not an easy feat for him. "You won't get it," she stalled.

"Janes," he chided. "Come on, you know all about my embarrassing dating past, my childish weakness for bickering with Chet, and you tolerate my obsessions and rants. It can't be worse than _that_," he joked gently. "Tell me, try me..."

"You are just so…and I am so…and I don't understand…," she sighed. "It's gonna be a long story," she warned.

He checked his watch glibly and smiled. "I believe I have the time." John tipped her head up to look into her eyes, his so gentle. Janey smiled a little and then looked away from him before starting.

"Okay, so when we go places do you know how many heads you turn? I mean the ladies notice you because you are so gorgeous." His eyebrows rose skeptically, thinking of his slender more wiry build and smooth chest compared to the more beefed up, hairy-chested ideal. "No, I mean it. You are like movie star handsome. I see the way some of them look at you and then to me, the question in their eyes like they wonder how_ I_ ended up with _you_. Now I'm like a barn. Who knows what I'll look like after the baby and that underscores the problem. You see, it's not about you or anything you did or didn't do. I know it's my deal. It's just I feel, uh," her voice got very quiet and John had to lean in to hear her whisper, "undeserving." The words hit John like a punch, he was stunned. He knew what unworthy felt like and it twisted his gut to think JJ was feeling anything like that. She continued, "Kids said stuff when I was young and even into high school, teased me about being part boy. They nicknamed me 'Plain Jane' in almost all the places we lived. I didn't have the stylish clothes because we wore what was donated. I understand I didn't date much since we moved around a lot and being an introvert I was kinda invisible. However, I _feel_ like I wasn't pretty enough to ask out. Then there's the college mess with Brad. Apparently I wasn't pretty enough to keep a guy either," she said sourly, "I can't shake how I feel. And it's stupid. I know that. I am afraid you'll think you did something wrong and you didn't; you've been great. And then I feel worse because that might happen anyway if I say anything. Plus part of it is hormones I know that too. It's…dumb," she finished lamely. JJ hadn't looked at John during the whole speech. Her words were water pouring from a pitcher.

He pulled her close and held her, speaking into her hair a question for which he needed an answer, " Have you always felt this way or is this new?" he questioned gingerly afraid of the answer.

She shrugged her eyes downcast. "Pretty much always, just even more now," she admitted. He grew serious. This was more than hormone fueled emotionalism. Thinking on his feet about emotional problems were not his strength and he felt panicked.

"You know, I think a lot of people feel that way, Janes. People don't see themselves clearly and only see the bad." He fumbled for the words. "I know I used to brag about the 'Gage charm', but I think part of the reason I flirted so outrageously was because of my own insecurities and need to prove myself; well actually I know that was it," he admitted. Johnny stopped. It was becoming about him and not about her. Damn it, he always did this, talked about himself when it should be about the other person. He switched his comments to focus on her. "Look Angel, you feel what you feel. It's never stupid." Johnny paused, how could he explain what he saw, what others saw to her? "I am sad you feel the way you do, because I see you so differently. Others do as well you know. Shoot, Chet thinks your outta _my_ league, remember?" That elicited a small smile from JJ. "Did you know Marco hopes to find someone just like you someday to marry? The men on my shift they always remark about how stunning you are and how lucky I am. Other firefighters that know you make remarks to each other when they think I can't hear. Sometimes it bothers me a bit, what they say, noticing those things about you. Jealousy I guess." Johnny smiled sheepishly and used his thumbs to brush away a few unshed tears from JJ's eyes. "You know, Dr. Brackett refers to you as a 'real looker'. Dr. Early asks how my 'beautiful wife' is doing when he sees me. He could just ask 'how's JJ or how's your wife', but he doesn't, right? Oh and that new intern at the hospital, the blond one that all the women are gaga over? He was gunning for you after he saw you in pediatrics filling in for that nurse with the family emergency until Dixie set him straight. It was when your rings were at the jewelers been checked and cleaned. She told me about it. I hadn't mentioned it because well I thought it might be upsetting to you being ogled." He stopped for a moment to gauge how JJ was taking what he was saying. "Look, I know how words can hurt. I wish I could erase them for you, but all the evidence I see shows how you have misjudged how you're seen. Plus those comments I've overheard, the things other men have said about you tell something different than you feel. They think you're, let's see I'll quote them: 'sexy as hell', 'gorgeous', 'foxy', and passable." JJ looked up at the last comment in surprise and John grinned crookedly, "Just making sure you're listening." She frowned at him and gave him a poke in the chest.

He set her on his lap sideways so he could pull her close. The baby was making it a bit harder these days to cuddle. "They said those things?" she asked doubtfully and it broke Johnny's heart she would question it.

"Yep," he made a motion like he was crossing his heart, "And honestly a few things that are so over the line I won't repeat them, I might _do_ them to you, but _they_ shouldn't be talking about it," he said his eyebrow rising seductively. "So, if you feel undeserving or average remember I think you are the sexiest, foxiest, smartest, most beautiful woman in the world." He punctuated each superlative with a kiss. "I love your body just like it is and when I see other ladies I compare them to you and _they_ fail the test Janes." "Plus you _must_ be gorgeous to attract a husband with 'movie star' looks," he teased.

JJ chuffed out a laugh. "So then, can I have your autograph?" she asked.

"Janes, you have more than that," Johnny replied seriously. He pulled her closer so her head lay over his chest.


	34. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 Nova**

She walked every day at a brisk pace. Only in the last three weeks had she given up formal hikes, however short they had been. Two weeks, _two weeks_ past the due date and JJ was getting impatient. "Maybe I'll start taking two walks a day," she mused the Saturday that marked two weeks past the date circled in red on the calendar. Johnny had started calling three or four times per day to check on her if he could.

JJ was working on her self-esteem issues. It was funny she thought. Everyone had seen Johnny as the immature one and it was actually her that needed to grow up. She huffed out a dry laugh. Boy, would Chet think _that_ was funny. She'd been working on a series of articles for a woman's magazine over the media's portrayal of what a woman should look like and its impact on the modern woman. JJ found it helpful to address these misconceptions in writing and offer a more constructive perspective. She was reshaping her own self-concept. Maybe it could help someone else as well.

Johnny had been on edge for that first week after JJ's due date. He'd jumped every time the phone rang at work and driven JJ crazy by watching her every move at home. A talk with Roy had helped him to put it in perspective. If he was up tight, it just made JJ feel the same and it didn't hurry their baby at all. Most first babies come later than the due date; it was the norm. Johnny had repeated these ideas like a chant in his head ever since. At least it had helped him _appear_ less up-tight he thought as he smirked. His crew had been especially tolerant and keep the work shift as up-beat as possible. Eric had the cougar all ready for its next appearance with a little diaper pined with a small brass safety pin.

It was a pretty big surprise to her that Monday afternoon in the third week when she felt a gush of liquid roll down her legs while at the bank teller's window. JJ's eyes grew wide enough the teller asked if anything was wrong. "Well, not wrong exactly," JJ ventured, "it's just my water broke." She had felt achy for a couple days, but it seemed normal under the circumstances. Johnny had rubbed her back last evening and she had felt better. Now she realized it must have been early labor. The teller had wanted to call paramedics, but she refused to allow it. She'd quickly finished her transaction and walked to her car. After thinking it through, she decided to head home and get her bag she had packed for the birth and then let Johnny know labor had begun. Since her water had broken, she'd have to go to the hospital soon due to the possibility of infection. She changed to dry clothes and put the others in the washer. After adding a few last minute toiletries, she dialed the fire station. Eric answered, "Station 110."

"Hey Eric, it's JJ, is John there?" JJ tried to sound normal not wanting any drama. She grimaced through a contraction.

"Yes, I'll get him Jay," Eric replied. He sat the phone down and walked to his captain's office. "Cap? Jay's on the phone for you."

Captain Gage looked up from the paperwork, "Thanks Eric." He smiled at the nickname Eric had given JJ, got up stretched and walked briskly to the phone. "Hey Janes," he said in greeting.

"Hey love, you probably need to call for a replacement. My water broke a half an hour ago at the bank." JJ said.

"You're sure?" he asked surprised it was finally happening. Then he realized how silly it was to ask an RN if she was really in labor.

She laughed, "Absolutely John. No rush, you have time. We'll both be here."

"Finally!" Johnny said a bit more loudly than he meant to and then rubbed his hands together cradling the receiver with his ear and shoulder. The men jumped and then all grinned widely knowing exactly what must be happening. " Well Janes, I'll make the call and be there soon. Love you."

"I love you too, John." Next, JJ called Mrs. Simpson, who had agreed to care for Dudley, to let her know they'd need her to feed him tonight and called the Longbow's to arrange for the horses. Then she stayed up and paced hoping it would speed up the birth. Her bag was waiting by the door.

He drove in about 30 minutes later and spurted into the house, still in uniform. He spied her sitting on the couch looking at her watch. "You doing okay? Sorry it took so long; my replacement had car trouble so the chief just called the station down until he arrives."

"Every 20 minutes now," she said. I called the doctor while I waited and he would prefer we come in so he can check me out. I can't believe it is finally happening, John," she smiled and some nervousness showed.

"Let me change. I'll be quick." Johnny quickly changed from his uniform to something comfortable. Whatever he put on, he'd be wearing for a long while. He stooped to pick her bag and locked the door after JJ stepped out on the porch.

He was surprised at how calm he felt. Maybe it was his training kicking in, Johnny wasn't sure. During the drive, JJ had more contractions and she timed them.

At the hospital, JJ was wheeled away while Johnny filled out endless paperwork. When that was finally completed, he was allowed to join his wife in her room. The nurse reported labor was progressing nicely. JJ was restless and wanted to be up moving. With all her reading and research over the past months, she was convinced being prone did not help childbirth progress. The couple walked around the floor and found contractions strengthened. Dr. Early and Dixie were in house and stopped by to say hello. Dr. Brackett was off.

During an exam to check her progress an hour later, Johnny slipped out to call Joanne to let her know the baby was on the way. Roy was still working and Joanne promised to call him.

For a first baby, the labor progressed fairly quickly. Only ten hours after admittance, JJ was ready to push. Joanne had arrived about an hour before and was in the waiting area. Johnny had gone out to update her. He was energized and animated. Only the shadow of a beard betrayed his lack of sleep. "She's doing great. We are pretty close to the end," he reported and grinned. "You ladies are tough, Joanne. Don't know how you do it."

Joanne just smiled and nodded, "Don't you forget it either! Jewelry and flowers are always appreciated," she joked. "Go on back to JJ, Johnny. I'll be waiting here."

Johnny had managed to stay calm and focused throughout the labor. He'd tried to go to that place he used as a paramedic. However, it had been very trying to see his wife in so much pain, much harder than he had thought it might be. JJ was even quieter than usual. She had broken out in a sweat and spoke only in monosyllables. He had always been exhilarated after delivering a baby on the job and he found that same high along with a lot of anxiety as he faced the birth of his child. All his training prepared him for what to do and also taught him all that could go wrong.

JJ found John an anchor during labor. As a nurse, she knew all the stages of labor, the medical terms for what was happening. It was different when you were going through it. He was a steadying force as she felt her own control slipping. JJ had hyperventilated once during labor. Before the staff could intervene, Johnny had automatically helped her slow her breathing. Quietly, he guided her through the process, feeding her ice chips or reassuring her. Her world had narrowed down to pain and John.

Nova Joy Gage was born at 5:30 am that Tuesday. Their black-haired daughter had strong lungs and vigorously protested being poked and weighed. JJ had never seen anything so beautiful. Johnny first held his daughter swaddled tightly in a pink hospital blanket, face framed by two little fists, lips pursed. He sat by JJ and together they welcomed Nova into the family.

"Look at her Janes! She's perfect. Has your eyes and," he patted his daughter's behind, "and your tush by the feel of it," he quipped. The OB nurse stifled a laugh. That comment was definitely a first by a new dad.

"You're a riot John!" she said dryly. "She has your hair and coloring love, maybe your nose. She's a lovely blend of us both." JJ checked for ten fingers and toes marveling at Nova's soft skin. Their daughter already had a thick thatch of black hair and dusky skin just like Johnny. JJ had hoped for that. How fun it would be fixing her hair as she got older.

Uncle Roy and Aunt Joanne were the first to meet their niece Nova. Roy had arrived around 6:30 am coming straight from work. A nurse had come out to announce the arrival of a healthy girl only a few minutes after Nova's arrival. Johnny had stayed through all the weighing, measuring and APGAR tests. JJ had been moved to a room. When they were moving her, Johnny bounded into the waiting area. Roy stood up and Johnny pulled him into a hug his words pouring out. "It's a girl, Roy, Nova Joy, 7 pounds 4 ounces 19 inches long and lots of black hair, all ten fingers and toes! What a rush Roy! More than when we were paramedics, you know?"

Roy chuckled, "Yeah, I know Johnny. I wasn't allowed in with Joanne, but I know. How is JJ?"

Johnny practically gushed, "JJ was amazing, just amazing. She's really tired, but fine, just fine. They've finishing up with her and then she's being moved to a room. As soon as she's settled, JJ wants you two to come back and meet your niece."

The nurse came in at the end of Johnny's comments and ushered them back to JJ's room. She was propped up holding Nova still fueled by adrenaline. "Roy, Joanne please come in! Meet Nova," JJ told them.

Both Roy and Joanne walked to the bedside, overcome with the excitement and emotion of the moment colored by the memories of the births of their own children. "She's beautiful, JJ," Joanne said quietly, "John's dark hair and coloring and your eyes JJ." JJ offered to allow Joanne to hold her.

Johnny looked on and remarked, "Roy, I've delivered babies before you know, but it's sure different being there when it's your wife. Harder, you know?" He ran his hand through his hair and it stuck up in odd angles.

Roy nodded, "I'll bet. Still looks like you both did great, Junior." He placed an arm around his friend's shoulders. Johnny smiled his mood brightening. Roy smiled at his friend's rapid change of mood. Nice to know some things stay the same he thought.

Joanne crooned to the baby and asked, "Nova is a name I've never heard. Where did you get it? Is it Indian?"

Johnny replied, "Yeah, JJ found it. It means chasing butterflies."

JJ laughed. "They didn't have a name that meant eats everything in sight so I could name her after her father," she joked. Johnny just rolled his eyes and smiled good naturedly.

When it was Roy's turn to hold Nova, she started to cry lustily. JJ offered to take her from him. "Nah, it's fine," Roy explained, "She sounds kinda like Johnny when he is crabby. I know just how to deal with it. I have loads of practice."

Johnny gave Roy an incredulous look. "Whataya mean by that comment…," he began huffily.

With just a slight jiggle of his arms up and down and a gentle side to side sway, Nova quieted. Roy looked up and grinned. "I only left out the part where I give Johnny food."

Joanne and JJ laughed, Johnny glowered and then smirked, "Very funny pally."

JJ had quiet night and the next morning Johnny kept visitors away for a few hours. He wanted to be sure JJ got enough sleep. She had slept all night and then into the morning except for being awoken to nurse Nova and during periodic checks by the nurses on herself. He had appealed to Dixie to talk to the floor nurses so they wouldn't disturb JJ's sleep. She'd just smiled knowing rest was one of their main goals for the mother anyway. Dixie had talked to the head nurse, but just to gain her collusion to make it look like they were pampering JJ. It was well known that Johnny was a favorite of Dixie's. The floor nurse was a friend of Dixie's and was game to play along. JJ felt fine, but let Johnny have his way. She found his concern endearing and sweet even if it became slightly annoying at times. She'd have plenty of time to do it all quite soon.

The rest of that day and the next found a parade of firefighters and medical personnel coming by with well wishes. Elaine called and was planning a visit when Johnny returned to work. As visitors stopped by JJ was only too glad to show off her new daughter as was Johnny. Eric had come by and brought a little stuffed cougar for Nova. Johnny had laughed heartily, explaining the inside joke to JJ. "She's beautiful Jay," Eric told JJ, "Doesn't look at all like Johnny, thank goodness," he kidded in mock relief.

Johnny had turned to JJ and deadpanned, "Janes, had I told you Eric has been awarded permanent latrine duty?"

Eric had just laughed and Johnny cracked a good natured smile. "Remember Cap, I have that other cougar now," he'd warned threateningly. Of course Eric had already secretly placed the diapered stuffed cougar into his captain's locker to await his return to work. Shortly after noon on the third day the new family packed up and went home.

Nova's cousins, Chris and Jenny, met her two days later after the Gage's went home. Jenny brought her nurse's kit, wore the hat from her uniform and tended her Aunt JJ sweetly. The rest of the uniform she had out grown already. Chris played with the 'neglected' Dudley after holding his new cousin. Dudley had actually slept in the crib while the family was gone and played with the mobile as the telltale patch of cat fur on the crib sheet testified. Uncle Johnny gave Roy a cigar and had purchased a bubble gum cigar for Chris since he was one of the 'men'. Joanne had organized meals to be brought in so they could be frozen and heated later. JJ felt blessed to have such wonderful friends. The ladies at church had done the same. JJ figured she wouldn't have to cook for several weeks.

The DeSoto's kept their visit on the short side. After they had left, Johnny heated up a meal and one of them ate while the other tended Nova. Later that night, after Nova had been put down to sleep, at least for a few hours, she and Johnny lay in each others arms exchanging pillow talk and fell into a contented sleep.

Johnny awoke in the night and heard Nova stirring in her bassinette. Allowing JJ to sleep a bit longer, Johnny changed his daughter. He then brought her to JJ in bed. "Janes? Someone needs breakfast in bed," he teased as he kissed his wife on the cheek. JJ opened her eyes sleepily and propped herself up. Using Johnny's pillow to support her arm, she cradled Nova. JJ nursed Nova while he curled around both of them and stroked their child's head with a finger. When Nova was finished, Johnny swaddled up his little girl and carried her back toward the bassinette softly carrying on a one sided conversation. He paced and patted her back, humming a wordless tune until she fell asleep. Gently laying her back into the bassinette, he returned to bed. He scooted over close enough to JJ so he could draw her into his arms. He inhaled the scent of his wife. She half awoke having already fallen asleep, nestled closer and with a soft sigh fell back asleep.

Johnny had been thinking a lot of his parents lately. As he took on his newest role of father, everything he did made him aware of how his parents had cared for him. He wondered what tune his father may have hummed to him as an infant or what advice his mother may have shared with him about calming fussy infants had she still been alive. He believed they would be proud of him, pleased at the man he was now. Johnny closed his eyes and drifted into peaceful sleep.

_There is a sequel to this fan fiction titled "Life _After_ Nova"._


End file.
